Name of material: Courtesy Lessons Image(s): Video : Point(s) of - - PDF document

Name of material:

Courtesy Lessons

Image(s): Video: Point(s) of interest: Primary purpose:

Main objective To introduce the conventions and language associated with social courtesy.

Secondary purposes

Incidental benefits Promotion of verbal language skills. Promotion of independence and self-control.

Control of error:

The Courtesy lessons are a social experience and, as such, the child’s community acts as an abstract control of error. When a child attempts to employ courtesy skills the reaction of his/her peers will provide a natural self-correcting mechanism. Positive responses reinforce the correct use of courtesy strategies, whereas negative responses indicate that a less than courteous strategy was employed. EYLF Outcome 1.2: Children develop their emerging autonomy, inter-dependence, resilience and sense of agency and 1.4: Children learn to interact in relation to

• thers with care, empathy and respect by interpreting feedback from peers rather than

relying on constant intervention from an adult.

Presentation:

Please ¡note: ¡Montessori ¡presentations ¡will ¡vary ¡slightly ¡according ¡to ¡the ¡specific ¡training ¡ institute, ¡Album ¡or ¡educator’s ¡experience. ¡The ¡following ¡outline ¡is ¡intended ¡as ¡a ¡guide ¡and ¡ highlights ¡important ¡points/procedures. ¡Educators ¡should ¡build ¡on ¡this ¡from ¡their ¡own ¡ experience ¡and ¡their ¡understanding ¡of ¡the ¡children ¡in ¡their ¡care, ¡so ¡that ¡all ¡presentations ¡will ¡ have ¡some ¡universal ¡similarities ¡but ¡no ¡two ¡will ¡be ¡completely ¡identical ¡because ¡of ¡the ¡unique ¡ needs ¡of ¡the ¡child, ¡cultural ¡context ¡of ¡the ¡school ¡and ¡interactions ¡between ¡educator ¡and ¡

• student. ¡

Preparation:

• The Courtesy presentations tend to be given spontaneously, when a child is

naturally in the situation that requires the particular courtesy convention/language.

• The Courtesy lessons are presented either as role modelling or as subtle
• scaffolding. The exact ‘lesson’ and structure will depend on the individual child and

the context. In this way the educator is showing responsiveness to children.

• The lessons below offer suggested frameworks for the interventions but should be

adapted/extended as needed. Lesson 1: Initiating Conversation “Excuse me”

• The educator observes a child attempting to initiate contact with another child in an

ineffective manner (eg. interfering with the other child’s work to try to get attention).

• The educator approaches the child and observes, “It looks like you’re interested in

interacting with…(name of other child).” If the child confirms that he/she would like to engage with a peer the educator continues with the presentation. (If the child indicates a different need the educator responds to that accordingly.)

• The educator suggests, “When I need someone’s attention I start by saying excuse

me and I use their name. You could try saying, ‘excuse me, (name of other child)’.”

• The child may attempt this introduction. If the child does not attempt the language

then the educator might conclude by saying, “Perhaps the next time you need someone’s attention you can say ‘Excuse me’.” Introductions

• The educator observes a child attempting to initiate contact with a new/unfamiliar

child (that is, a child he/she has not met before or does not know well) in an ineffective manner (eg. interfering with the other child’s work to try to get attention).

• The educator approaches the child and observes, “It looks like you’re interested in

meeting (name of other child).” If the child confirms that he/she would like to engage with a peer the educator continues with the presentation. (If the child indicates a different need the educator responds to that accordingly.)

• The educator suggests, “When I meet a new person I start by introducing myself. I

say ‘Hello, my name is (educator’s name). What is your name?’ and I offer my right hand for a handshake. Shall we practise that together?”

• The child can attempt the introduction first with the educator, sharing names and

then shaking hands.

• The educator says, “After I learn a new person’s name I usually say ‘It’s nice to

meet you’ and then if I want to spend more time with them I ask a question like ‘May I join your activity?’ Shall we try that together?”

• The child can practise the second part of the introduction with the educator,

acknowledging the meeting and then initiating further interaction.

