Differentiated Communication in a guidance role Sue Blair The Plan - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Sue Blair

Differentiated Communication in a guidance role Celebrating Difference

The Plan

• What is Temperament?
• How does this affect our coaching?
• How does this affect our clients?
• What happens when things turn to custard?
• How can we clean up the mess?

Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves?

• Carl Jung

“Make the day worthwhile” “Day-to-day responsibility” “Master the day” “Seize the day”

Improviser Stabiliser Theorist Catalyst

Temperament

Why we do what we do?

“Satisfying the needs of our temperament is continual. We do it every day, only to get up and do it again.”

• Eve Delunas

Improviser SP Stabiliser SJ Theorist NT Catalyst NF

Linda Berens

ESSENTIAL MOTIVATORS

What needs are so essential to existence that we will go to great lengths to get them met?

Different to the Type preferences

• Doesn’t have an opposite
• Differentiation not individuation
• A long history with multiple contributors

Hippocrates Paracelsus Spranger Adickes Kretschmer Keirsey & Bates Berens Nardi

“Make the day worthwhile” “Day-to-day responsibility” “Master the day” “Seize the day”

Improviser Stabiliser Theorist Catalyst

“Make the day

worthwhile”

“Day-to-day

responsibility”

“Master the day” “Seize the day”

Improviser Stabiliser Theorist Catalyst

Needs: Freedom to take immediate action and make an impact Needs: Be responsible, dutiful and contribute to the team Needs: Demonstrate and be recognized for expertise and competence. Needs: Encourage authentic personal growth

• f self and
• thers.

Stabilizer

Strengths gths Pot

• tential

tial Blind d Spots

• ts

Understand process – how to create a structured coaching experience May be stressed if the client requires too much flexibility Past-focused – so ability to remember previous examples and ideas May be reluctant to encourage the client to try something new Realistic – so able to focus on what is achievable May dismiss abstract ideas as unrealistic Ability to set concrete goals May miss the big picture

Eve Delunas Psychotherapist

“Make the day

worthwhile”

“Day-to-day

responsibility”

“Master the day” “Seize the day”

Improviser Stabiliser Theorist Catalyst Impressive to Unimpressive Responsible to Irresponsible Competence to Incompetence Authentic to Inauthentic

Under stress

• Given enough stress anyone can play Survival Games
• Only when they become destructive are they problematic
• When our self-esteem, self-respect or self-confidence is

under threat, we will subconsciously protect them

• When our core needs are not met in any part of lives;

home, work and socially, we are especially vulnerable to playing the Survival Games

• They are anything but fun!!!

Complain loud and often about aches, pains and illnesses you have and are experiencing now. Complain about all the hardships of your life.

1

Talk about your worries and fears about bad things that might happen. Nag people in the group.

2

Talk about the illegal and risky things you do. Complain about being bored.

3

Say and do things that are

• utrageous and SHOCK
• ther people in the group.

4

Talk about the sacrifices you have made and are willing to make for this group. Attempt to keep the peace and make everyone else happy.

5

Change the subject often. Don’t give a straight answer to any question.

6

Focus on small details and point out the imperfections in what you see and hear.

7

Criticise people’s ideas as illogical

• r stupid. Dismiss emotions as

illogical or unimportant.

8

Exaggerates (All)

• Refuses to budge
• Becomes a permanent fixture

in a toxic place

• Stays put, gets walked all over
• Too many duties – poor me
• Can’t stop ‘shoulding’

Depletes (Nothing)

• Flat
• Unable
• Condemned to idleness

Stabiliser

Responsible to Irresponsible

Exaggerates (All)

• Attention seeking
• Outbursts
• Shocks
• Binges
• Cons

Depletes (Nothing)

• Empty
• Lifeless
• Couch potato

Improviser

Impressive to Unimpressive

Exaggerates (All)

• Questions everything!
• Becomes illogical
• Nitpicks and argues
• Claims intellectual superiority
• Haunted by thoughts

Depletes (Nothing)

• Blanks out
• Knows nothing
• Feels stupid

Theorist

Competence to Incompetence

Exaggerates (All)

• Becomes a mind reader
• Attributes negative emotions
• Martyrs themselves
• Avoids the subject
• Twitches and spasms

Depletes (Nothing)

• Stagnates
• Unaware
• Just forgets

Catalyst

Authentic to Inauthentic

“Make the day

worthwhile”

“Day-to-day

responsibility”

“Master the day” “Seize the day”

Improviser Stabiliser Theorist Catalyst Impressive Unimpressive Responsible Irresponsible Competence Incompetence Authentic Inauthentic

Sue Blair

Differentiated Communication in a guidance role Celebrating Difference