GRIT: R esilience, I ndependence, and T enacity Helping your child - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

G rowing GRIT: R esilience, I ndependence, and T enacity Helping your child develop strength and perseverance both in and out of school MICDS Counseling Team February 20, 2014

“The main characteristic that makes people successful is not their IQ, emotional intelligence, or even creativity. It is their resilience in the face of what seem to be insurmountable obstacles.” -Robert Sternberg GRIT

What is Grit? • The tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward very long-term goals (Angela Duckworth) • Being able to overcome boredom, ambiguity, frustration, and failure (Tom Hoerr) • Central ideas: o Grit is an attitude: it can be taught and learned o Mistakes are valuable lessons o Grit can evolve as a student goes through the stages of development “These factors can have just as strong an influence on academic o performance and professional attainment as intellectual factors” (US Department of Education)

Research • Paul Tough 2012 book: How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character • Angela Duckworth: ACE Scores • 2013 US Dept of Ed report: Promoting Grit, Tenacity and Perseverance: Critical Factors for Success in the 21st Century • 40 Developmental Assets • Mission Skills Assessment at MICDS this year

The Importance of Character “When we raise our kids, we focus on the traits measured by grades and SAT scores. But when it comes to the most important things like character and how to build relationships, we often have nothing to say.” – David Brooks, The New Humanism, NYT, 3/7/2011

Six Steps of Teaching for Grit 1. Establish the environment 2. Set the expectations 3. Teach the vocabulary 4. Create the frustration 5. Monitor the experience 6. Reflect and learn Hoerr, 2013

How Parents Can Enhance Grit • Set “optimally challenging goals” • Let your child fail • Talk with them about how to get through adversity • Let them do or try things on their own • Praise effort over ability • Model self-talk and other strategies you use • Establish a fair and respectful climate • Convey high expectations • Provide necessary tangible resources — materials, human, and time

How Do We Teach Grit? Lower School: • Think about your childhood and your personal difficulties in establishing your own independence. • Don’t let your fears hold your child back. • Nurturing independence is an act of love (Ginsburg). • Focus on personal responsibility and safety. • Don’t wire your children to nonstop entertainment. Let them be bored.

How Do We Teach Grit? Middle School: • Practice possible scenarios. • Give them opportunities to make decisions and experience the outcome (positive and negative). • Teach them to be a self-advocate. • Let them use their voice in working through challenge. “What your brain does a lot of, your brain gets good at.” - David Walsh

How Do We Teach Grit? Upper School: • Remind students that small details result in the larger picture. • Formative feedback, self-reflection and iteration. • Encourage effort and taking risks. • Help students connect self-care to their overall success. • Teach student how to use goal setting as a tool. • “Not everything is quick and easy.”

When Is Grit Development Not Good? • When driven by a fear-based focus on testing and college entry • When the learning environment is not fair and respectful • When resources (human/material/time) aren’t provided to support learning and perseverance • When expectations are not clearly conveyed • When the atmosphere is not completely free from shame and guilt “ The real learning disabilities are shame, fear and believing you can’t. ” - Dr. Ed Hollowell

Resilience • Resilience is not something that you’re either born with or not. • Resilience develops as people grow up and gain better thinking and self-management skills and knowledge. • Resilience also comes from supportive relationships with parents, peers and others, as well as cultural beliefs and traditions that help people cope with the inevitable bumps in life. • Resilience is found in a variety of behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed across the lifespan.

Resilience and Explanatory Style Researchers have found that how people explain their successes and failures influences whether they persevere or give up when faced with adversity. “Explanatory style” can be assessed by looking at 3 dimensions: 1. Personalization: what caused the problem? (me/not me) 2. Permanence: how long will this problem last? (always/not always) 3. Pervasiveness: how much of my life does this problem affect? (everything/not everything) Not me/Not always/Not everything thinking are habits that contribute to optimism and resilience.

7 C’s of Resilience 1. Competence: the ability to handle situations effectively; the idea that “I can do this” 2. Confidence: the solid belief in one’s own abilities 3. Connection: having close ties to family, friends, school, and community 4. Character: a strong, fundamental sense of right and wrong 5. Contribution: understanding what one can give back to the world to make it a better place 6. Coping: developing positive, adaptive strategies for effectively managing stress and challenge 7. Control: the ability to manage the outcomes of one’s decisions and actions Ginsburg, 2011

Willpower Willpower - being in charge of your own time, attention, and energy • A struggle between two sides of yourself. • A way of responding to challenges; a state, not a trait. • Involves making choices that are consistent with your highest values and goals. Kelly McGonigal, Stanford University - Researcher and author of The Willpower Instinct

Willpower Some related factors that influence willpower: • Growth mindset is important. • Shame is one of the most damaging things we can do to brain health and willpower. • Quality of and amount of sleep is a major predictor in our ability to exhibit willpower and make better choices. • 5 minutes of activity resets brains for better focus and mood.

References (books) • Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings, Second Edition by Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD with Martha M. Jablow (2011) • Fostering Grit: How Do I Prepare My Students for the Real World? by Thomas Hoerr (2013) • How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character by Paul Tough (2013) • Letting Go with Love and Confidence by Kenneth Ginsburg, MD (2011) • Mindsets in the Classroom: Building a Culture of Success and Student Achievement in Schools by Mary Cay Ricci (2013)

References (books) • Promoting Grit, Tenacity, and Perseverance: Critical Factors for Success in the 21st Century from US Department of Education (2013) • Raising Resilient Children by Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein (2001) • Smart Parenting, Smarter Kids by David Walsh, PhD (2011) • The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why it Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It by Kelly McGonigal, PhD (2012)

References (websites) Duckworth Lab https://sites.sas.upenn.edu/duckworth • Grit Scales • Parenting Strengths Questionnaire • Other grit and self-control research information 40 Developmental Assets http://www.search- institute.org/content/40-developmental-assets-adolescents- ages-12-18 Parenting for Resilience (mostly aimed at young kids) http://www.reachinginreachingout.com/resources-parents.htm