• The educator asks, “Would you like to practise again with me, or are you ready to

introduce yourself to your new friend?” Lesson 2: Using polite language/manners in conversation “Please”

• The educator observes a child requesting an object, favour or opportunity without

expressing gratitude.

• The educator approaches the child (or responds directly if the child is talking to the

educator) and observes, “When you are asking somebody for an

• bject/favour/opportunity it is nice to use the word “please”. It makes the other

person feel respected and they are more likely to help you.”

• The educator then models the sentence specific to the situation and then invites the

child to try.

• The child attempts this language, with the educator observing and scaffolding as

needed. “Thank you”

• The educator observes a child receiving an object, favour or opportunity without

expressing gratitude.

• The educator approaches the child (or responds directly if the child is talking to the

educator) and observes, “You just received (object/favour/opportunity). When somebody gives you something it is nice to say ‘thank you’ afterwards. You can try saying ‘Thank you’.” (Vary the language as needed to suit the context, eg. “When somebody helps you it is nice to say ‘thank you’ afterwards.”)

• The child attempts this language, with the educator observing and scaffolding as

needed. “May I?”

• The educator observes a child expressing a desire/request with impolite language

(such as “I want it!” or “Give me that!”)

• The educator approaches the child (or responds directly if the child is talking to the

educator) and observes, “It sounds like you are trying to ask for (object/activity/opportunity). May I show you a more polite way of asking?”

• If the child confirms that he/she is interested in the object/activity/opportunity

identified by the educator then the educator continues.

• The educator explains, “When I need to ask someone for something I start with,

‘May I please…?’ It’s a really nice way of asking and it makes the other person feel respected so they are more likely to help me. So if you need the (object/activity/opportunity) then you could say ‘May I please have the (object/activity/opportunity)?’ to the other person.

• The child attempts this language, with the educator observing and scaffolding as

needed. Lesson 3: Waiting patiently

• The educator observes a child interrupting another person, or attempting to take

something from another child.

• The educator approaches the child and observes, “It looks like you would like to use

(object/activity) but (other child’s name) is using it right now.” If the first child confirms that he/she does want to use the object/activity then the educator proceeds.

• The educator reiterates, “(Other child’s name) is using this at the moment, so you

will need to wait for a little while. First you can ask your friend to tell you when they are finished, and then we will find something for you to do while you are waiting. You could say to your friend, ‘Will you please tell me when it is my turn to use it?’.”

• The child attempts this language, with the educator observing and scaffolding as

needed.

• The educator acknowledges the interaction and reassures the child by saying, “Now

your friend will tell you when it is time for you to use the (object/activity). Waiting will feel easier and quicker if you are doing something interesting while you wait. What would you like to choose while you wait?”

• The child chooses an interim task (or the educator suggests one) and the educator

monitors the situation to ensure that the second child does remember to approach his/her peer. Lesson 4: Respecting the work of others Showing respect for another child’s activity

• The educator observes a child interrupting another person, or attempting to take

something from another child or being disruptive to another person’s work.

• The educator approaches the child to say, “(Other child’s name) is working with this

material at the moment. Are you waiting for a turn or asking to join in?”

• If the child responds that he/she is waiting for a turn then the educator returns to the

‘Waiting patiently’ Courtesy lesson.

• If the child responds that he/she wishes to join in then the educator utilises the ‘May

I please…’ Courtesy lesson. If the second child refuses the child’s request then the educator helps the first child with the ‘Waiting Patiently’ lesson.

• If the child expresses that he/she is not waiting for a turn or wanting to join in then

the educator must interpret the behaviour in another way (eg. is the child being disruptive because he/she is bored, because he/she would like social attention etc).

• The educator reinforces the rights of the other children while responding to the

needs of the first child by saying, “(Other child’s name) has the right to use this material safely without interrupting so we are going to step away from him/her. I will help you find a material that will be just as interesting for you.” Walking around floor mats

• The educator observes a child walking across the top of a floor mat or walking on

top of materials.

• The educator approaches the child and says, “I see that you need to get past this
• work. If you walk over the top the mat or materials might be damaged. They will be

much safer if you walk around the edge.”

