Therapeutic Relationships Therapeutic Relationships Therapeutic - - PDF document

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Therapeutic Relationships Therapeutic Relationships Therapeutic Relationships Therapeutic Relationships with with with with EBD Students: EBD Students: EBD Students: EBD Students: A A A A GNETS Perspective GNETS Perspective GNETS Perspective GNETS Perspective

John Medearis, LTSE, DeKalb/Rockdale GNETS

• Get in Groups of 3-4
• Briefly Introduce yourself and where and work
• Share, “Looking at my life as a journey, some

(emotional, developmental) places I am journeying from are…”

• Some places (emotional, developmental) I am

journeying to are…” Edward O. Wilson Edward O. Wilson Edward O. Wilson Edward O. Wilson The Social Conquest of the Earth The Social Conquest of the Earth The Social Conquest of the Earth The Social Conquest of the Earth

• Home sapiens are “eusocial:” groups have

multigenerations of members; members prone to altuistic acts; group has a valuable and defensible nest guarded by an extended family (tribe)

• Human condition: selfish at one time, selfless at

another (competition and cooperation)

A class (especially a small group) is A class (especially a small group) is A class (especially a small group) is A class (especially a small group) is like a family or tribe like a family or tribe like a family or tribe like a family or tribe

• For some students, the class may be the closest thing

in their lives to having healthy family interactions

• Special Ed Teachers sometimes function “like a

parent” for students (provide acceptance, concern, guidance, sense of safety, boundaries, etc.)

• Being aware of this dynamic, and using it in a healthy

way, often helps in managing behaviors

• We have a tribal orientation; “Guard your nest”

What makes a good nest?

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Guard Your Nest Guard Your Nest Guard Your Nest Guard Your Nest

• Express love to your students…
• Dependable, steadfast love

“Psycho “Psycho “Psycho “Psycho-

• Education”

Education” Education” Education”

“Soul” + “Bring-up, train, rear”

Eric Eric Eric Eric Fromm: Fromm: Fromm: Fromm: The The The The Art of Loving Art of Loving Art of Loving Art of Loving

• Components of Love:
• 1. Care
• 2. Knowledge
• 3. Respect
• 4. Responsibility
• Love of the other is balanced with
• love of self and of world

Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students

• Guard the nest
• Express Love

Importance of Relationship to Teaching, Importance of Relationship to Teaching, Importance of Relationship to Teaching, Importance of Relationship to Teaching, in General in General in General in General

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Harry and Rosmary Wong Harry and Rosmary Wong Harry and Rosmary Wong Harry and Rosmary Wong The First Days of School The First Days of School The First Days of School The First Days of School

• Love is the reason for teaching
• Effective teachers offer more that a product; they
• ffer a service, too.
• The sincerest form of service comes from listening

caring and loving.

• Effective teachers know how to open the door and

invite their students to learn.

Robert Marzano, Robert Marzano, Robert Marzano, Robert Marzano, The Art and Science of Teaching The Art and Science of Teaching The Art and Science of Teaching The Art and Science of Teaching

• Arguably the quality of the relationships

teachers have with students is the keystone of effective management and perhaps even the entirety of teaching.

Robert Marzano, Robert Marzano, Robert Marzano, Robert Marzano, The Art and Science of Teaching The Art and Science of Teaching The Art and Science of Teaching The Art and Science of Teaching

• Teachers need to communicate two messages:
• You can count on me to provide clear direction in

terms of your learning and in terms of behavior. I take responsibility for these issues.

• We are a team here and succeed or fail as a team.

Additionally, I have a stake personally in the success of each one of you.

• Know something about each student
• Engage in Behaviors that indicate affection for each student
• Bring student interests into the content and personalize learning

activities

• Engage in physical behaviors that communicate interest in students
• Use humor when appropriate
• Consistently enforce positive and negative consequences
• Project a sense of emotional objectivity
• Maintain a cool exterior

Robert Marzano, Robert Marzano, Robert Marzano, Robert Marzano, The Art and Science of Teaching The Art and Science of Teaching The Art and Science of Teaching The Art and Science of Teaching

Ten Tips for Classroom Management Ten Tips for Classroom Management Ten Tips for Classroom Management Ten Tips for Classroom Management

