7/28/19 WHO AND WHY ? Who? • Kellie Cassidy – Clinical Psychologist • Karri Stewart – Clinical Psychologist Why? • Passion for seeing children flourish and thrive • Desire for every child to have the opportunity to live the best life possible • Prevention of Mental Illness Cassidy Psychology July 2019 1
7/28/19 WHAT IS RESILIENCE? Bouncing back with optimism Being flexible about how we see things Being able to cope when things go wrong Willing to take risks Taking Action Knowing when to keep going Knowing when to ask for help Resilience is not the absence of distress or difficulty. Resilience is the ability to adapt and grow following adversity. Boundin – Youtube Clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WyR4AqRweY 2
7/28/19 BOUNCE FORWARD, NOT JUST BACK Resilience is not just about coming back to the same position as before More recent research teaches us that when we bounce back from adversity we also need to bounce forward Bouncing forward may require learning new skills, reflecting on past mistakes, planning for the future WHY RESILIENCE MATTERS Resilient children are more likely to: - have better school results - have less physical health problems - reduce risk of mental health problems - better quality relationships Generally research indicates that resilient children are more likely to succeed in life 3
7/28/19 SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR Children who lack resilience may display some of the following: • low self-confidence • difficulty managing their feelings • sensitive and struggle when • easily stressed or things do not go to plan overwhelmed • avoiding things • sore losers • give up easily • think negatively about • unable to talk or reflect on themselves and/or the world feelings RESILIENCE CAN BE CHANGED/IMPROVED Whilst some people are born with a greater propensity for resilience, the good news is that it can be fostered and developed. Resilience is not an inherent skill. It can be affected by life events. 4
7/28/19 WHAT CAN PARENTS DO? 1. Teach skills children need for success 2. Teach children to manage their feelings 3. Teach problem solving skills and don’t provide all the answers 4. Let kids make mistakes and take risks 5. Ask how questions 6. Model resilience TEACH SKILLS Develop Optimism Develop competence and mastery Develop executive functioning Asking for help Social Development Growth Mindset Gratitude 5
7/28/19 MANAGE FEELINGS Children need to : • Be allowed to experience all emotions • Have their emotions validated • Have skills to manage their emotions • Match their emotion to the size of the problem PROBLEM SOLVE Problem solving is a key skill to developing independence and being successful in life Too often as parents we race in and try and solve problems for our children Guide your children through a problem solving process instead of providing all the answers 1. Identify all possible solutions – no matter how crazy 2. Evaluate each option and select the best one 3. Try it out 4. Head back to step 2 if it didn’t work 6
7/28/19 ALLOW MISTAKES To develop independence we must allow children to make mistakes and learn from these mistakes We can not rescue our children all of the time. We need to learn to tolerate their distress Allow children to take risks and learn from experience Encourage children to face fears with support ASK HOW Asking Why often results in ‘I don’t know’ Instead try and be forward focused and ask a how question How did you decide to do X? How can be fix this problem now? How will you do things differently in the future? 7
7/28/19 NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS Social relationships are crucial to developing resilience Provide unconditional love Research tells us that it’s not rugged self-reliance, determination or inner strength that leads kids through adversity, but the reliable presence of at least one supportive relationship Coping skills can be developed through our relationships with others MODEL IT! Children learn from watching Make it explicit what you are doing to cope when things go wrong Talk out loud: Using positive self-talk and self-encouragement e.g. I can get through this Expressing thoughts and feelings and not pushing strong/difficult feelings away Using strategies to manage our emotions (e.g. breathing, relaxation, physical activity) Demonstrating perseverance Exercise: Think of a time you have been resilient 8
7/28/19 Think of a time in your life that was challenging: What was your goal? What was the outcome? What obstacles did you have to overcome? What unpleasant feelings and thoughts do you remember having in the situation? Who, if anyone, did you receive external help and support from? What specific attitudes and skills helped you cope with the situation? How would you rate your resilience in that situation? Why wasn’t it 0%? What strengths and personal qualities helped you? If it wasn’t 100%, how could your resilience be improved during similar situations in the future? Based on your experience how might you advise someone else to cope with a similar situation in the future? BOUNCE BACK! PROGRAM B ad times don’t last. Things always get better. Stay optimistic. O ther people can help if you talk to them. Get a reality • 6 week program check. U nhelpful thinking makes you feel more upset. Think again. • Children age 8-10 N obody is perfect – not you and not others. C oncentrate on the positives (no matter how small) and use • Advantage of being able to laughter. practice with peers and know E verybody experiences sadness, hurt, failure, rejection and that they are not the only ones setbacks sometimes, not just you. They are a normal part of life. Try not to personalise them. B lame fairly. How much of what happened was due to you, to others and to bad luck or circumstances? A ccept what can’t be changed (but try to change what you can change first). C atastrophising exaggerates your worries. Don’t believe the worst possible picture. K eep things in perspective. It’s only part of your life. 9
7/28/19 YOUR TAKE AWAY What is the one thing you have learned today that you can start implementing from this afternoon with your children? Take a moment to think of an answer and how you will action this. RESOURCES Dan Siegal – The Yes Brain Child Martin Seligman – The Optimistic Child Beyond Blue – Building Resilience in Children http://resources.beyondblue.org.au/prism/file?token=BL/1810_A Our Blog - https://cassidypsychology.com/blog/ Our Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/cassidypsychology/ Our Closed Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/flourishthrivelive/ 10
7/28/19 QUESTIONS? CONTACT US Cassidy Psychology Kellie Cassidy & Karri Stewart 10/7 The Esplanade Mt Pleasant 4/259 Bannister Rd Canning Vale Ph: 6381 0071 Email: kellie@cassidypsychology.com www.cassidypsychology.com 11
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