• The educator demonstrates how to take careful, deliberate steps around the mat

and invites the child to imitate these movements. If a child (or group of children) have persistent trouble remembering to walk around the mats then a deliberate exercise can be presented of “Walking the Line” around the mat. The child uses the edge of an empty floor mat to practise walking with deliberate heel-to-toe steps around the line, sometimes with the aid of a prop (suc as balancing a bean bag on his/her head or holding a bell without letting it ring). The Walking the Line exercise can add a ‘point of interest’ to inspire the child to willingly and consciously consider their movements in the classroom. Lesson 5: Replacing materials to the shelf

• The educator observes a child leaving a material behind (such as leaving a tray on

a table or leaving a material on the floor mat).

• The educator approaches the child to say, “It looks like you are finished with this
• material. Are you finished or are you still working with it?” The educator responds to

the child’s reply, as detailed below:

• Child’s reply: “I’m still working”

§ If the child is still working with the task, and had just briefly stepped away, the educator may simply respond, “Thank you for explaining, you are welcome to continue.” § If the child is still working with the task, but needs to leave briefly (such as to use the toilet), the educator can reinforce, “Thank you for explaining, you are welcome to leave your work here and it will be safe until you get back.”

• Child’s reply: “I’m finished”

§ The educator explains, “Since you are finished you will need to place the materials back on the shelf. If you leave them on the mat/table then other children will think someone is still using them.” § The educator demonstrates or explains the steps needed to reset and replace the material (eg. If a child is using the Pink Tower cubes the educator may remind him/her, “Please start by taking the largest cube to the shelf.”)

• Child’s reply: “I need a break”

§ If the child needs a prolonged break, but is in the midst of a significant work/project and wishes to return to it in the near future, the educator can help the child with a strategy to preserve his/her work in progress. These strategies can differ but one suggestion is using ‘’Work Saver Cards’ with a picture of the child and his/her name and placing this on the work. This represents the fact that the task is still being used by somebody and is not available for other students to choose. Other strategies may include making a record of the child’s progress and replacing the materials, so that the first child will know where to pick up when he/she returns to the task but other children can use them in the meantime.

Conclusion:

• After the presentation the educator may acknowledge the learning. That is, the

educator may say, “Now you know how to introduce yourself politely, you can do this each time you meet a new friend.”

• If the educator observes the child implementing the new Courtesy strategies

independently then the educator can acknowledge successful attempts (without resorting to praise) by observing, “I noticed that you took great care to walk around the other child’s mat today. Thank you for remembering to show respect for our materials and your friend.” If the child forgets some elements of the process then the educator can scaffold, such as by stating, “I see that you’re wanting to ask for that politely, would you like me to remind you of the polite words you can use?”

Links to the Early Years Learning Framework Outcomes:

Participating in the Courtesy Lessons with an educator and peers helps the child progress towards the following Learning Outcomes; 1.1: Children feel safe secure and supported by having a trusted, respectful adult providing guidance in social situations. 1.4: Children learn to interact in relation to others with care, empathy and respect by learning strategies and language to engage in respectful interactions. 2.3: Children develop a sense of belonging to groups and communities and an understanding of the reciprocal rights and responsibilities necessary for active community participation by having a trusted educator highlight the importance of caring for other members of the classroom community. Revisiting the Courtesy Lessons for independent attempts helps the child progress towards the following Learning Outcomes; 3.1: Children become strong in their social and emotional wellbeing by developing meaningful relationships with peers based on positive social skills. 5.1: Children interact verbally and non-verbally with others for a range of purposes by using positive, effective language conventions and polite vocabulary when interacting with peers.

Observation and assessment for learning:

When the child is working independently the educator can gather and analyse information about what the child knows, can do and understands by observing the following: Indicators of progress;

• The child approaches an educator for help when he/she needs to engage in an

interaction (such as asking “I want to meet a new friend but I don’t remember how.”)

This indicates that the child is conscious of, and eager to follow, courteous procedures but does not quite recall the exact details. The educator can respond by repeating the presentations as many times as the child needs.

