Welcome to � The School of Daring to Suck Lesson Four: Daring to Feel How to feel your emotions with confidence, freedom and safety Keri-Anne Livingstone 2017
CHECK IN • What are you thinking? • What are you feeling? • BELOW THE NECK LIVING • What would you love to walk away with?
How it will roll… • Group “gut check” � • What do I mean Daring to FEEL? � • Why we don’t allow. � • When we don’t allow. � • When we do allow. � • What we do to allow. � • How we allow.
Step 4: Daring to Feel
To Explore, Experience, Express, Expand � (and be Educated by) your FEELINGS.
Attitudes, behaviours and judgements …
Why some STUFF, AVOID or WITHHOLD feelings can include…. � � • I was taught NOT to or saw TOO much and didn’t want to be THAT. • Too tired to feel and just go round in circles in my head about what I feel • I don’t trust them (wild, unpredictable, unknown) • They’re feel wild, too big, a problem, inconvenient, messy • I’ll be exposed to misunderstanding, judgement, disapproval and criticism. • I’m afraid if I start, I won’t stop (so don’t open up the can - distrust) • I don’t know how to heal them / fix them or make them go away • I’ll JINX it. If I celebrate too much it will all go away. So I temper them • Be too much, too big or too anything….(my love, my joy, my greatness) • Be embarrassed by the attention • I should have my shit together • I thought I dealt with it already - it’s old • There’s no solution so why bother
The TRUTH If we don’t FEEL it, we can’t HEAL it, � and FREE OURSELF to live fully or move in Life.
What are FEELINGS? • ENERGETIC RESPONSE to how we see and interpret a situation or circumstance • Their nature state is to move � • Emotion = Energy in Motion � • Inherently neutral, we are the vessel • Sensations to inform & educate
When we DON’T feel our feelings…
� Innocently interpret, categorize and judge… Trapped energy = stagnation & suffering Health issues � Distortion Self loathing (betrayal & judgement) Projection � Protection � Distrust Irrational outbursts & Overreactions � Self destruction Imprisoned - no freedom, joy, love or acknowledgment of our inherit value.
They add a RICHNESS, ALIVENESS and COLOUR to what it means to be HUMAN.
What is your RELATIONSHIP with your emotions?
If they knocked on your door how would you receive them? � � As a… close best friend? … an acquaintance you humour but don’t really like? …or the drunk uncle you avoid at holiday parties? � � • What’s your history with them? � • When did things change? � • How do you see / engage with them? � • Do you allow them to exist or be heard? � • Do you make time for them? � • What judgements or assumptions do you hold?
The Old Path Avoid “triggers” • � Defend & Blame • � Go round in circles with them • � think our feelings • intellectualize • attach them to a story • make assumption • throw more logs on fire • � With NO OFF RAMP • � Stuck and going around incircles •
My unexpected discoveries: They have the power to open us up or shut us down . It depends on the relationship, beliefs and perspectives we hold with them. The Observer � � The Victim � � The Bully
The New Path to � Emotional Empowerment & Freedom Energy in = Energy out � All feelings allowed (explain not blame) � Proof of energy (not worth or value) � To truly LET GO � HONOUR the story but FEEL the feelings (sensory) � To process & learn (not to judge the act) � Feeling becomes a spiritual experience � To “give the back” to be received and healed � The ENERGETIC garage sale to make space!
Triggers. Timing. Judgement Am I suppose to feel this all IN the moment? NO. These are your feelings to take responsibility for and explore.
New Agreement Will you make time and space for them? Are you willing to see them or be with them differently - if so, how? What do you need from you & others?
Create safety & support We aren’t meant or built to do this work alone - With you, a trusted friend, coach, therapist
Be Open & Curious What ELSE might they be? What do you sense about how they show up and what’s in behind them?
Tune In. Listen. How does this part of you feel? How does it SEE the situation? What’s it’s experience or perspective?
Name it to Claim it Expanding your emotional vocabulary helps connect your mind to your body. Validates and opens us up more.
Surrender & Witness Honour your BODY, it’s sensations and allow the feelings to be FELT. Physically. And allow it to move.
Pump the brakes as needed You are driving and no need to go ALL IN right away. Dabble - Dip your toe and learn incrementally. Some is better than NONE.
Let go of the story Feel the FEELING & EMOTION - what does it feel like, look like, sound like?
Make room for “weird” Be willing to unleash the feelings and let them breathe. What comes next may surprise you… unchartered territory.
Intuitive Intelligence Sense before Logic. Physical before mental. Heart before head. Tune in to the different dialect - speaks in colours, visions, energy, memories for you to notice and get curious about you can begin to trust it’s Method of Operation.
Get creative & imaginative Metaphors, colours, texture - what does it feel like? What would you compare it to? Allow the metaphor to lead.
Embody & Move Your Body Your body has wisdom - make room for it to help! The bath, music, yoga, dance, art are all helpful.
Ride the Waves Full permission to experience the GRACE of emotional expression. Let the tears fall and become undone
Seek out the Innocence Because it’s there. The needs not met, the desire ignored, the dream unfulfilled
Show up for you Tune in and listen. What wisdom and truth does the WHOLE self have to offer this part of you now, today with all it’s wisdom and experience.
Trust the process It IS predictable. Our emotions ALWAYS carry us to shore if we let them. There is a natural rise and fall. Notice and learn each time to trust the ebbs n’ Flows
Don’t waste the experience. Ask better questions. � What’s here now? � What did I learn? � What are you experiencing as a result?
Lessons Learned • They want to be EXPERIENCED not figured out • Our feelings are Divine Guides and Excavators to deepen the learning AND forward the action • They cannot be avoided or ignored. They don’t go away until we feel them. Once they come in they must have an outlet to be released. • Emotional math - it’s not personal - it’s energetic, biological and spiritual. • De-cluttering makes room for inspiration, wisdom and learning to surface • There is INNOCENCE behind EVERY emotion we have - so LOOK FOR IT. Not to blame but to understand, reconcile and heal. • Listening and Feeling more consistently builds trust in our self. • There is no PERFECT or ONE WAY to do this - trial and learning to learn YOUR emotional navigation system • Writing & Speaking our feelings HEALS and HONOURS our parts in ways you may not realize (He’s writing it down!) • The “shitty” or dark feelings must be LEANED INTO most as the BEST things grow in manure! • We are the ONLY audience needed to feel seen, heard, validated, held and witnessed �
The gifts of feeling • Hurts get HEALED simply by being felt, honoured and released from our body • Peace, movement, relief, clarity, freedom to be unburdened • Connection - Intimacy - Trust - Assurance you have your back • Confidence builds as you understand how your insides work • More room for the emotions that expand us - inspiration, aliveness, intuition, engagement, enthusiasm • Movement and wellness inside and out • When you change the insides, the outsides change as a result. Others feel it. • Stronger intuition and connection to others. • Wisdom to share and teach what we learn from the process. • You become a magnet for more things YOU • Ease, flow, movement, acceptance and allowance. • Being present to all that’s around you • Trust and Openness to Life • You become unstoppable
Take aways & Questions? � What are you aware of now? � � What are you taking away to try or practice?
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