Compassionate/Nonviolent Communication (c) 2005 by Center for - - PDF document

Compassionate/Nonviolent Communication

(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication Website: www.cnvc.org Email: cnvc@cnvc.org Phone: +1.505.244.4041

Skills

• OBSERVATION - Differentiating observation from evaluation, being able to carefully observe what is

happening free of evaluation, and to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us

• FEELINGS - Differentiating feeling from thinking, being able to identify and express internal feeling states

in a way that does not imply judgment, criticism, or blame/punishment

• NEEDS - Connecting with the universal human needs/values (e.g. sustenance, trust, understanding) in us that

are being met or not met in relation to what is happening and how we are feeling

• REQUESTS - Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want

(rather than what we don’t want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving)

Feelings

AFFECTIONATE compassionate friendly loving sympathetic tender warm CONFIDENT empowered

• pen

proud safe secure ENGAGED absorbed alert curious engrossed fascinated interested intrigued spellbound stimulated INSPIRED amazed awed EXCITED amazed animated aroused astonished dazzled eager energetic enthusiastic giddy invigorated lively passionate surprised vibrant EXHILARATED blissful ecstatic elated exuberant radiant rapturous thrilled GRATEFUL appreciative thankful touched HOPEFUL expectant encouraged

• ptimistic

JOYFUL amused delighted happy pleased tickled PEACEFUL calm clear headed comfortable centered content fulfilled mellow relaxed relieved satisfied still REFRESHED rejuvenated rested revived

AFRAID apprehensive foreboding frightened mistrustful panicked petrified scared suspicious wary worried ANNOYED aggravated dismayed displeased exasperated frustrated impatient irritated ANGRY enraged furious indignant irate

• utraged

resentful AVERSION animosity appalled contempt disgusted dislike hate horrified hostile repulsed CONFUSED ambivalent baffled bewildered dazed hesitant lost mystified perplexed puzzled torn DISCONNECTED alienated aloof apathetic bored cold detached distracted indifferent numb removed uninterested DISQUIET agitated alarmed discombobulated disconcerted disturbed restless shocked startled surprised troubled turbulent uncomfortable uneasy unnerved unsettled upset EMBARRASSED ashamed chagrined flustered guilty mortified self-conscious FATIGUE burnt out exhausted lethargic listless tired weary worn out PAIN anguished bereaved devastated grief heartbroken hurt lonely miserable regretful remorseful SAD depressed dejected despair despondent disappointed discouraged forlorn gloomy hopeless melancholy unhappy wretched TENSE anxious cranky distressed edgy fidgety irritable jittery nervous

• verwhelmed

restless stressed out VULNERABLE fragile guarded helpless insecure reserved sensitive shaky YEARNING envious jealous longing nostalgic pining wistful

Needs

CONNECTION acceptance affection appreciation belonging cooperation communication closeness community companionship compassion consideration consistency empathy inclusion intimacy love mutuality nurturing respect/self-respect safety security stability support to know and be known to see and be seen to understand and be understood trust warmth PHYSICAL WELL-BEING air food movement/exercise rest/sleep sexual expression safety shelter touch water HONESTY authenticity integrity presence PLAY joy humor PEACE beauty communion ease equality harmony inspiration

• rder

MEANING awareness celebration of life challenge clarity competence consciousness contribution creativity discovery efficacy effectiveness growth hope learning mourning participation purpose self-expression stimulation to matter understanding AUTONOMY choice freedom independence space spontaneity