Transforming difficult conversations into positive outcomes Jenni Wessels Jenni.wessels@portsmouthcc.gov.uk www.portsmouth.gov.uk
What is the impact of conflict? www.portsmouth.gov.uk 2
We know that Restorative Practice is informed by values so when we start to think about challenging conversations we first need to think about what happens when we disconnect from our values? • We pu punis ish • We ste step away fro from accountabili lity • We sto stop bein ing ca calm www.portsmouth.gov.uk 3
Focusing on ME first Usin sing RP RP values to to pr prepare us us for for ch chall llenging co conversations RESPECT RESTORE SAFE NEUTRAL VOLUNTARY ACCESIBLE On your tables look at the value that is written on your sheet of paper and answer the following question; How do we use these valu lues to prepare ourselves for challenging conversations ? Example Respect: I ask myself, am I ready to sit alongside this person to talk with them rather than to/at them? www.portsmouth.gov.uk 4
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Have we given people the opportunity to….? • Unwind - freely talk and discuss the incident/situation • Re Rewind - take a second look at the incident/situation, exploring own motivation and impact, considering next steps • Win ind up up - creating the opportunity for others to consider the opportunity Consider which point they are at when we approach the conversation. www.portsmouth.gov.uk Adapted from: The Social Work Blog. 6
Why do we use the Restorative framework? Event Thoughts Feelings Impact Future www.portsmouth.gov.uk 7
Unlocking Need In In a ch challe lengin ing co conversatio ion we want to to: • Hear where th the pe pers rson is is at • Understand th their ir fee feeli lings, th thoughts and th the im impact on th them • Lis Listen for for th the needs sta statements behin ind th the iss issue so so we ca can expl plore th this is fur further. www.portsmouth.gov.uk 8
What helps us to unlock the need? Mirr irroring, , clari clarifying Rest estorati tive Fu Furth ther que questi tions and refra and reframing Framework Fram • Gives us a more • So I’m hearing • Can you tell me complete more about that? you say…. understanding • What would be • That sounds like • Event the impact if that it’s important to didn’t happen? you • Thoughts • How is that • From what you’ve • Feelings affecting you? said it sounds like • Impact you’re not getting • Re-cover the • Future much sleep, is that restorative right? framework with your additional understanding of need. www.portsmouth.gov.uk 9
Skills practice On your tables break into pairs: • One person presents an issue • The other person uses open questions (avoiding suggestions) to understand more about the issue and then trying to understand the needs behind the issue. • Swap and repeat www.portsmouth.gov.uk 10
Next Steps • Practice, practice, practice • Use this approach for self reflection so you build your own understanding before trying to work with others. • Think about one thing you can do to use the skills from today in the next week. www.portsmouth.gov.uk 11
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