All of humanitys problems stem from the inability to sit quietly - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

All of humanity’s problems stem from the inability to sit quietly in a room alone. - P a s c a l

GRIEF An innate, automatic healing process which occurs in the human mind and body in response to loss

1 . D eath of a loved on e 2 . D ivor ce or br eak up 3 . T r auma (de f i n e d on n e xt s li de ) Common 4 . D iag n osis of ch r on ic or ter min al disease experiences 5. ‘ L oss’ of ch ildh ood (at t ac h me n t t rauma) that most 6. S cr atch on a n ew car (n ot i n t e n de d as f li ppan t , t o h e lp e s t abli s h de f i n i t i on of people GRIEVE gri e f ) in their lifetime 7 . O n g oin g an d multi -sour ce loss, th r eat of loss, an d disr uption t o f oun dat i on al as pe c t s of i n t e rn al an d e xt e rn al s upport , be lon gi n g, an d/or s e n s e of s e lf (i .e ., c urre n t worldwi de v i ral pan de mi c we kn ow as COV ID - 19)

TRAUMA Life experiences which cause fear, pain, hurt, loss, shame, and other emotions which, if left unacknowledged or unhealed, may create a variety of symptoms which disrupt our psychological, physical, mental and relational well being and functioning.

1. I either am or perceive that I am HELPLESS 2. The experience felt Commonalities of OVERWHELMING and often TRAUMATIC UNEXPECTED; at times it experiences that felt “uncontrollable” may have deep, 3. I either am or perceive that lasting impact I am UNDER THREAT (literal life or death, and/or my emotional, physical, or psycho- logical security and safety)

Much human struggle, as well as physical and mental illness, comes from unprocessed and unhealed grief, trauma, and loss Just as there is an innate process in the body that heals a broken bone, there is one for emotional brokenness, called Grief

§ Disorientation SHOCK § Numbing SHOCK § ‘Surreal’ § ‘Lost’ (protection) § DENIAL Sudden re-awareness BARGAINING GUILT SADNESS ANGER ACCEPTANCE

§ Knowing, but not knowing SHOCK § As-if behavior DENIAL § Business as usual (deeper protection) § Won’t apply to me DENIAL § It’s not happening BARGAINING GUILT SADNESS ANGER ACCEPTANCE

§ Attempt to control § If, then SHOCK § If I watch enough news… BARGAINING § If I don’t watch the news… (undoing) § If I take Vitamin C… DENIAL § If I’m not 65, diabetic, and… § If I go to church… BARGAINING GUILT SADNESS ANGER ACCEPTANCE

§ “If only” § Attempt to control SHOCK retroactively GUILT § Finding the culprit § Purpose: accepting my PART (if it applies) DENIAL § Becoming wiser § Accepting powerlessness (and changing/doing what I can) BARGAINING GUILT SADNESS ANGER ACCEPTANCE

§ From thinking to feeling § Comes in waves SHOCK § The meaning of tears SADNESS § Giving up the fight (Sorrow and Mourning) § Allows connecting to others through loss and shared DENIAL vulnerability § Acknowledging what we miss, value, and are grateful for BARGAINING GUILT SADNESS ANGER ACCEPTANCE

§ Urge to take action § Begin the change; SHOCK empowerment ANGER § Self-preservation and protecting what is mine § Can become depression, DENIAL § Displaced clarity, sorting out § Willingness to see reality and do what is necessary BARGAINING GUILT SADNESS ANGER ACCEPTANCE

§ Sense of peace § Less urge to “move on” SHOCK § This is what is ACCEPTANCE § Awareness of wisdom § Desire to help others DENIAL BARGAINING GUILT SADNESS ANGER ACCEPTANCE

GRIEVING EFFECTIVELY What is necessary to grieve (heal) effectively?

VALIDATION ü need from self and others ü may be painful 1 ü finding connection through others who have or are experiencing the same VALIDATION ü I had it and survived ü I lost a loved one ü I’m an “essential worker” ü I am (or was) on the front lines too

2 PHYSICAL SAFETY ü basic needs secured ü utilizing PPE PHYSICAL ü absence of physical SAFETY threat

EMOTIONAL SAFETY 3 ü others who allow all our feelings ü autonomic nervous EMOTIONAL system ‘knows’ safety SAFETY ü being safe with ourselves; can I trust ‘that person’ (me)

4 TIME ü necessary, but not TIME enough

5 SHARING OUR PAIN WITH OTHERS SHARING ü strength through OUR PAIN vulnerability

REMOVING BLOCKS 6 ü proactive growth ü self-care REMOVING ü addictions BLOCKS ü self-destructive habits and behaviors

ABNORMAL GRIEF The other option – a hamster wheel that is ongoing, endless, circular, and manifests symptoms of illness, poor sleep, and enactment behaviors

3 . D E S P A I R 1 . P R O T E S T § D e p r e s s i o n § D e n i a l o f l o s s o r § H o p e l e s s n e s s v u l n e r a b i l i t y § L o o k s l i k e a n g e r , b l a m e , § L e t h a r g y h o s t i l i t y , s e p a r a t i o n § S e n s e o f h e l p l e s s n e s s § C y n i c i s m / n e g a t i v i t y § ” Y e a h , b u t … ” ABNORMAL 2 . P I N I N G § W a n d e r i n g GRIEF § A t t e m p t t o “ f i l l u p ” f r o m s o m e t h i n g o u t s i d e 4 . D E T A C H M E N T - N U M B I N G § C a n ’ t g e t e n o u g h o f w h a t § L i f e l e s s n e s s y o u d o n ’ t n e e d § C a n ’ t i n i t i a t e a c t i o n § C o n s u m i n g , a c q u i r i n g , § L a c k o f M o t i v a t i o n h o a r d i n g § C o m p u l s i v e b e h a v i o r s § I s o l a t i o n

QUESTIONS?