The Fundamental Task Of Life: What, Why, How Julie A. Kaufman How - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

The Fundamental Task Of Life: What, Why, How

Julie A. Kaufman

How I First Experienced the Life Tasks

Occupation Love / Intimacy Spiritual Personal / Self-care Community

Brief Review

• All behavior serves a purpose - is a striving

toward a felt plus.

• Neurotic and psychotic safeguards = striving

void of social interest.

• These safeguarding movements are

compensatory for feelings of inferiority.

• We are whole indivisible beings.

What is the Fourth Life Task

• It is how we experience ourselves.
• It is getting out of our own way.
• It is feeling comfortable in our own skin.
• It is shaped by our daily self- narrative.
• It is witnessed by others through our

movement and life narratives.

• It is dynamic – we are constantly experiencing

and re-experiencing ourselves.

• Its real strength is only realized when we are

confronted with difficulties.

• It begins taking shape the moment we are

born.

• It is what we bring to the game.

• According to Adler, how we respond to life’s

challenges isn’t always as logical as one would assume.

• Rather, our solutions are based on the

answers that our early childhood experiences and mistaken beliefs trained us to make.

Identity Formation

• Beginning at birth, we get to know ourselves based
• n our interpretations of experiences.
• As we grow, we begin to build our life narrative

based on these interpretations.

• Each new experience offers us the opportunity to

validate or reject our previous narrative.

• Unconsciously, we look to find congruence

between what we experience and our underlying view of how we fit into the world.

• This can create a very narrow field of vision.
• We tend to see only what validates what we

believe to be true of ourselves.

• We begin to use emotional reasoning: if I think it,

if someone else thinks it, or if I feel it …. it must be true.

• We “sculpt” our personhood in an attempt to find

validation, security, significance, and belonging.

The Sculpted Self

• Sculpting is the process of modifying or negating
• ne’s true and organic self.
• Each new modification covers up a little piece of

the organic self - which creates the sculpted self - which then becomes one’s working identity.

• The sculpted self is not only influenced by the

demands of life, it also influences how we meet them.

• The sculpted self is what we bring to our creative

self.

The Creative Self

• The creative self is experienced in two ways:
• Creative drive – innate urge
• Creative power – artistic solution
• And the Life force … is how it comes to

fruition.

The Life Force

What it Isn’t

• Sweeney and Witmer – 1991
• Ultimate goal of humankind is a striving toward
• ptimum health and wellness
• Proposed that the life tasks interact with external

life forces: family, community, religion, government, media, education, and business/industry

Sweeney, T. J., & Witmer, J. M. (1991). Beyond social interest: Striving toward optimum health and wellness. Individual Psychology, 47(4), 527-540.

• Spirituality (renamed as life task one) posited

as the foundational life task — creative energy source, purpose, optimism, inner harmony, and character development

• Self-regulation (renamed as life task two)

Where we Diverge

• The life forces they described are:
• external of the soul
• not life-giving
• not life-creating
• A person’s ability to experience optimism,

inner harmony, and socially interested contribution is dependent upon how he or she experiences their inner self.

• “We are affected in our attitudes, values, beliefs, and behavior by

cultural, historical, and world circumstances and events, i.e., the realm outside of the circle as well as the social institutions through which our major life tasks are expressed. We are

affected, however, not so much by what happens as a result of circumstances or events, as by how we interpret and give meaning to what happens” (pp. 530).

• Sweeney, T. J., & Witmer, J. M. (1991). Beyond social interest: Striving

toward optimum health and wellness. Individual Psychology, 47(4), 527- 540.

Therefore

I posit that a life force is an energy that arises from within the self and is more accurately deemed the influencer versus the influencee.

The Life Force

• Courage
• Power
• Mindset
• Authentic self-expression

Courage

Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. — John Wayne

Courage is:

• The foundation of the life force.
• Learned.
• Choosing to move in the direction of growth

regardless of perceived vulnerability.

• For Adler, courage was most importantly, a

reflection of social interest.

Power

Social Power

• Dominance over others, valuable resources,

attention, etc.

• Ability to control the states and behaviors of
• thers.
• Earned but limited.
• Vertical striving – void of social interest and based

in self-absorption.

• Horizontal striving – based in social interest.

Personal power ….

• Is experienced when one has the ability to live and

act within the realm of their individual belief system.

• Is dependent upon who we believe is in control of
• ur fate.
• Is mindful authority of movement.
• Is freedom from being dominated by others.
• Provides limitless control of our inner resources.

• Can only be understood within a social

context.

• Frees us from self-absorption.
• Increases our tolerance to vulnerability.
• Fortifies our ability to endure hardships.
• Synchronizes our thoughts, feelings, and

behaviors (Amy Cuddy).

The Power Relationship

• People who have social power without a sense
• f personal power:
• Are ego-defensive
• Solicit less input
• Judge others below them more harshly
• Use more coercive power (threats)

Cycle of Powerlessness

• Powerlessness heightens our sense of danger.
• This is experienced as anxiety which impairs our

thoughts.

