Parentline Rita O’Reilly CEO
is a national, confidential helpline for parents, guardians and professionals. Information, guidance and support
From Local Parent Support Groups to National Helpline
Funded by Tusla One part-time paid employee 48 trained volunteer facilitators Deal with more than 3,000 parents per year More than 100,000 in our lifetime
Parentline is a barometer of what is going on for parents in Ireland
Top 10 reasons for calls 2015 Teenage Issues 8% Stress Anger/Aggression 12% 24% Self Esteem 5% Bullying 6% School/Work Issues 9% Child Abusing Parents 8% Marriage Depression Breakdown (Parent) 9% Drugs 7% Loneliness (Child) 6% 6%
Together ‘Child abusing parent’ and ‘Anger and aggression’ = 32% of calls
Response to increase in ‘Child is abusing Parents’ and ‘Anger and Aggression’ No n Violent Resista nce Pro g ra mme ( NVR )
Non-Violent Resistance Programme “Evidence based support for parents which is changing lives for the better around the country”
NVR A practical tool Empowers the parent Can be used in many situations
Trained a team of facilitators to deliver NVR Programme Offer NVR programme face to face and over the phone Delivered on a one to one basis NVR training is useful for a wide range of calls
The Core Elements of NVR Programme “No excuse for abuse”
The Core Elements of NVR Programme Commitment De – escalation skills Increasing parental presence Stepping out of secrecy – the supporter network Family announcement Refusal of orders, service strike, Reconciliation Steps – drawing out positive aspects of child’s personality
How NVR Works – in practical terms Parent calls Parentline Facilitator – assesses the call If appropriate will suggest NVR Explains the process – what the parent can expect Admin will set up appointments Parent will come to Parentline office or we will call the parent at an agreed time once per week Programme will run for as long as parents wants Parentline is there for parent in future if needed
NVR - practical Session 1 Explain the process Set goals Commitment De-escalation skills
NVR - practical Session 2 Review previous session Support network Externalise the problem
NVR - practical Session 3 Increase parental presence
NVR - practical Session 4 Family Announcement “ No more violence in this house ”
NVR - practical Session 5 Refusing orders Service strike
NVR - practical Session 6 Acts of reconciliation
NVR - practical Session 7 Review meeting Programme end Parentline is always there
Scenarios
Social Worker in A&E Mother in hospital as a result of daughter’s violence toward her Mother feeling completely hopeless
Young mother and father Children 13 and 16 years old Eldest child very aggressive
What does the parent say!
“what will become of my child as he grows older” “I (mother) cry every time he insults me” “it is not right for this boy to think it is ok to treat women like this”
“he has not physically attacked my but I live in fear that he will” “ I am afraid of him. I don’t want my partner involved - he is not his father and things could become more difficult”
“he is verbally abusive to me and his sisters and throws furniture around inside the house” “I am only 5ft.2. He is over 6 ft. I am afraid”
What does the Parentline facilitator say!
“what struck me was the amount of sympathy mother had for her son - and how she was prepared to accept his unacceptable behaviour because she felt guilty that her relationship with his father broke down”
“I can’t imagine how difficult her life is having to deal with that level of violence and aggression” “When I started in Parentline we were concerned about the child’s safety, now we are concerned about the parent”
What does the parents say?
After NVR programme “I saw a difference after one session” “It’s good to know I am not alone” “My home is a happier place”
1890 927 277/ 01 8733500 www.parentline.ie Opening hours: 10am-9pm Monday to Thursday and 10am-4pm Friday Thank you…
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