(http://www.edutopia.org/classroom-management-resource-guide; 2011)

• 1. Build Community
• 2. Design a Safe, Friendly, and Well-Managed

Classroom Environment

• 3. Include Students in Creating Rules, Norms,

Routines, and Consequences

• 4. Create a Variety of Communication Channels
• 5. Always Be Calm, Fair, and Consistent

Ten Tips for Classroom Management Ten Tips for Classroom Management Ten Tips for Classroom Management Ten Tips for Classroom Management

(Continued)

• 6. Know the Students You Teach
• 7. Address Conflict Quickly and Wisely
• 8. Integrate Positive Classroom Rituals
• 9. Keep It Real
• 10. Partner with Parents and Guardians

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National Public Radio Stories: National Public Radio Stories: National Public Radio Stories: National Public Radio Stories:

• Teachers as “Wisdom Givers” (Navaho Culture)
• http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2016/01/12/462141655/a-wisdom-

keeper-draws-from-a-deep-well-of-navajo-culture

Seek out positive, non Seek out positive, non Seek out positive, non Seek out positive, non-

• judgmental, and

judgmental, and judgmental, and judgmental, and calm interactions calm interactions calm interactions calm interactions

• Put “money in the bank” –greeting, interactions, spoken
• bservations, etc.
• The power of letting other know that you see them.
• Research recommends 6 positive statements for every 1 negative
• Praise approximations (“It’s good that you sat down—now can

you open your textbook?”)

• Praise publically—Structure or criticize privately
• “Pedal the bike when the speed is good” (“Most of you are doing

a great job right now…)

GNETS/Special Education GNETS/Special Education GNETS/Special Education GNETS/Special Education Resources Resources Resources Resources to support Positive Interactions to support Positive Interactions to support Positive Interactions to support Positive Interactions

PBIS Point Sheets Levels Levels Meetings Decision Making Class Perks MindSet

TV Show: TV Show: TV Show: TV Show: Parenthood Parenthood Parenthood Parenthood:

• “I see you and I hear you”

Find the 10% Find the 10% Find the 10% Find the 10%

• The story of the effective chaplain
• NPR Story: In The Classroom,

Common Ground Can Transform GPAs (http://www.npr.org/2015/10/13/444446708/in-the-

classroom-common-ground-can-transform-gpas)

4 Teacher Video Clips 4 Teacher Video Clips 4 Teacher Video Clips 4 Teacher Video Clips

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The Importance of Relationship The Importance of Relationship The Importance of Relationship The Importance of Relationship in Teaching EBD Students in Teaching EBD Students in Teaching EBD Students in Teaching EBD Students Larry Larry Larry Larry Brendtro Brendtro Brendtro Brendtro and and and and Arlin Arlin Arlin Arlin Ness Ness Ness Ness Re Re Re Re-

• educating Troubled

educating Troubled educating Troubled educating Troubled Youth Youth Youth Youth

(1983; B,N)

• Relationship is primary
• Assessment is ecological
• Behavior is holistic
• Teaching is humanistic
• Crisis is opportunity
• Practice is pragmatic

6 Tenets of the 6 Tenets of the 6 Tenets of the 6 Tenets of the Psychoeducational Psychoeducational Psychoeducational Psychoeducational Model Model Model Model Brendtro and Ness

Build and deepen a healing relationship Increase understanding of behaviors Teach to needs Work through crises Seek out and practice what works

“Relationship is Primary” “Relationship is Primary” “Relationship is Primary” “Relationship is Primary”

• The quality of the human relationships is the

most powerful determinant of successful programs for the education and treatment of troubled children.