• Impaired thoughts further disable our inner

resources.

• Safeguarding behavior is used as an attempt to

mitigate feelings of vulnerability.

• Which leads to a greater sense of powerlessness.

• A sense of powerlessness causes us to modify
• ur behavior to match the behavior or

perceived expectations of those we believe hold more social power.

• Perceived powerlessness also causes us to

seek permission before acting.

Empowerment … ?

Authority or power given to someone to do something. To give official authority or legal power. To give power to someone.

• We don’t provide others with power …. power is

an internal resource — permission is not required.

— Inpowerment —

According to Cuddy, “Feeling powerful changes our interpretation of the emotions we feel when under pressure” (p. 132).

Cuddy, A. (2015). Presence: Bringing your boldest self to your biggest

• challenges. New York, NY: Little, Brown and Company.

Mindset

It is said that if you want to know what you were doing in the past, look at your body now; if you want to know what will happen to you in the future, look at what your mind is doing now. — His Holiness the Dalai Lama

• Mindset dictates movement.
• It is shaped by our interpretations of what we
• bserve and experience.
• All experiences are filtered through our

individual and distorted lenses of the world.

• Our narrow vision of the world leads us to see
• nly what provides cognitive comfort.
• Because uncertainty is uncomfortable, we seek

to prove what we believe to be true – even when it is self-limiting.

Fixed vs. Growth Mindsets

• A 2012 study by Yeager and Dweck looked at

how mindset affected the academic and social resilience of adolescents.

• Students were taught either an incremental

theory of intelligence (growth) or a fixed theory

• f intelligence.

Yeager, D. S., & Dweck, C. S. (2012). Mindsets that promote resilience: When students believe that personal characteristics can be developed. Educational Psychologist, 47(4), 302-314.

What Yeager and Dweck Found …

• Youth who were taught the incremental

theory of intelligence:

• Responded to stressful academic and social

events with the belief they were capable of growth and change.

• Achieved significantly greater academic
• utcomes.
• Began to view hostile peers with more

compassion.

• Youth who were taught a fixed theory of

intelligence:

• Gave up more quickly when faced with

academic challenges.

• Viewed hostile others as “bullies” and “bad.”
• Experienced significantly less academic success.

Fixed

• Desire to look smart.
• Challenges avoided.
• Failure is viewed as the end
• f the road.
• Failure represents rejection

and ultimate incompetence.

• Defensive response to

criticism and instruction.

• Threatened by success of
• thers.

Growth

• Desire to learn.
• Challenges embraced.
• Failure is viewed as necessary

for growth; as a part of the success process.

• Failure represents the

courage to take risks.

• Criticism and instruction are

accepted and evaluated for usefulness.

• Inspired by success of others.

In Yeager and Dweck’s Conclusion …

• Self-esteem boosting and trait labeling have a

detrimental impact on mindset, perseverance, and outcome.

• What students need are mindsets that define

challenges as things that they can take on and

• vercome with time and effort.

Anticipation

One of the strongest motivations is anticipation. We all act in line with what we anticipate. We make a secret plan in our mind and move according to it. This is why fear is so dangerous, why the very fear of failure may bring failure about.

— Dreikurs and Mosak

• Older individuals with negative self-perceptions of

aging, and who experienced a serious health event, were less likely to invest in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

• i.e. – how these individuals viewed the aging

process determined whether or not they utilized intrapersonal coping mechanisms to fight their way back to wellness.

Wurm, S., Warner, L., M., Ziegelmann, J. P., Wolf, J. K., & Schüz, B. (2013). How do negative self-perceptions of aging become a self-fulfilling prophecy? Psychology and Aging, 28(4), 1088-1097.

What we believe …. we manifest. Our tendency is to set up our experiences to match what we believe to be true about

• urselves and the world.

Why?

Because predictability feels good. Because feeling incompetent, stupid, ugly, unworthy, etc. is sometimes less painful than realizing that the identity we built our life on is problematic or wrong.

Authentic Self- expression

There is something in everyone of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in

• yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever
• have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all your

life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.

— Howard Thurman, Civil Rights Leader

Authenticity as Authorship

• Mindfully creating oneself from one moment

to the next, based on:

• What feels right at that particular moment
• Ownership
• Insight: motives, intentions, ideals, conscience,

values, etc. Authenticity is a self-recovery of being which was previously corrupted. — Sartre

Why Authenticity matters

• Instead of life happening on chance – it begins

to happen on purpose.

• It affects our presence and influence by:
• decreasing dependence on external validation
• decreasing fears of social rejection
• alleviating need for hyper vigilance and

safeguarding

• Increasing ability to be fully present

• Inauthentic self-expression results in an

imposter experience:

• Perceived intellectual phoniness
• Credit given to external sources – increases

external locus of control

• Personal shortcomings and failures are

exaggerated

• Exacerbated negative assumptions of self
• Keeps us from realizing our authentic self
• Requires tremendous energy

• With insight into of the organic self, one can

begin to create the self with mindful purpose.