• The child initially uses inconsiderate behaviour or impolite language but self-

corrects midway through and tries again with more polite strategies. This suggests that the child comprehends and remembers the Courtesy procedures/language but is still practising these processes and they have not yet become ‘default’ reactions. This child simply requires time and space to continue revising the approaches. Indicators of mastery;

• The child independently and spontaneously uses polite language and courteous

procedures to interact with others and with the classroom environment.

• The child assists peers (particularly younger or less experienced classmates) by

role modelling or actively teaching them the Courtesy lessons. If the child demonstrates the aforementioned skills the educator can engage in intentional teaching by introducing the following lesson. If the child does not yet demonstrate the aforementioned skills the educator can show responsiveness to children by scaffolding the learning by repeating the presentation. If the child still does not acquire the skills once the presentation is repeated then the task should be broken into smaller, discrete steps. If the child still cannot master the skills presented in the discrete steps the educator can support the child’s learning by reverting to the prior lesson. Questions for reflective practice: After presenting this material the educator might ask,

• Are there other theories or knowledge that could help me to understand better what

I have observed or experienced? What are they? How might those theories and that knowledge affect my practice?

• Who is advantaged when I work in this way? Who is disadvantaged?

Extensions/Variations:

Please ¡note: ¡Authentic ¡Montessori ¡environments ¡should ¡ideally ¡utilise ¡the ¡existing ¡materials ¡and ¡ comprehensive ¡curriculum ¡to ¡engage, ¡support ¡and ¡extend ¡the ¡child. ¡Adult-­‑initiated ¡extensions ¡ and ¡variations ¡should, ¡therefore, ¡be ¡viewed ¡with ¡the ¡‘Three ¡C’s ¡– ¡care, ¡context ¡and ¡constraint”. ¡ Extensions ¡and ¡variations ¡should ¡not ¡be ¡introduced ¡for ¡the ¡sake ¡of ¡novelty ¡or ¡presented ¡ universally ¡to ¡all ¡children, ¡but ¡may ¡have ¡their ¡place ¡where ¡it ¡helps ¡to ¡care ¡for ¡a ¡child’s ¡unique ¡ needs, ¡is ¡relevant ¡to ¡the ¡specific ¡context ¡and ¡is ¡constrained ¡by ¡a ¡respect ¡for ¡the ¡original ¡purpose ¡

• f ¡the ¡material. ¡Extensions/variations ¡should ¡never ¡replace ¡the ¡original ¡material ¡or ¡detract ¡from ¡

its ¡purpose. ¡

• If a group, or class, of children seem to all be struggling with a similar Courtesy

concept then the educator may present a group lesson. This could be a direct presentation or could be in the form of a ‘game’ if a non-confrontational point of interest is needed.

• For instance, if the children are struggling to wait patiently for turns with a

material then a group game could be played where each child takes a turn to pass a ball to a friend. In this game the children sit or stand in a circle. The educator asks the child to her left to pick up the ball. The educator explains that she/he will ask for the ball but that the child should play with it for a moment (roll it, throw it up and down in his/her hands) before giving it to her. The educator then models the language, “Excuse me (child’s name), I can see that you’re using the ball. Could you please pass it to me when you’re finished?” The child plays with the ball for a moment while the educator waits

• patiently. When the child passes the ball to the educator the educator replies,

“Thank you!”. The educator then suggests that the child to her right should try asking for a turn with the ball. This pattern is repeated as the ball travels around the circle. Many group games, songs, activities or exercises can be implemented to reinforce a particular Courtesy strategy to a group/class.

Support ¡at ¡home ¡ ¡ Partnerships ¡with ¡families ¡

At this stage in a child’s numeracy development he/she is learning the language and procedures associated with showing courtesy towards others. A parent/relative could reinforce this and support continuity of learning and transitions by;

• Engaging in the ‘Lessons’ outlined above based on observations of their child’s

spontaneous needs/interests (such as scaffolding your child’s interactions with

• ther children in the playground, or responding to a child’s direct communication

with you.)

• Suggesting ‘games’ such as the Extensions/Variations outlined above.
• Role modelling the language, manners and courteous behaviours that you would

like your child to absorb and imitate.

To ¡learn ¡more ¡visit ¡WikiSori ¡