Mindset Matters Just as HEADLINE GOES HERE Much as Technology In the Digital Age Tom Weeks Senior Consultant and Director of Client Solutions tweeks@arbinger.com
TWO MINDSETS
INWARD VS. OUTWARD Others DON’T MATTER like I matter me Others are OBJECTS so while others INWARD objectives & have needs, behaviors are objectives, self-focused & challenges
INWARD VS. OUTWARD Others DON’T MATTER like I matter me Others are OBJECTS INWARD Vehicles that I use objectives & behaviors are Obstacles that I blame self-focused Irrelevancies that I ignore Others MATTER like I matter me Others are PEOPLE OUTWARD I see their needs, objectives & objectives, and behaviors take others into challenges account
INWARD VS. OUTWARD me Others are OBJECTS Vehicles that I use objectives & I focus on behaviors are Obstacles that I blame my results self-focused Irrelevancies that I ignore me Others are PEOPLE I see their needs, objectives & I focus on objectives, and behaviors take our results others into challenges account
HARD & SOFT BEHAVIORS IN EACH MINDSET HARD SOFT When others are objects to us, we . . . Vehicles Obstacles Irrelevancies Vehicles Obstacles Irrelevancies INWARD • Engage in • Indulge • Cope • Manipulate • Criticize • Ignore token niceties • Pander • Avoid • Threaten • Blame • Exclude • Offer little • Try to be • Leave • Control • Punish • Belittle feedback liked Contrast these with hard and soft behaviors we might engage in when our mindsets are outward When others are people to us, we . . . • Listen and learn • Show genuine OUTWARD • Set high • Give helpful correction • Offer help appreciation expectations • Give direct feedback • Give real • Acknowledge mistakes • Have necessary difficult • Involve others responsibility conversations • Take correction easily • Challenge
SELF-AWARENESS TOOL SELF-BETRAYAL 18
Let’s say that I work with Sense/Desire [someone in the room], and Share info Honor I come across some CHOICE information that would be very helpful to them. Betray If I’m seeing them as a ? person, what might occur to me to do? Let’s think about what happens when I betray my sense How do you suppose How do you suppose I might start to see I might start to see the other? myself? busy lazy hardworking Do these thoughts incompetent and feelings invite NO too helpful me to go back and a threat do what I originally not an felt to do ? burden enabler What do they do for me? They justify my not doing it Justified When I betray my outward sense toward others, I need to feel: 19
COLLUSION What do you think an inward mindset invites in others? me other self-focused self-focused objectives & objectives & behaviors behaviors Others are OBJECTS VEHICLES that I use OBSTACLES that I blame IRRELEVANCIES that I ignore 29
MINDSET-CHANGE TOOL THE OUTWARD MINDSET PATTERN TM
What would it look like to conceive my job in this way? . . . ME OTHERS
What do the “outside triangles” signify? MANAGER What do the “inside triangles” signify? CUSTOMERS PEERS REPORTS
OUTWARD MINDSET INWARD MINDSET I FOCUS ON OUR RESULTS I FOCUS ON MY RESULTS MANAGER MANAGER CUSTOMERS PEERS CUSTOMERS PEERS REPORTS REPORTS Why are there no outside triangles on the inward mindset diagram?
OUTWARD MINDSET INWARD MINDSET I FOCUS ON OUR RESULTS I FOCUS ON MY RESULTS MANAGER MANAGER CUSTOMERS PEERS CUSTOMERS PEERS REPORTS REPORTS What if I don’t really know what others want to do but feel like I do good things for them anyway?… Like this. Is this still Inward Mindset? Why or why not?
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THE OUTWARD MINDSET PATTERN S.A.M. SEE OTHERS 1 MANAGER Strive to understand others’ needs, objectives, and challenges. CUSTOMERS ADJUST EFFORTS 2 PEERS Given what I learn about others, 2 1 adjust my efforts in order to be more helpful. 3 MEASURE IMPACT 3 Measure and hold myself accountable for REPORTS the impact of my work on others.
ME THE MOST IMPORTANT MOVE ME ME NOTICE: The most important move is to do what we are waiting for the other to do. When we’re inward, what do we feel might be put at risk by making the most important move?
tweeks@arbinger.com
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