Changing the Tools for Home Intergenerational Visitors Pathway of Trauma Barbara Jessing, MS, LIMHP, LMFT
Fontenelle House Consultation and Training Barbara Jessing bejessing@cox.net 402-981-6727 www.fontenellehouse.com
Welcome • Reflection: and • A parent you are thinking about today Introduction
• Recognize adult manifestations of Trauma past and continuing trauma including triggering situations Informed • Adopt a trauma sensitive, relational approach to carrying out early Early childhood services Childhood • Apply principles of attachment to our work with parents Practice • Connect parents to trauma-informed resources
What are the mechanics of Mapping the intergenerational transmission? Historic and cultural Pathway: trauma Framing Parent Parent ACES lead Behavior in Attachment Terms to Child ACES Identifying and matching parents’ attachment styles Parallel Process
Adverse Childhood Experiences pass from one generation to the next…. Until they don’t Studies show that about 30% of adults maltreated as children will repeat the pattern 70% do not What’s the difference?
The ACES PYRAMID
ACES Overview
The ACES PYRAMID
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Children Carry On the Pattern Parenting Capacity is impaired; Children Exposed to Adverse Childhood Experiences Adoption of Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms: Substances, Mental Illness, Instability, Violence Brain is Wired for Threat and Survival; Emotions dysregulated Capacity to Protect, Attach and Nurture is Stunted Parent History of Adverse Childhood Experiences The Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Pyramid
• Difficulty regulating emotions The Blind • Difficulty with concentration, attention, and decision making Spot: How • Maladaptive coping such as substance abuse Trauma can impair judgment • Difficulty making and keeping close supportive History Affects relationships Parenting • Difficulty in accurately assessing danger or safety
Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth Chances
We Can’t • But we can intervene to help parents protect children from Change ACE exposure Parent ACE • And we can build resiliency in Score… parents
. The Trauma Informed The “WHY” Behind the Behavior Lens: Effects of Trauma on Attachment Parent Attachment Style Persistence of Styles Attachment Style Your Attachment Experience
“Early attachment is the affective child - mother bond that promotes survival through the child’s reliance on the adult for protection” Alicia Lieberman Attachment
Progression of Attachment
Four Attachment Classifications Secure Avoidant (responsive (caregiving is and sensitive chronically rebuffing ) caregiving) Disorganized Resistant (caregiving is (caregiving is at times inconsistent) frightening or frightened)
Secure Attachment • Caregiver is safe base for exploration of the world • Parent is attuned to inner experience of child and responds flexibly • They are comforted by the parent and show a clear preference for the caregiver (for example, by protesting or avoiding the unfamiliar person).
Avoidant Attachment • Parent is emotionally unavailable or rejecting; child adapts by avoiding closeness and emotional connection • This child may appear to be very independent but their self reliance is a cover for insecurity .
Resistant/Ambivalent Attachment • Parents’ communication is inconsistent and at times intrusive. This may be mild to severe • Because the child can’t depend on the parent for attunement and connection, he develops a sense of anxiety and feelings of insecurity. This too may be mild to severe
Disorganized Attachment • Parent behavior frightens or terrorizes the child • Child is emotionally aroused and alone – no comfort, no containment, no emotion regulation • Child shows approach- avoidance pattern • Child may show trance like state or “freeze” response • Mental models of parent remain un-integrated • Irresolvable paradox -- parent is feared and needed
Attachment Styles Tend But with healthy, to Persist Throughout corrective experiences, they can change or at least be modified Lif ife
Taylor- Seehafer, …Unresolved loss and trauma Jacobvitz, and tends to affect the way social Holloran behavior is organized later in Stiiker; Family adulthood, including how individuals cope with extreme and stress…. Community Health; 2008
• Parent experiences traumatic event in The childhood Intersection • Parent develops traumatic expectations as a result of the event of Ghosts • Parent’s personality develops in line with defenses and expectations based and on trauma Trauma • Early trauma becomes a ghost in the nursery
Childhood Attachment Adult Attachment • Secure: • Secure: Distress when mother leaves • • Comfortable in relationships • Greets Mother when she returns • Co-regulation • Able to seek support from partner • Self Regulation • Avoidant: • Avoidant: Does not seek Mother when she returns • • Focuses on environment • Isolates; seems autonomous • Tends to cut off emotionally from others • Ambivalent/Resistant: • Very upset at departure • Ambivalent/Resistant: Explores very little • • Clingy and anxious • Fears rejection from partner • Strong desire to maintain closeness • Disorganized • Disorganized • Dysregulated • Mistrustful Mood and behavior swings; unpredictable • • Hostile; aggressive Difficulty trusting others • Hostile •
• Dismissive of the importance of Categories of attachment relationships Adult Attachment • Preoccupied – confused, non-objective Style and preoccupied by past relationships within the family; passive, vague; Correlations fearful; overwhelmed Between • Autonomous – sees attachment relationships as important and Children’s and influential; able to explore thoughts Parents’ and feelings about attachment Attachment experiences Styles
Mindful Self Regulation Find Angels in the Nursery Horizon Questions Watch for Ports of Stratetgies Entry Build Attachment with Parent Teach about ACES “Serve and Return” Moments “Speaking for Baby”
Hold Contradictions Keep Showing Up! Mindful Self Regulation Precontact Routine Reflective Practice for the ARC of your work
What is Your Repertoire for Reducing Physiological Reactivity?
• Walk to the door with hope AND Pre-Contact • Be aware of pressures and frustrations – Routine: breathe to release • Take time to mindfully regulate as you approach Prepare to Be • Feel your sense of balance and be ready to shift Present as needed to hold the situation steady • Open to the experience of this family on this day
Hold Contradictions
The haunting experiences, the breakdown or disruptions of attachment that the GHOSTS parents carry forward leaving gaps in what they can offer their child in the present The benevolent experiences that parents have ANGELS to draw on from the past/in the present
• Do you have a memory of a time when you were little when you felt especially A NGEL loved, understood or safe? Q UESTIONS • What is the content of the memory? • How old were you at the time? • Do you remember any smells, sights, sounds or other sensations that are connected with the memory?
How do you feel now as you speak about these memories? Is there anything about these memories that you use to sustain you as you raise your child? Or that you use to help you raise your child? As we work together, is there anything about your memories that you want to use in raising your child, to help you bring that kind of feeling to you and your child? If I were to see your child 20 years from now, what would you like him/her to tell me about you?
Horizon • If I were to see your child 20 years from now, what would you like him/her to Questions: tell me about you? • What hopes do you have for this child? When You • What kind of person do you hope she will be? Have Done • What skills does your child need for the Your Work kind of world you expect him to live in? as Parent
Be Trustworthy Keep showing up Building Maintain attunement with the parent Attachment Co-Regulate Follow through -- do what you say you with will do Parents Help meet basic needs Help surmount crises Watch for turning points
“The Roots • Children learn to of Empathy” empathize with others if they receive empathic, attuned care from the Mary adults around them Gordon
“PORTS OF • The child’s behavior ENTRY” • The parent’s behavior Opportunities • The parent-child interaction for • The child’s representation of self Intervention • The child’s representation of parent • The parent’s representation of self in the • The parent’s representation of child Moment
Pre-contemplation Contemplation Preparation Action
“Five Steps for Brain Building Serve and Return”
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