Tasks of Adolescence Emotional Control Physical Confidence - - PDF document

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Tasks of Adolescence Emotional Control Physical Confidence - - PDF document

Feb 28, 2024 179 likes •387 views

5/18/16 Julie Metzger, RN Tasks of Adolescence Emotional Control Physical Confidence Cognitive Competence Social Community 1 5/18/16 A Middle Schooler I could use a little more help on being afraid of

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Julie Metzger, RN

Tasks of Adolescence

  • Emotional – Control
  • Physical – Confidence
  • Cognitive – Competence
  • Social – Community
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A Middle Schooler

“I could use a little more help on being afraid of changes when I want to stay a kid.”

Female Puberty

Between the ages of 8-15 girls will:

  • Grow from 2-10 inches
  • Gain 15-55 pounds
  • Grow breasts
  • Develop body odor and pimples
  • Grow underarm and pubic hair
  • Start their periods
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A Girl

“I don’t look forward to any part of puberty. No part looks good except for MAYBE breasts.”

A Girl

“Will I be the only one with something unusual?”

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Male Puberty

Between the ages of 8-18 boys will:

  • Grow an average of 4 inches a year
  • Gain 15-75 pounds,
  • Have testicle and penis growth
  • Develop body odor and pimples
  • Grow facial, underarm and pubic hair
  • Have voice changes

A Boy

“When I’m finished with puberty can I still do the things that I like to do (like building models?)”

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A Boy

“When my voice gets deeper, will I burp deeper too?”

A Girl

“Most of us are very responsible and are able to take care of ourselves, and we all stress at least a little bit about the way we look.”

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A Middle Schooler

“It’s hard going through puberty and people should know straight up it gets

  • tough. I am most looking

forward to starting it and then ending it.”

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Emotional Task = Self Control A Guy

“I wish people knew we had feelings too.”

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A Girl

“How should I deal with my feelings if I feel a zillion things at once?”

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A Guy

“Why do you always insist

  • n talking to me about

feelings and try to make me do the things that you would do when I’m not you?”

A Girl

“I have different feelings about growing older. I feel nervous because it’s a big responsibility but I want the responsibility also”

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Cognitive Task = Competence

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Brains are wired to

  • Seek Pleasure/Avoid Pain
  • Seek Approval/Avoid Disapproval
  • Seek Connection/Avoid Disconnection
  • Under stress – Fight or Flight

Mature decision-maker

  • Autonomy in a Group
  • Perspective of Time and Others
  • Impulse Control

Stanford Center for Adolescence

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Social Task = Community

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Sixth Grade: What I wish my friends understood about me

  • That I really want to fit in more than anything.
  • Sometimes I’m slow to share my ideas.
  • I feel like I’m wearing a mask and no one knows me.
  • Being popular isn’t the answer to everything.
  • I’m not always confident.
  • I often don’t say exactly what I mean, and feel silly afterwards.
  • I am very sensitive.

Developmental Stages

Infant Attachment Toddler Parallel Play Elementary School Best Friends Middle School Sameness High School Uniqueness

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Girls

  • Girls often use words to define

relationships.

  • Sometimes girls choose relationships
  • ver feelings – controlling emotions to

preserve friendships.

Boys

  • Behind boys/ arguments and putdowns is

a complicated social system in which friendships are deeply valued.

Wiseman

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A Boy

“I want my dad to know that I am basically indifferent about girls although if a girl is friendly, I will reciprocate”

A Boy

“I want girls to know that we can act mature – we just don’t like to a lot.”

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Empathy, Experiences, Example

We learn through Experiences and by

  • Example. Offering Empathy sends the

message that your child is Heard, Understood, and Valued.

Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mind Set

Carol Dweck

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Emotion Coaching

  • Empathetic response – define emotion

Goal: To be heard

  • Opportunity to come up with an action

plan Goal: Pause before you act

  • Visualize the consequence of their

actions. Goal: Anticipate the outcome

Emotion Coaching Toolkit

  • It is hard to come up with an Action Plan

until your Feeling has been acknowledged.

  • Kids who can come up with their own

Action Plan are building skills – you are the Coach.

  • Strong decision-makers are pretty

accurate at predicting the consequences

  • f their Actions.
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A Compliment Sandwich

  • Observation that is authentic and

attached to your child’s emotion or effort

  • r shared goal
  • The MEAT of the sandwich – a truth tied

to the conflict or a place of improvement

  • Reaffirm an authentic effort or
  • bservation relevant to this moment
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Thank You!

  • Julie Metzger
  • greatconversations.com
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