• Without self-insight, we adopt the values and

expectations of others.

• We then lose sight of our own values, beliefs,

strengths, desires, etc.

• Which is an example of one of the ways we

give away our power.

Why A Strong Life Force Matters

Because all that we bring to the world depends on how we experience ourselves.

When Underdeveloped

• Fear-based movement - leads to safeguarding

behaviors used to protect fragile self-esteem:

• Avoidance, hesitation, and withdrawal
• Self-doubt
• Perfectionism
• Self-sabotage
• External locus of control
• Blaming behavior
• Defensiveness
• Decrease in socially interested contribution
• Limiting (fixed) mindset

Life Force Cycle of Decline

Demand, challenge, transition, uncertainty Safeguarding mechanisms used to protect fragile self- esteem Ability to engage in meaningful social contribution is compromised Feelings of power, significance, belonging, and security decrease Ability to manage the life force is diminished

Life Force Cycle of Wellness

A Strong Life Force …

• Is necessary for the healthy response to life’s

demands, challenges, transitions, and uncertainties.

• Is at the heart of healthy relationships.
• Is necessary for personal development and

growth.

• All other tasks of life are dependent upon it —

including our ability to experience our spirituality and deal with the existential givens of life.

The Life Tasks

Life Force

Spirituality/E xistence Contribution Intimacy / Love Social

Therapeutic Application

Observation

• Rabbit ears of the hear and now (Yalom):
• Presence
• Posture
• Self-advocacy
• Ownership
• Energy
• Response to surroundings
• Interpersonal interactions
• Etc.

Narrative Evaluation

• How does the client experience and share

their story?

• Are there any themes?
• Victim, persecutor, rescuer
• Subjugation
• Locus of control
• Anger, fear, sadness, guilt, shame, etc.
• Defensiveness, blaming, and Complaining

Assessment

• Formal measures:
• Resiliency, locus of control, hardiness, etc.
• Lifestyle evaluation
• Early Recollections:
• Challenged
• Stuck
• Afraid
• Embarrassed
• Proud
• Failed
• Succeeded
• Etc.

Courage and Power

• Strength zone / comfort zone
• Experiential interventions
• Reminders that courage isn’t the absence of

fear

• Honoring the value of mistakes and failure

Early Development

• Allow children the opportunity to struggle. It is

how they experience their strength.

• Be mindful that your actions communicate. Are

you inadvertently communicating that they are incapable of enduring struggle?

• Let children decide who and when they want to

hug and kiss. Teach that they are in charge of their personal space and boundaries.

• Honor and encourage self-advocacy.

• Acting as if
• Creative visualization
• Preparatory Power Posing
• Cuddy, A. C., Wilmuth, C. A., Yap, A. J., & Carney,
• D. R. (2015). Preparatory power posing affects

nonverbal presence and job interview

• performance. Journal of Applied Psychology,

100(4), 1286-1295.

Mindset

Psychoeducation and cognitive restructuring

• Challenge fixed mindsets and limiting belief

systems.

• Reframe limiting beliefs with ones that

acknowledge the excitement and opportunity inherent in challenging situations.

• Broaden the view
• Explore other perspectives

• Evaluating vs. judging
• Wondering vs. hoping:
• Hoping creates expectations.
• Expectations create attachments.
• Attachment causes us to manipulate and force
• utcomes.

Jeffers, S. (2003). Embracing uncertainty: Breakthrough methods for achieving peace of mind when facing the unknown. New York, NY: St. Martin’s Griffin

• Focus on effort over ability…(What if our schools

and parents graded perseverance and effort?)

• Use statements such as:

“Wow! That looks like it has really been challenging

• you. I’m impressed with your determination. When

did you become such a warrior?” “No, you haven’t failed yet because you are still

• trying. Getting the wrong answer is a sign you’ve

been working.”

Authentic Self- Expression / Insight

• How did I decide I was _______________?
• Societal expectations
• Family culture and expectations
• Observation and interpretation
• Is this mine or yours?
• Am I honoring the truth of others?
• Teleology
• What am I avoiding?
• What’s the payoff?
• This might be painful, but what is it less painful than? What

would be worse?

• Stillness / mindfulness meditation
• Mind-body-spirit awareness
• Mirror meditation
• Mindful loving self-compassion
• Mindful loving compassion for others
• Honoring each person’s experience and place

• Claiming one’s own darkness
• Assessing strengths and limitations
• Exploring concepts and ideals
• Honoring imperfection
• Journaling

The creation of the self is a work in

• progress. Whether we embrace our

inner power or give it away, we are the creators of our personhood and lives—and we each have the option and ability to create within ourselves the person we wish to be and the life we wish to experience.