Negotiation & Conflict Resolution Seth Dailey, Baltimore, MD - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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Negotiation & Conflict Resolution Seth Dailey, Baltimore, MD - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Oct 30, 2023 123 likes •610 views

Negotiation & Conflict Resolution Seth Dailey, Baltimore, MD @RESuccessRocks Here is whats so Not Scripting Class Its not fast food content; youre going to have to chew on this. Its a focus on the WHY and the

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@RESuccessRocks

Negotiation & Conflict Resolution

Seth Dailey, Baltimore, MD

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@RESuccessRocks

Here is “what’s so”

  • Not Scripting Class
  • It’s not fast food content; you’re going to have to chew on this.
  • It’s a focus on the WHY and the HOW of communication, not

the “WHAT to say”

  • It MIGHT be new, and might not. It’s like explaining how a

light switch works.

  • This is a class for our hearts and soul: As we understand it at

a deeper level, we can become even more masterful at it.

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Here’s what we’ll cover:

  • 1. The Conversation IS the Relationship
  • 2. What Happened vs. Story
  • 3. Transformative Mediation:

Empowerment and Recognition

  • 4. Commitment vs. Attachment:

Our Posture in Communication

  • 5. Unitive Triangling
  • 6. Levels of Relationship
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Fierce Conversations: One Conversation at a Time

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“How did you go bankrupt? Gradually, then suddenly” —Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises “Remember that what gets talked about and how it gets talked about determines what will happen. Or won't happen. And that we succeed or fail, gradually then suddenly, one conversation at a time.” —Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations

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Stories & Reality

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Stories & Reality

SOMETHING HAPPENED THE STORY CREATED

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When does emotion enter?

SOMETHING HAPPENED THE STORY CREATED Time

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When does emotion enter?

SOMETHING HAPPENED THE STORY CREATED 1 4 2 3 5

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So, what if you don’t like the emotion?

WHAT HAPPENED THE STORY CREATED Time

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WHOSE Story is it?

WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT IS THE STORY THAT I CREATED (WHAT DID I MAKE IT MEAN)

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Brené Brown-Rising Strong

WHAT HAPPENED THE STORY

I

CREATED

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Own the Story

The Story I”m making up about… (This event) Puts our _____________ at risk

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LOUISE PHIPPS SENFT

What is Conflict in Negotiation?

A Crisis in Communication, not a problem to be solved

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Transformative Mediation

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Crisis in Communication:

Destructive Spiraling

  • You view yourself as victim

and the Other as oppressor-

Credit: Louise Phipps Senft - Being Relational

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You feel weakness

  • Losing control
  • Confused about options
  • You don’t know how to respond
  • You question your abilities
  • Losing confidence and hope

Credit: Louise Phipps Senft - Being Relational

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You become self absorbed

  • You are suspicious
  • Make assumptions about motives
  • You guard and protect against a

perceived threat

  • Shut down curiosity, closed-mindedness
  • Focused on own sufferings, unable to

consider the other’s perspective

Credit: Louise Phipps Senft - Being Relational

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Has this ever been your client, your team member, or yourself?

Credit: Louise Phipps Senft - Being Relational

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The Good News: People have the capacity to move back into their sense of personal strength or self confidence The Empowerment Shift is achieved when disputing parties experience a strengthened awareness of their own self-worth and their own ability to deal with whatever difficulties they face regardless

  • f external constraints.

The Promise: As I grow stronger, I’m more able to

  • ffer recognition”

Credit: Louise Phipps Senft - Being Relational

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More Good News: People have the capacity to move back into their sense of openness or responsiveness to the other The Recognition Shift is achieved when, given some degree of empowerment, disputing parties experience an expanded willingness to acknowledge and be responsive to other parities The Promise: “As I give recognition, I tend to feel stronger.”

Credit: Louise Phipps Senft - Being Relational

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As I grow stronger, I’m more able to

  • ffer recognition”

“As I give recognition, I tend to feel stronger.”

Credit: Louise Phipps Senft - Being Relational

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Recognition

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Empowerment

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Empowering our Clients

From: Self-protective, defensive, suspicious, incapable of stepping out of their own frame AND unsettled, confused, fearful, disorganized, unsure To: More attentive to others, more open, more willing to accept others good faith, more able to see others’

  • perspective. AND calmer, clearer, more confident,

more focused, more decisive.

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Empowering Our Clients

You can’t force recognition, so focus on empowerment

  • Goals
  • Options
  • Skills
  • Resources
  • Decision Making
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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com Contract Negotiations BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement) Inspection / Condition Issues & Financing Delays “You have several options” Humanizing the clients “My sellers” vs. “John and Mary” Prospecting / Cold Calling “I”m just here to be a resource” Buyer / Seller Consults “There are a few outcomes from today’s meeting”

  • Goals
  • Options
  • Skills
  • Resources
  • Decision Making

Empowering Our Clients

You can’t force recognition, so focus on empowerment

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@RESuccessRocks

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com Control the Process, not the Decisions Knowledge is Power; Clarity is Power

Empowering Our Clients

You can’t force recognition, so focus on empowerment

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Your Posture in Conversation

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Your Posture in Conversation

Fixing / Surviving vs. Creating / Generating Commitment vs. Attachment

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

ASK YOURSELF: Am I trying to FIX / SURVIVE in this conversation?

Protecting Controlling Avoiding Defending Forcing an outcome Manipulating Resisting Convincing Changing Withholding

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

  • Giving things up
  • Forgiving
  • Accepting
  • Dancing in the

Conversation

  • Being of Service
  • Bringing

Everything AND Nothing to the conversation

An Alternative: Live in Generosity and Possibility

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Be a Stand for What is Possible Be committed (to a possibility) Not attached (to the outcome)

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Levels of Communication

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Levels of Communication

JOB / ROLE CARING / COMPASSIONATE EXPERT DREAM MANAGER COACH

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Watch out for Triangling!

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Triangling Two Responses

  • 1. Join, Align, Inflame
  • 2. Defend, Counter, Dismiss
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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Unitive Triangling

  • 1. Listen
  • 2. Reflect
  • 3. Ask Open Ended

Questions

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Reflective Listening (Reflection) Reflecting is when you mirror back to the speaker what you believe the speaker just expressed, using language close to the speakers own. A good reflection captures both the substance and the emotional tone of what the speaker has said, without parroting (L Phipps Senft)

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Reflection: Reflection allows the speaker to hear himself Helps the speaker make empowerment shifts:

  • 1. to get “on the record”
  • 2. To “get clear” by “listening to himself”
  • 3. to deliberate and choose to edit, modify and

clarify comments. Helps the speaker make recognition shifts by: Allowing the speaker to hear when he as “gone to far” and reconsider and retract negative comments.

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Q&A

Seth Dailey Keller Williams Gateway Baltimore, Maryland seth@thedaileygroup.com 443-738-5588

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Responsibility: Not like blame or credit. It is the willingness to be cause in the matter. “I’m responsible” is not a fact. It is a stand. 100% you, 0% them. If you can be cause of the matter, then you can be cause of the solution.

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Generosity: To give something up when you don’t have to. Includes real forgiveness. Becomes about contributing to

  • thers when it isn’t earned. Space

where the miraculous can happen.

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

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Seth Dailey www.thedaileygroup.com

Questions to Ask

  • 1. What have I been

hiding or pretending…