1 &Novice&Writers&Can t&Master&It&All!& - PDF document

A Clarity Clinic for Scientific Writing First,&some&reflec/ons&on&wri/ng….& & & Pamela&Derish& Scien/fic&Publica/ons&Manager,&Department& of&Surgery,&UCSF& Why this? Instead of this? The&natural&history&of&peritoneal&carcinomatosis& An&apprecia/on&of&these&aspects&is&fundamental&to&an& understanding&of&the&natural&history&of&peritoneal& must&be&understood&in&order&to&determine&whether& carcinomatosis&and&to&the&interpreta/on&of&the&efficacy&of& new&treatments&are&effec/ve.& new&treatment&modali/es.& What are the problems here ? ! Wordy,&abstract,&inflated&wri/ng&style&(ion&verb&forms,& mul/syllabic&words&used&instead&of&simpler&ones)& There&is&no&form&of&prose & & more&difficult&to&understand & Instead(of(this:( and&more&tedious&to&read & An&apprecia/on&of&these&aspects&is&fundamental&to&an& than&the&average&scien/fic & understanding&of&the&natural&history&of&infec/ous&diseases&and& paper. & to&the&interpreta/on&of&the&efficacy&of&new&treatment& Francis(Crick ( modali/es.&&(28&words)& & The(Astonishing(Hypothesis,(1994 ( How(about(this?( The&natural&history&of&infec/ous&diseases&must&be&understood&in& order&to&determine&whether&new&treatments&are&effec/ve.& Why&do&you&think&this&problem&persists?& (18&words)& 1

&Novice&Writers&Can � t&Master&It&All!& & & As&a&novice&in&a&field&reads&its&professional&prose,&he&will&predictably&try& to&imitate&those&features&of&style&that&seem&most&prominently&to& bespeak&membership,&professional&authority.&&And&in&complex& professional&prose,&no&feature&of&style&is&more&typical&than& clumps(of( La8nate(abstrac8ons :& & (Individualized( assessment (of(the( appropriateness (of(the(death(penalty…(( &An&apprecia/on&of&these&aspects&is&fundamental&to&an&understanding& of…& (sound(familiar?)( & && & & ( & John(M.(Williams,(Style.(Towards(Clarity(and(Grace,(1990( Course Mantra #1 Course Mantra #2 In&literature&the&ambi/on&of&the& Clear&wri/ng&is&wri/ng&that&is& novice&is&to&acquire&the&literary& incapable&of&being& language;&the&struggle&of&the& misunderstood.& adept&is&to&get&rid&of&it.& & & (((QuinLlian,(1rst(Century(AD & G.(B.(Shaw && & Not&listed&as&synonyms&for& scienLfic:( Synonyms for scientific , according ( to Roget's Thesaurus: complicated( – meticulous ( (contorted( – delicate ( ( (longwinded & – undeviating – accurate & – sensitive 2

! Word&Choice& Clear&prose&style&takes&place&at&the&level&of…& & 1.&the&word& 2.&the&sentence& 3.&the&paragraph& & Words&in&scien/fic&wri/ng&should&be…& 1.&Use&Precise&Words& " 1.-Precise- &(increase/decrease&NOT&change;&dog,&mouse,&NOT&animal)& Example( 2.-Simple- &(prior&to → before,&following → aZer,&ini/ate → begin)& & 3.-Necessary &&(fewer&words&=&less& � noise � &and&more&message)& Maximal&coronary&vasodila/on&with& 4.-Familiar- carbochromen&had&other&effects.& &&&&Do&not&invent&words&(endorphinized → injected&endorphins)& & &&&&Avoid&jargon& &&&&Limit&use&of&abbrevia/ons& 5.-Humane ((the(paLent(did(not(fail(therapy)( Mimi(Zeiger,(EssenLals(of(WriLng(Biomedical( Research(Papers & Use&Precise&Words& Use&Precise&Words& Revision & What-do-you-really-mean-by- � with � ? ( & &with—by,&when& Maximal&coronary&vasodila/on&induced&by&& &with—upon& carbochromen&had&other&effects.& &with—resul/ng&in,&crea/ng& & &with—plus,&and,&containing& & & & 3

Use&Precise&Words& Use&Precise&Words& Example( Revisions( ( ( Renal&blood&flow&was&dras/cally&compromised&when& Renal&blood&flow&was&greatly&decreased&when&the& the&aorta&was&obstructed.& aorta&was&obstructed.& & & Renal&blood&flow&was&reduced&by&X%&when&the&aorta& was&obstructed.& & Use&Simple&Words& 2.&Use&Simple&Words& ( & Revisions( Example(( The&superiority&of&this&technique&has&not& Whether&this&technique&is&becer&is&not&known.& previously&been&demonstrated.& We&are&the&first&to&show&that&this&technique&is& & becer.& ( Use&Simple&Words& Use&Simple&Words& How Many Ways Can You Say � Is � ? administer &&for&&& give & (( (demonstrate &&for&&& show & constitutes exists (employ(or(uLlize( &for&&& use & represents ( ( (encountered &&for&&& found & serves as (following &&for&& aVer( 4

3.&Use&Necessary&Words& Find&a&Simple&Word&For…& one of the (encountered( small number of (majority( (methodology( a limited number of (modality( a proportion of (modify( a sufficient number of (opLmum( a number of (paradigm(( a sizable number of (perform(( a majority of (prior(to( (superior(to (( fewer in number Use&Necessary&Words& Use&Necessary&Words&(Omit&En/re&Phrases)& It&is&important&to&acknowledge&that& has&the&capability&to………….can& is&of&the&opinion&that………….believes& It&is&interes/ng&to&note&that& was&unable&to…………………could&not& It&is&not&impossible&that& was&applicable&to……………..applied&& A&not&unlikely&cause&could&be&that& as&a&consequence&of………….because& accounted&for&by&the&fact&that…& It&may&be&said&that& at&the&present&moment…………& It&is&not&a&large&theore/cal&leap&to&consider&that& at&this&point&in&/me……………..& It&has&been&reported&that…etc& by&means&of…………………….. What&Can&Be&Cut?& What&Can&Be&Cut?& Oxygen&uptake&in&response&to&drugs&was&examined&and&found& pursuit&and&understanding& to&vary&considerably.& underlie&or&influence& & & &Oxygen&uptake&varied&considerably.& interest&and&concern& Anesthesia&under&war/me&condi/ons.& breadth&and&scope& & & &Anesthesia&during&war.& act&to&produce& Symptoms&of&a&neurological&nature.& & & &Neurological&symptoms.& 5