[PPT] - Building Resiliency in our Children Beth Hayes, D.C.S., C. Psych. PowerPoint Presentation

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Building Resiliency in our Children

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Goals of presentation

What is resiliency? Why is resiliency important to develop in children? Research-based factors associated with developing resilient mindset in children/adolescents. These concepts are not new and for the most part are things parents are already doing. However, there are times when we run into difficult situations and are looking for new

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Resiliency Factors

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What is Resiliency?

Resilience may be understood as the capacity of a child to deal effectively with stress and pressure, to cope with everyday challenges, to rebound from disappointments, mistakes, trauma, and adversity, to develop clear and realistic goals, to solve problems, to interact comfortably with

respect and dignity (Brooks & Goldstein, 2001)

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Why is Resiliency Important to Develop in Children?

course of their development

satisfaction in their future lives

in the process of parenting every child whether that child has been burdened by adversity or not

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Dreams and Expectations

Think back to a time B.C. (Before Children) or (Before Chaos) Thoughts, feelings, concerns? What kind of parent did you envision being?

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Temperament

Research indicates that children are born with a set of temperamental traits which affect the way their personalities develop. We need to understand our children’s unique temperamental traits in order to help them develop a resilient mindset.

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Temperament

assumed that all babies were the same

Thomas) revealed 3 distinct temperaments in infants

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9 Temperamental Traits

More recent research has identified 9 different traits as referenced in ‘See Kids can Cope’ booklet

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Temperament

match

mismatch

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Strong Relationships

at least one caring adult

that you both enjoy

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Teaching and Conveying Empathy

vicariously experience the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others”

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Guidelines to becoming an empathic parent

effective communication

child, or being indecisive

childhood

with your mother; father

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Communication

8 Steps to improve communication

language

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Communication

Do our messages build our children up or do they “chip away at them”?

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Changing the Words (rewriting the script)

apply the same approach with their children for weeks months, or years even when the approach has proven ineffective

if their children are to change theirs

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Nurturing Islands of Competence

least one or two areas that are valued by them and others

interests

competence, they are more willing to confront those areas that have been problematic for them

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Mistakes are Experience to Learn From

handling mistakes

teachable moments

their children and not set the bar too high or too low

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Developing Responsibility, Compassion, and a Social Conscience

reinforces several key characteristics of a resilient mindset including empathy, a sense of satisfaction in the positive impact of one’s behaviours, a more confident outlook as islands of competence are displayed, and the use of problem-solving skills

than ‘remember to do your chores’

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Making Decisions and Problem-Solving

problems, consider different solutions, attempt what they judge to be the most appropriate solution and learn from the outcome

consider different possible solutions

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Self-Discipline and Self-Worth

to ensure a safe and secure environment in which children understand and can define rules, limits, and consequences, and (b) to reinforce self-displine and self-control so that children incorporate these rules and apply them even when parents are not present

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consequences

powerful forms of discipline

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Hope and Optimism

their lives and their problems with a positive attitude.

the face of challenges

(gently)

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Resiliency for parents Resiliency is important for parents too. How?

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Resources Books by Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein: Nurturing in Our Children: Answers to the Most Important Parenting Questions (2003) Raising Resilient Children (2002) *Raising a Self-Discipline Child: Help Your Child Become More Responsible, Confident, and Resilient (2007)

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Resources

www.psychologyfoundation.org Kids Can Cope: Parenting Resilient Children at Home and at School www.kidshavestresstoo.org www.aboutkidshealth.ca 10 Tips for Raising Resilient Kids by Margarita Tartakovsky (Handout)