Cathy Sones & Kelly Riley Generations Adoptions 2011 Tapestry - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
Cathy Sones & Kelly Riley Generations Adoptions 2011 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference 1 Overview What is Open Adoption? What does the research say about Open Adoption? How does Open Adoption affect the people
Cathy Sones & Kelly Riley Generations Adoptions
2011 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference
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What does the research say about Open Adoption? How does Open Adoption affect the people involved? What does Open Adoption look like over the course of the years?
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About relationships A transfer of power from adoption professionals to birthparents and adoptive families
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An adoption where the birth mother selects and meets the adoptive family; identifying information is exchanged and there are plans for
and adoptive parents are open to contact prior to and subsequent to the placement. Contact information is exchanged. Communication and contact varies adoption to adoption, birth family to adoptive
blogs, emails, visits, and/or phone calls. Some agreements include all types of contact and some include a few. Each adoption is unique.
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Co-parenting Glorified babysitting Confusing for the child An “anything goes” arrangement
In a study of adoptive parents’ feelings about openness 7 years after finalization, 100% of parents agreed that “knowing my child’s birthparents comforts me.”
(Siegel, 2003)
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Reality rather than child’s fantasy Shows that birth parents did not reject the child Birth parents know their child is ok and see the outcome of their decision Adoptive parents feel more entitlement as parents with “permission” from birth parents Honesty and openness promote healthy relationships
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about their parenting rights and responsibilities. Birth mothers do NOT attempt to “reclaim” their children.
Biological parents do not pressure adoptive parents Adoptive parents who know birth parents have less fear Birth parents do not talk to adopted children about it
(Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2003)
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“[She’s] mainly a friend, I guess, I mean she doesn’t have like a parental role, because I already have that. She’s mainly just another person who loves me.”
(Berge, et al., 2006, p. 1033)
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Adoptive openness does NOT appear to influence an adoptee’s self-esteem in any negative way.
Another significant person in a child’s life to love them Access to the reasons why they were placed for adoption Openness contributes to healthy identity formation
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Adoptive parents in open adoptions do NOT feel less in control and have a greater sense of permanence in their relationship with their child. Open adoption does NOT interfere with adoptive parents’ sense of entitlement—that they have the right to parent their adopted child.
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4.5 years later
High satisfaction that there was an open relationship High satisfaction with contact No pressure from biological parents Factors in success
(Etter, 1993)
7 years later
No parents regretted the open adoption, any attitude changes were positive All respondents believed the child is better off with access to birth parents Knowing birthparents provided comfort to both adoptive parents and children Relationships changed
(Siegel, 2003)
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between the child and birth family
The number who felt uncomfortable with contact declined
It is not unlikely that some open adoptions will close (stop contact) over time In those that remain open, contact tends to increase
(Crea & Barth, 2009)
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(Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2003)
Increase in Contact
Mutual concern for the child’s well being Friendship develops between birth and adoptive parents Regular communication
Decrease in Contact
Geographical distance Major differences in life situations, interests, or values Change in a birth family situation Inability to find a mutual comfort zone Perception that contact is stressful for the child
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understanding of self, that includes linking past, present, and future as related to a person’s adopted status Contact with birth family has been observed to promote adoptive identity formation
(Von Korff & Grotevant, 2011)
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Identity formation happens in the stories that a person develops and communicates about themselves Identity formation is a joint task of the individual and “identity agents” who guide stories and meaning- making Events are interpreted through conversation, internally and with others
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Openness (Contact) Adoptive Identity
Increased contact with birth family promotes adoptive identity formation
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(Von Korff & Grotevant, 2011)
Openness (Contact) Family Conversation Adoptive Identity
Age Sex
Openness does not directly affect adoptive identity formation. Openness increases family conversation about adoption which increases adoptive identity formation.
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for post-adoption contact between birth family and adoptive family Communicative Openness means openly sharing with a child about his/her pre-adoptive history Both can lead to healthy identity development
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Personal and genetic history Resolution to questions surrounding loss of biological family Contradiction to child’s self-blame for the loss of biological family Promotion of security in the adoptive family
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family Sense of acceptance from racial/cultural group Opportunity for biculturalism Experience community of origin independent of parents Preparation for racist encounters
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(Berge, Mendenhall, Wrobel, Grotevant, & McRoy, 2006)
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a sense of control in their lives Provides assurance of updates about the child’s wellbeing Assists the birthmother in the grieving process
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adoptions More equipped to answer their children’s questions Greater sense of entitlement as parents Openness does not affect feelings of closeness to a child
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Integration of birth history into their identity Decreases unhealthy fantasizing about birthparents Extra support from another person in their life who cares about them Enables the child to deal with difficult questions from peers and others Ability to see selflessness in the birthmother’s actions, helping them feel gratitude toward her
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from the needs of adults. As a child gets older, the need for access to birth parents becomes stronger Talk about adoption in a way that is meaningful at the child’s point of development
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Use positive voice tone and facial expressions when talking about adoption and birth family Talk about adoption and their adoption story often! The child should grow up knowing they are adopted
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Answer questions simply and concretely Explain that the child grew inside his/her birth mother Include information about the birth father Child begins to understand loss, explain that the birth family planned for the adoptive family to raise the child Emphasize permanence in the adoptive family Children benefit from concrete evidence of birth parent's care such as physical contact and gifts Remain positive: Children can sense a parent's discomfort with questions or contact
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questions and emotions Reassure the child that they can love two sets of parents Share as much information as possible before adolescence, or have birth parents share, to promote honesty and understanding Concerns about physical development: birth parent perspective can be helpful Insecurities surrounding loss and grief and wondering if they will lose another set of parents: Reassure child of belonging to adoptive family
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independence and separation Allow child to make decisions related to contact with birth family Curiosity about other birth family members; provide clarity in relationships and roles. A child may have two sets of parents, and relatives, but with very different roles In relating to birth parent, the child may cope with loss using rejection or denial. Encourage birth parent to continue with contact to demonstrate their continued care and concern for the child, and to facilitate grief processing
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Communicate that the child may remain at home after graduation to ease the transition Assist child in taking ownership over the relationship with birth family Be prepared for overreactions when relationships fail, such as if birth family members become less involved
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Holidays Mother’s Day/Father’s Day Other loss experiences (death of friend, pet, grandparent, etc.) Loss of adoptive parent (divorce, death, illness) Cultural insensitivity about adoption (school, TV, etc.)
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Related to life stage, i.e. adolescence Concern that contact could be emotionally
Fear of being disloyal to adoptive parents
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which helps the healing process Ask a child about his or her expectations for contact Ask a child about their thoughts and feelings about what happened in the contact
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All relationships have challenges It is ok to set and enforce boundaries All relationships have peaks and valleys and evolve
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