T HE PRI NCE SS AND T HE PE A VS. GOL DI L OCK S He lping - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

T HE PRI NCE SS AND T HE PE A VS. GOL DI L OCK S He lping g ifte d stude nts ma na g e pe rfe c tio nism Dr . K rista Britta in Clinic a l Psyc ho lo g ist

I NT RODUCT I ON & OVE RVI E W • Che e rful he llo ! • Re c a ll (o r le a rn) e ve rything the re is to kno w a b o ut g ifte dne ss • T ho ro ug hly de fine pe rfe c tio nism with e xtre me ly po sitive a ttitude s • Ana lyze why we a nd o ur c hildre n a re pe rfe c tio nists • F e e l ve ry g uilty a b o ut this • Ove rthink o ur mista ke s • F e e l ve ry g uilty a g a in • F ix E VE RYT HI NG a nd c ure pe rfe c tio nism! • Ne ve r ma ke a no the r mista ke a g a in • Do e ve rything we ll a nd o n time • F e e l g uilty if yo u didn’ t do so me thing a s we ll a s yo u c o uld ha ve • Ne ve r ha ve a no the r pe rfe c tio nist tho ug ht a g a in • F e e l g uilty whe n a stra y pe rfe c tio nist tho ug h po ps into yo ur he a d • F o r re a l this time , ne ve r ha ve a pe rfe c tio nist tho ug ht a nd ne ve r ma ke a mista ke . • Oh ra ts! I think tha t mig ht b e a pe rfe c tio nist tho ug ht. F e e l g uilty. • Re mind o urse lve s tha t if we ma ke mista ke s o r ha ve pe rfe c tio nist tho ug hts, we will ine vita b ly pa ss this o n to o ur c hildre n, so we MUSN’ T do it. • F e e l g uilty- a lwa ys with the g uilt

I NT RODUCT I ONS & OVE RVI E W • Gifte dne ss re fre she r • De fining Pe rfe c tio nism • Gifte dne ss, Pe rfe c tio nism, a nd Se lf-de ve lo pme nt: c o nne c tio ns in re se a rc h (a nd re a l life ) • L e ss he a lthy a nd he a lthie r pe rfe c tio nism • Wo rking thro ug h pe rfe c tio nism with yo ur g ifte d c hild a t ho me

GI F T E DNE SS RE F RE SHE R • Multiple de finitio ns o f g ifte dne ss • Sing le -fa c to r mo de ls • 3-fa c to r mo de l

GI F T E DNE SS RE F RE SHE R • Multiple de finitio ns o f g ifte dne ss • Sing le -fa c to r mo de ls • 3-fa c to r mo de l • Multiple inte llig e nc e s

GI F T E DNE SS RE F RE SHE R • Aspe c ts o f the g ifte d e xpe rie nc e • De ve lo pme nta l Async hro ny • Ove re xc ita b ilitie s

WHAT I S PE RF E CT I ONI SM?

Y o u mig ht b e a pe rfe c tio nist if…

WHAT I S PE RF E CT I ONI SM? • “Pe rfe c tio nism is the se tting o f, a nd striving fo r , ve ry de ma nding sta nda rds tha t a re se lf-impo se d a nd re le ntle ssly pursue d de spite this c a using pro b le ms. I t invo lve s b a sing o ne ’ s se lf-wo rth a lmo st e xc lusive ly o n ho w we ll the se hig h sta nda rds a re me t.” (Sha fra n, E g a n, & Wa de - 2010)

WHAT I S PE RF E CT I ONI SM? • A b e lie f tha t o ne c a n a nd sho uld b e pe rfe c t in a ll situa tio ns a nd re je c ting a nything le ss • A b e lie f tha t pe rfe c tio n c a n pro te c t us fro m pa in, disa ppo intme nt, e tc . a nd tha t if we a re “pe rfe c t e no ug h” we c a n a c hie ve a pa in-fre e life • A b e lie f tha t ha rd wo rk c a n o ve rc o me a ny c ha lle ng e • A b e lie f tha t thing s “sho uld b e ” e a sie r tha n the y a c tua lly a re

WHAT I S PE RF E CT I ONI SM? • An o ve r-func tio ning o f yo ur fa lse (o r inc o mple te ) se lf

WHAT I S PE RF E CT I ONI SM? • Pe rfe c tio nism se e ms po sitive , e ve n he lpful. (And it c a n b e !) • (L e ss he a lthy) Pe rfe c tio nism is a c tua lly a b o ut: • F e a r • Co ntro l • I nse c urity

WHAT I S PE RF E CT I ONI SM? • I n yo ur re la tio nship with yo urse lf • I nse c urity • I mpo ssib ly hig h sta nda rds • I nc re dib le wo rk e thic

WHAT I S PE RF E CT I ONI SM? • I n yo ur re la tio nships with o the rs • Diffic ulty b e ing vulne ra b le • Be ing e xtre me ly c a ring , he lpful, e tc . • No t sha ring a b o ut yo ur o wn fe e ling s a nd ne e ds • Hig h sta nda rds fo r yo urse lf • I mpo ssib ly hig h sta nda rds fo r o the rs

WHAT I S PE RF E CT I ONI SM? • “Clinic a l pe rfe c tio nism” • E xc e ssive • Ha s the o ppo site e ffe c t (F e e ling wo rse a fte r wo rking ha rde r/ a c hie ving mo re ; Do ing a lo t, b ut fe e ling wo rse ) • Ge ts in the wa y o f da ily living a nd e njo yme nt o f life

WHAT I S PE RF E CT I ONI SM? • I nc re a se d risk o f: • Anxie ty • De pre ssio n • E a ting diso rde rs

• “I ’ m no t a pe rfe c tio nist. I f I we re , I ’ d b e do ing thing s pe rfe c tly.”

