What are the characteristics of a crucial conversation ? First - - PDF document

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Driscoll Children’s Hospital

Mike Mohat, MBS, BSN, RN

What are the characteristics of a “crucial” conversation?

First – Opinions Vary Second – The Stakes are High Third – Emotions Run Strong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixEI4_2Xivw

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Common Lingo

• Attitude – mental frame of mind – unseen

but perceived

• Behavior – an observed action or deed
• Performance – the action of carrying out a

task for function

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Why are Crucial Conversations Difficult?

Mental and emotional drains Time consuming Don’t want to be the “bad guy”

The Result?

Hope it will go away on it’s own so we ignore Things go from bad to worse Don’t let it fester and spread

Why don’t crucial conversations tend to go well?

• Emotions tend to rule
• Your body physically reacts
• We are under pressure
• We are stumped
• We act in self defeating ways

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Front-line management is one of the most difficult jobs in the world

Common Reasons for Crucial Conversations

• Inappropriate Behavior
• Workplace harassment
• Violation of workplace policy or

guidelines

• Patient/Family Complaints
• Staff/Physician Complaints

Consider Both Sides First

Be your own “devil’s advocate”

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Set the tone – How have you have been as a leader up to this point? Have you exhibited a respectful and appreciative demeanor prior to this encounter. Do you “Walk the Talk”

• Silence
• Victim
• Villain
• Violence – you must make clear that

destructive behavior will not be tolerated

How do I open the conversation?

State what you want to discuss. “I want to talk with you about...” Share a specific example. “I heard…” Explain what is bothering you. “I am concerned about..” Describe the importance. “From my perspective this is important because...” Own your own stuff. “I have some responsibility… For this, I am sorry.” Then STOP and Listen - Make it safe for them to talk “Seek first to understand…”

• Listen with curiosity and care; not judgment
• Listen for what is NOT being said
• All Feelings are legitimate, it is not about what we

feel but what we do that matters.

• Ask open-ended questions
• “Tell me more…”
• “Help me understand…”

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The Real

Focus on personal accountability, not blame Personal accountability = accepting responsibility for my own actions and non-actions They have to “own” it

How do I end the conversation?

• Summarize what was learned: what if you had a “do over”?
• Re-state the importance.
• Ask for what you want next.
• Make an agreement. Say, “Thank You.”
• What is the consequence
• Check back in __________
• Say, “Thank You.”
• . Follow through

Outcomes

• Redemption to Termination
• Growth
• Document

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References

Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

Edition: 2nd 2012 Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior

Edition: 2nd 2013 Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, David Maxfield

A Portable Mentor for Organizational Leaders

2003 Kendall L. Stewart

Instilling Accountability on the Front Line

2007 The Advisory Board Company

References

• Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al

Switzler)

• Difficult Conversations (Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, and Roger

Fisher)

• Fierce Conversations (Susan Scott)
• Fierce Leadership (Susan Scott)