OMR Behaving as though we care about whats meaningful. OMR - - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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OMR Behaving as though we care about whats meaningful. OMR - - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Dec 16, 2023 892 likes •1.11k views

OMR Behaving as though we care about whats meaningful. OMR - Example Daniels mother complains that he elects to spend more time with friends with family, that doesnt meet basic household expectations, that gives the appearance of

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OMR

Behaving as though we care about what’s meaningful.

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OMR - Example

Daniel’s mother complains that he elects to spend more time with friends with family, that doesn’t meet basic household expectations, that gives the appearance of agreement but doesn’t follow through, and that he spends a great deal of time in his room when he’s home. Mother is worried that she’s ‘losing her son’. Daniel complains that his mom does nothing but criticize - that it’s ‘her way or the highway.’ His experience is that no matter what he does, his mother

  • nly seems to think ‘the glass is half empty.’
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OMR

a strategy for getting to what’s meaningful

Observing (What?) Making Meaning (So What?) Responding (Now What?)

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OMR - Self-Compassion

Observing What?

  • What am I noticing about myself

(my thoughts, my words, my body sensations, my posture, my position, my actions.)

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OMR - Self-Compassion

Making Meaning So What?

  • What am I feeling?
  • What do my feelings and actions

suggest about what I’m needing, valuing, caring about, wanting to happen? (ie: needs, values, strengths, goals)

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OMR - Self-Compassion

Responding

Now What?

  • What can I do right now that

improves the conditions around me?

  • What can I ask of myself to better

put my needs, values, strengths into action? (To meet my goal, purpose, aim)

  • What can I ask of others? Am I

ready to hear them say ‘no’?

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OMR - Other-Compassion

Observing What?

  • What am I seeing/hearing the
  • ther person do or say?
  • What are they telling me about

their feelings? (with words or

  • therwise)
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OMR - Other-Compassion

Making Meaning So What?

  • What do I imagine the other person is

feeling?

  • What might this suggest about what the
  • ther person needs, values, wants, and

cares about?

  • What is wise, strong, or ‘able’ about

how they are responding?

  • What meaning might this moment hold

for them?

  • Do I have any points of reference in my

life for these feelings, cares, etc.?

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OMR - Other-Compassion

Responding

Now What?

  • How could I find out if I’ve accurately

understood the other? (remember: what do we really know about the

  • ther’s experience of this from their

perspective?)

  • Am I ready to be wrong?
  • How can I respond in a way that

strengthens the conditions around this relationship and acknowledges the needs, values, etc. this person has?

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Responses to Responses

criticizing withdrawing

Example

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Responses to Responses

criticizing withdrawing

Example

Representing Power

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OMR - Observing

Observing

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OMR - Observing

Observing

criticizing withdrawing

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OMR - Making Meaning

Observing Making Meaning

criticizing withdrawing

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OMR - Making Meaning

Observing Making Meaning

Feelings:

worry, uncertainty, guilt, urgency, anger

Feelings:

Anxiety, fear, exasperation, fatigue, powerlessness, frustration

criticizing withdrawing

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OMR - Making Meaning

Observing Making Meaning

Feelings:

worry, uncertainty, guilt, urgency, anger

Feelings:

Anxiety, fear, exasperation, fatigue, powerlessness

Needs/Values/Goals:

acknowledgment, to be heard, to contribute, to be valued, agreement, to be seen as competent

Needs/Values/Goals:

acknowledgment, to be heard, to contribute, to be valued, agreement, to be a good mom

criticizing withdrawing

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OMR - Responding

Observing Making Meaning

Feelings:

worry, uncertainty, guilt, urgency

Feelings:

Anxiety, fear, exasperation, fatigue, powerlessness

Needs/Values/Goals:

acknowledgment, to be heard, to contribute, to be valued, agreement, to be seen as competent

Needs/Values/Goals:

acknowledgment, to be heard, to contribute, to be valued, agreement, to be a good mom

Responding

criticizing withdrawing

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OMR - Responding

Observing Making Meaning

Feelings:

worry, uncertainty, guilt, urgency

Feelings:

Anxiety, fear, exasperation, fatigue, powerlessness

Needs/Values/Goals:

acknowledgment, to be heard, to contribute, to be valued, agreement, to be seen as competent

Needs/Values/Goals:

acknowledgment, to be heard, to contribute, to be valued, agreement, to be a good dad

Responding

Asking son to open up a little, looking for son’s strengths, including son’s ideas, giving space, acknowledging efforts... Asking mom to watch tone

  • f voice/words, asking to

make some independent decisions, participating...

criticizing withdrawing

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OMR - Sample Responses

acknowledging participating giving space stepping up inviting and including son’s ideas

  • ffering

ideas

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Updating Masculinity

  • carrying forward valued aspects of masculinity from

his father (work ethic, independence, determination)

  • leaving behind father’s sense of pain from his own

childhood, unnecessary ‘no pain, no gain’ ideas.

  • updating ‘standing against’ to ‘standing for’ (ie:

values)

  • incorporating ‘caring’, ‘communication’ into a new

version of masculinity.

  • using the gridiron as a place to practice.

Daniel’s Project