What?: How to Stay Goal Oriented in Times of Distress Robert - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Life Happened, Now What?: How to Stay Goal Oriented in Times of Distress Robert Scholz, MA, LMFT Clinical Director Engage Treatment Programs, Westlake Village

What do you think?  What are stressors in now? Ahead?  What are the challenges in dealing with life?

 Academics  Money  Family/ Missing Home  Extra-curricular/sports/work---time management  Relationship concerns  Etc.

Bottom Line: Life is Hard  Good to take advantage of resources available to you  Good to learn skills that will help you with coping with your current and future challenges  Each person’s story is infinitely unique but there are some skills that can help anyone — regardless of situation or problem

Goal: To be more resilient  What is resilience? How would you define?

Resilience

“ Basically---resilience means the ability to “bounce back” after being ” stretched . - A MERICAN P SYCHOLOGICAL A SSOCIATION

4 Dimensions  Physical  Social  Cognitive  Mindfulness/Meditation/Mind- Quieting ** Combination of nature/ nurture

Physical  Note — These are very basic, but often neglected, and very tied to mental health.  Like what?

Physical  Sleeping  Eating  Exercise

Sleep  How many hours is good?

Sleeping  8-9 hours is best  Did you get that last night?  Do you wake up feeling rested?

But I don’t have time to sleep!  Do you have time to get sick?  Do you have time to waste reading/studying information that you cannot code and/or retrieve?  Do you have time for more emotional distress, relational conflict, challenges to seem more overwhelming than they are, etc.?  DON’T HAVE TIME NOT TO SLEEP!

Want to sleep but can’t?  Consider these tips:  Avoid caffeine later in the day  Avoid heavy eating right before bed  Exercise — but not right before bed  Have some transition time---avoid screens or stressful material right before bed  Try to maintain the same basic sleep schedule  If can’t sleep --- get up! Don’t fight it.

Exercise  Exercise can help promote resilience  Aerobic exercise is especially good for mood struggles.  Are you doing that? Getting aerobic exercise several days per week?  What about something that relaxes you — like yoga or hiking?

Healthy Eating  How would you guess diet is connected to mental health or mood?

Healthy Eating  I’m not a dietitian, so won’t go into extensive detail here, but will remind you to watch  Not eating regularly  Not drinking enough water  Eating too much junk food  Over-doing it on caffeine

Social Coping  Research repeatedly shows in the little annoyance of life and the huge stressors and losses, social support promotes resiliency.

Friends are important  To share important concerns  To get support  To relax, laugh, have fun  To play  Academic journey is a marathon more than a sprint. Make time for friends.

Healthy Thinking  What kinds of thoughts would help a person resilient?  What kinds of thoughts do you think interfere or add to the problem?

 Expecting challenges as a part of life vs. being shocked that your life doesn’t go smoothly  Learning to rally and have a “This too shall pass” perspective

Avoid Rigid Thinking  Perfectionism  All-or-nothing  Catastrophic thinking

Avoid Critical Thinking  Don’t insult self  Watch inner dialog  Realizing thoughts are not always reality--- Try “I’m having the thought that…[I’m going to fail]”

What is your mindset  Fixed mind set  Growth mindset  Life Sucks  It’s never going to get better.  I know I’m going to fail  I just can’t take it anymore.

Thinking grateful thoughts  Simply choosing to write down 5 things a day that you are grateful for can improve  Psychological well-being---mood, energy, etc  Physical well-being---sleep, fewer symptoms  Social well-being — better relationships

Mindfulness  Intentional, purposeful  Opposite is  mindlessness  Self-aware  Present  Problem-solving  E.g., I am feeling anxious. I am going to turn off this news show and go for a walk. On walk notice flowers, birds, etc.

M I N D F U L N E S S M E D I T A T I O N DISCRETE PERIODS OF MEDITATION OFTEN FOCUSED ON PAYING ATTENTION TO BREATH, BODY, AND THE PRESENT MOMENT.

Guided meditations  Online options  Marc.ulca.edu  Franticworld.com  Let’s do one of these now ----  Franticworld.com---Go to guided meditations  Mindfulness meditation of body a breath  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvZB5sHZLFE  FOREST RIVER GUIDED Meditation to let go

M I N D F U L N E S S R E S E A R C H POSITIVELY AFFECTS BRAIN PATTERNS UNDERLYING DAY-TO-DAY ANXIETY, STRESS, DEPRESSION, AND IRRITABILITY REGULAR MEDITATORS SEE DOCTORS LESS OFTEN; SPEND FEWER DAYS IN HOSPITAL MEMORY IMPROVES, CREATIVITY INCREASE, REACTION TIMES BECOME FASTER.

So Assess Yourself…Where Can You Improve?  Physical Health?  Social Connectedness?  How You Think?  Living in the Present?

Final Thoughts  Your Resilience is Dynamic…things can get better.  Do Something!  Remind Yourself that these changes are connected to Your Goals  Seek Help if you’re struggling  Teachers  Counselors  Mentors  Therapists