Preparing for your presentation Your story matters. It will inspire - PDF document

Preparing for your presentation Your story matters. It will inspire and educate. As you prepare to share your story with others as a Bellis speaker please keep the following common questions in mind. Adoptive Parents What prompted you to consider adoption to grow your family? • If infertility was part of your experience, how did that journey lead you to • consider adoption (if you are comfortable sharing)? Explain what the home study process was like for you and your family? • If any, was there resistance from your extended family about adoption, if so, • how has that changed since you have adopted your child/children? What is the relationship like (if any) with your child’s/children’s birth parents? • What type of adoption(s) do you have: open, closed, international, domestic, • family, or other? What were any cultural issues you faced if you adopted internationally or • interracially? What are your feelings toward the birth parents of your child/children? • Have there been any unexpected outcomes related to your adoption • experiences, either positive or negative, that you would like to share? What was it like to meet the birth parents of your child, if you could do so? If you • have not met the birth parents, what would you tell them if you could meet them? What is your plan for telling your child/children about their adoption story? If • you have more than one adopted child and the level of openness is different with the birth parents of the children, has there been any discussion as to how to manage those differences? How does or do your child/children feel about being adopted, if they are old • enough to communicate that to you? If you have biological children, what are their thoughts about having adopted • siblings? What has helped you the most as you have walked through the process of • building your family through adoption? What one thing (if you can pick only one) did you learn about yourself through • the process of adoption? Would you encourage others to adopt? • What else would you like the listeners to know about adoption? •

Adopted Persons How do you feel about your birth parent's decision to make an adoption plan for • your life? If you know your birth parents, did you ever feel like you were "betraying" your • adoptive parents by having a relationship with them? As an adult adoptee, were there other adopted children in your family? If so, • were the adoptions all the same in terms of openness? If not, were there conflicts in your family because one child had more contact with a birth family than another? If you were adopted later in life, what were some of the challenges you faced in • bonding with your adoptive family? If you were adopted trans-racially, how do you feel about not being raised by a • same race family? Did you ever wish you were not adopted? • If you don't know your birth parents, what would you say to them if you could • meet them? As an adopted adult, would you consider building your family through adoption? • If you have a closed adoption, did you have any medical questions growing up • that you could not answer? If there were biological and adopted children in your adopted family, as an • adopted child, did you feel you were treated any differently than the biological children? If you are a parent now, do your children know you are adopted? How did they • respond to the news? Did you experience any bullying as a child around being adopted? • What advice would you have for a birth parent that might be fearful about how • his/her child feels toward his/her adoption plan? If you were adopted internationally have you visited your birth country? • If not, would you like to visit? • How often would you say you think about being adopted now that you are an • adult? What else would you like the listeners to know about adoption? • Birth Parents Describe what led you to be in your pregnancy related situation. • How did your family/ partner respond to the news of the pregnancy? • What were you thinking when you discovered that you were pregnant and how • did you come to consider the option of adoption? How did you begin your process of looking for an agency/lawyer to help you with • your adoption plan? What responses did you receive from friends, family, others when you informed • them of your decision to make an adoption plan for your child?

When you chose adoption, what type of adoption did you choose (open, semi- • open, closed, family) and what drew you to that type of adoption? Explain what the process of choosing a family for your child was like for you? • Who did you include in that process (family, birth father, friends?) If any, was there resistance from your extended family about adoption, if so, • how has that changed since you have completed your adoption plan? If you have not met the adoptive parents of your child, what would you like to • tell them if you could meet them? If you have an open adoption, what is the relationship like (if any) with your • child’s/children’s adoptive parents and what are your feelings toward the adoptive parents of your child/children? How did you handle your birth experience and, if any, what involvement did the • adoptive family have in that process? What type of ongoing contact (pictures, letters, personal visits, etc.) do you have • with your child and how do those contacts make you feel (positive, negative, mixed?) Have there been any unexpected outcomes related to your adoption • experiences, either positive or negative, that you would like to share? What has helped you the most in working through any grief or loss issues related • to your adoption experience? What one thing (if you can pick only one) did you learn about yourself through • the process of adoption? Have you ever regretted your decision to make an adoption plan for your child? • Would you encourage other birth parents to consider the option of adoption if • they are faced with a challenging pregnancy situation? What else would you like the listeners to know about adoption? • If you have any questions, ideas or concerns, please contact our Outreach Coordinator, Pam Hulstrand at 612-741-6613 or at pam@mybellis.org.