PE RF E CT I ONI SM AND SE L F -DE VE L OPME NT

PE RF E CT I ONI SM AND SE L F -DE VE L OPME NT • Whe n a pe rfe c tio nist is me t with a ta sk, the y c a n: • Avo id the ta sk • Pe rfo rm the ta sk in a “sub -sta nda rd” wa y • Pe rfo rm the ta sk in a wa y tha t te mpo ra rily me e ts the sta nda rd • All o f the se le a d to se lf-c ritic ism fo r pe rfe c tio nists

PE RF E CT I ONI SM AND SE L F -DE VE L OPME NT • I de ntity c a n b e c o me fuse d with g o a ls a nd a c hie ve me nts • Pe rfe c tio nism ma y b e c o me a fa c e t o f pe rso na lity

“Pe rfe c tio nism is a n a fflic tio n o f the g ifte d.” • (Silve rma n, 1999, p. 47)

GI F T E DNE SS & PE RF E CT I ONI SM • Re se a rc h sug g e sts: • So me g ifte d c hildre n a nd a do le sc e nts ma y b e mo re pe rfe c tio nistic tha n no n- g ifte d pe e rs, whic h c a n le a d to diffic ultie s in a djustme nt • Othe r fa c to rs ma y c o mb ine with g ifte dne ss a nd le a d to pe rfe c tio nism (e x: SE S, inte ra c tio ns with pa re nts, e tc .) • T he re is suc h a thing a s he a lthy pe rfe c tio nism

GI F T E DNE SS & PE RF E CT I ONI SM • Pe rfe c tio nism a nd de ve lo pme nta l a sync hro ny • E xpe c ta tio ns to pe rfo rm a t me nta l a g e • Olde r pla yma te s, c la ssma te s se tting hig he r sta nda rds • All-o r-no thing thinking • Stre ng ths tha t o ve r-func tio n

GI F T E DNE SS & PE RF E CT I ONI SM • Co nne c tio ns with o ve re xc ita b ilitie s • Psyc ho mo to r o ve re xc ita b ility • I ma g ina l o ve re xc ita b ility • E mo tio na l o ve re xc ita b ility • I nte lle c tua l o ve re xc ita b ility • Se nsua l o ve re xc ita b ility

HE AL T HI E R & L E SS HE AL T HY PE RF E CT I ONI SM

HE AL T HI E R & L E SS HE AL T HY PE RF E CT I ONI SM L e ss he a lthy pe rfe c tio nism • Mo tiva te d b y a de sire to pro ve o ne se lf, ple a se o the rs, a nd a vo id c ritic ism • “Pe rfe c t” de fine d a s a la c k o f vulne ra b ility, me e ting e xpe c ta tio ns, a nd b e ing fre e fro m inne r c o nflic t • F o c us o n the ir o wn impe rfe c tio ns, a vo id ma king o r a llo wing o the rs to disc o ve r mista ke s • Punishing a ttitude

HE AL T HI E R & L E SS HE AL T HY PE RF E CT I ONI SM L e ss he a lthy pe rfe c tio nism c a n le a d to : • Diffic ultie s with ide ntity de ve lo pme nt • Re luc ta nc e to try ne w thing s • Stro ng disliking o f b e ing wro ng • Ne g a tive se lf-e va lua tio ns

HE AL T HI E R & L E SS HE AL T HY PE RF E CT I ONI SM L e ss he a lthy pe rfe c tio nism c a n le a d to : • Unre a listic sta nda rds, wo rk lo a ds • F e a r o f fa ilure a s mo tiva ting • Pre o c c upa tio n with o the rs’ o pinio ns • Ne ve r re sting • Mo o d a nd a nxie ty sympto ms

HE AL T HI E R & L E SS HE AL T HY PE RF E CT I ONI SM • Sympto ms a sso c ia te d le ss he a lthy pe rfe c tio nism • Wo rry • L o w mo o d • T ire dne ss a nd/ o r Po o r sle e p • Rumina ting (o r e ve n o b se ssing ) • Musc le te nsio n • Rig id tho ug ht pa tte rns • Che c king a nd re -c he c king b e ha vio r • Spe nding e xc e ssive time o n ta sks • Pro c ra stina tio n/ a vo ida nc e • L e ss insig ht/ se lf-a wa re ne ss

HE AL T HI E R & L E SS HE AL T HY PE RF E CT I ONI SM He a lthie r pe rfe c tio nism • Mo tiva te d b y se lf-a c tua liza tio n a nd de ve lo pme nt • Ma ke s spa c e fo r se lf-a c c e pta nc e , c o mpa ssio n fo r o ne ’ s o wn sho rtc o ming s • Ha s a n a wa re ne ss o f a nd is e ne rg ize d b y o ne ’ s po te ntia l • Ma y ha ve the g o a ls o f o rde r , o rg a niza tio n, a nd trying o ne ’ s ha rde st

HE AL T HI E R & L E SS HE AL T HY PE RF E CT I ONI SM He a lthie r pe rfe c tio nism c a n le a d to • Ha rd wo rk a ime d a t b uilding skills • L o o king fo r o ppo rtunitie s to impro ve q ua lity o f wo rk • Ste lla r pe rfo rma nc e (a c a de mic , a thle tic , music a l, e tc .) • Cre a tivity/ thinking o utside the b o x • Po sitive se lf-e ste e m • Be ing mo tiva te d b y po sitive o utc o me s

HE AL T HI E R & L E SS HE AL T HY PE RF E CT I ONI SM He a lthie r pe rfe c tio nism inc lude s the a b ility to : • Admit b e ing wro ng • T o le ra te ma king mista ke s • Ce le b ra te a c hie ve me nts • T he ir o wn a nd o the rs’ • T a ke b re a ks