Establishing therapeutic relationships Establishing therapeutic relationships Establishing therapeutic relationships Establishing therapeutic relationships with trouble youngsters involves with trouble youngsters involves with trouble youngsters involves with trouble youngsters involves (B, N)

(B, N) (B, N) (B, N):

: : :

• Enhancing Communication:

decode real meanings of behavior and establish trust (dealing with a sleepy child)

• Social Reinforcement:

become significant and constructively influence

• Modeling:

act so students want to be part of your group

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Levels of Therapeutic Relationships (B,N) Levels of Therapeutic Relationships (B,N) Levels of Therapeutic Relationships (B,N) Levels of Therapeutic Relationships (B,N)

• Staff to Student
• Student to Student
• Staff to Staff
• Staff to self
• Student to self
• Student to staff

Ways to be Perceived in a Positive Manner Ways to be Perceived in a Positive Manner Ways to be Perceived in a Positive Manner Ways to be Perceived in a Positive Manner by Troubled Youth (B,N) by Troubled Youth (B,N) by Troubled Youth (B,N) by Troubled Youth (B,N)

• Build the perception of:
• Honesty
• Fairness
• Caring
• Rightness
• Reasonableness
• Dependability
• Mutual Support of fellow team members.

The Red Wig Story The Red Wig Story The Red Wig Story The Red Wig Story

• One of the characteristics of an EBD

student:

• “an inability to build or maintain satisfactory

interpersonal relationships with peers and teachers.”

• Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
• Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
• Depression
• Bipolar Disorder
• Anxiety Disorder
• Autism
• Schizophrenia
• Reactive Attachment Disorder
• Post-traumatic Stress Disorder
• Intermittent Explosive Disorder

Some Some Some Some medical medical medical medical d d d diagnoses iagnoses iagnoses iagnoses

• f EBD students
• f EBD students
• f EBD students
• f EBD students

Common mental/emotional issues Common mental/emotional issues Common mental/emotional issues Common mental/emotional issues

• f EBD students:
• f EBD students:
• f EBD students:
• f EBD students:
• Difficulty managing emotions
• Irritable and Angry
• Sad or depressed
• Anxious or withdrawn
• Easily upset
• Poor coping skills
• Restless or hyperactive
• Impulsive
• Problems getting along with others
• Lack of social skills
• Negative attitude
• Misperceive events
• Mistrustful of others
• Verbally hostile
• Physically aggressive

…have found very little success in school and relationships

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2 Video Clips on Classroom Images 2 Video Clips on Classroom Images 2 Video Clips on Classroom Images 2 Video Clips on Classroom Images Learn and keep in mind Learn and keep in mind Learn and keep in mind Learn and keep in mind the student’s life story the student’s life story the student’s life story the student’s life story

• Long-term behavior and emotional

issues

• Successes and failures
• Supportive and harmful relationships
• Places lived and “homes”
• Retell yourself the student’s life story

Maslow’s Maslow’s Maslow’s Maslow’s Hierarchy of Hierarchy of Hierarchy of Hierarchy of Needs Needs Needs Needs Finding the student’s “territory”: Finding the student’s “territory”: Finding the student’s “territory”: Finding the student’s “territory”: Reflect on the IEP Reflect on the IEP Reflect on the IEP Reflect on the IEP (as a storybook) (as a storybook) (as a storybook) (as a storybook)

• Medical info (diagnoses, medications)
• Testing info
• Present Levels of Performance
• Behavior Intervention Plan
• Goals
• Student Supports

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Research other IEP related documents Research other IEP related documents Research other IEP related documents Research other IEP related documents

• Eligibilities
• Psychological Reports
• Social Histories
• Hospital discharge summaries
• School system discipline records
• DTORF ratings
• SWIS data
• old IEP’s

Thomas Merton Thomas Merton Thomas Merton Thomas Merton A Book of Hours A Book of Hours A Book of Hours A Book of Hours

I meet a man On my way When he starts to curse and threatens me, Lord guard my lips I will not reply Guide my steps in the night As I go my way Maybe he belongs to some

• ther Lord

Who is not so wise and good Maybe that is why those bones Lie scattered on his road.

Edwin Markham Edwin Markham Edwin Markham Edwin Markham “Outwitted” “Outwitted” “Outwitted” “Outwitted”

• He drew a circle that shut me out—
• Heretic, rebel, an thing to flout.
• But love and I had the wit to win:
• We drew a circle that took him in.

Cipher in the Snow Cipher in the Snow Cipher in the Snow Cipher in the Snow

by Jean Mizer by Jean Mizer by Jean Mizer by Jean Mizer

• “I may not do anything else for you this year, but

not one of you is going to come out of here as a nobody…I won’t have one of you coming out of there thinking himself a zero.”

Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students

• Guard the nest
• Express Love
• See and Hear the whole person’s story

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Help students get a sense Help students get a sense Help students get a sense Help students get a sense

• f their life stories
• f their life stories
• f their life stories
• f their life stories
• Learn where students have been, and where they hope to go
• Help them learn to sense, reframe, and claim the story of

their lives

• Help them focus on where they want to go in life
• Help them learn to use school to work towards achieving life

goals

• Help them understand that each of us is on a unique journey

through life, with different lessons to learn along the way

• Help them learn to respect other’s stories

NPR NPR NPR NPR--

• -The Writing Assignment

The Writing Assignment The Writing Assignment The Writing Assignment That Changes Lives That Changes Lives That Changes Lives That Changes Lives

http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2015/07/10/419202925/the-writing-assignment-that-changes-lives

• “…nearly erasing the gender and ethnic minority achievement gap

for 700 students over the course of two years with a short written exercise in setting goals.”

• “The act of writing is more powerful than people think.”
• “Students reflect on important moments in their past, identify key

personal motivations and create plans for the future, including specific goals and strategies to overcome obstacles. Peterson calls the two parts ‘past authoring’ and ‘future authoring.’”

Psychology Today, June 2016 Psychology Today, June 2016 Psychology Today, June 2016 Psychology Today, June 2016

“ “ “ “The Story of Your Life, The Story of Your Life, The Story of Your Life, The Story of Your Life, It It It It’ ’ ’ ’s Never to Late for a Rewrite s Never to Late for a Rewrite s Never to Late for a Rewrite s Never to Late for a Rewrite” ” ” ”

• Study showing impact of positive “story” video on minority

and economically disadvantaged students—improvement in grades, graduation rates, and self-confidence

• “If our stories tell us we are resilient, we will be. If they tell

us we’re not up to the fight, we likely won’t be.”

• “We can’t change the past, but we can change how it

affects us and who it makes us.”

Psychology Today, cont. Psychology Today, cont. Psychology Today, cont. Psychology Today, cont.

• Students who wrote about a traumatic event,

“reported better psychological health.”

• Helps your understanding of, “who you are, how you

became that person, and where you are going.”

• Suggestions: very short writing times; share; grounded

in life; write after time has passed; focus on post- traumatic growth.

• NPR—This American Life: Political issue canvasing

technique; people change positions by sharing stories and answering questions (http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-

archives/episode/584/for-your-reconsideration?act=1)

• Ruby Payne, Culture of Poverty: stories organized by

emotions

• Pastoral Care Conference, PTSD: traumatic memories

need to be coaxed into a time and place, and into words, to allow healing

• The tendency to replay traumatic events

Other references on life Other references on life Other references on life Other references on life-

• story sharing

story sharing story sharing story sharing

What a Research Study on Counseling What a Research Study on Counseling What a Research Study on Counseling What a Research Study on Counseling Models/Techniques Found Models/Techniques Found Models/Techniques Found Models/Techniques Found--

• More important than what technique were used…
• Having a therapeutic alliance—Agreeing on goals and

working together to achieve them

• Mobilizing hope and expectancy of change—Believing

that things will get better if I keep working on goals

• (Duncan, B. L., Miller, S. D., Wampold, B. E., & Hubble, M. A. (2010) The Heart & Soul of

Change, 2nd edition. Washington: American Psychological Association)

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• I want to work with you
• If I can’t work with you,
• I will work for you
• I never work against you

In addition to the curriculum, In addition to the curriculum, In addition to the curriculum, In addition to the curriculum, you are teaching… you are teaching… you are teaching… you are teaching…

• Social skills
• Communication skills
• Problem-solving skills
• Organizational skills
• How to trust: adults,

routines, communities

• How to be honest with self,

and affirm self

• How to get a sense of life story
• How to set realistic and life-

directing goals

• How to work to achieve goals
• How to advocate for self

Teach each student Teach each student Teach each student Teach each student to help manage IEP to help manage IEP to help manage IEP to help manage IEP and to advocate for self (Aspire) and to advocate for self (Aspire) and to advocate for self (Aspire) and to advocate for self (Aspire)

Idea of a simple, unofficial, blank IEP Idea of a simple, unofficial, blank IEP Idea of a simple, unofficial, blank IEP Idea of a simple, unofficial, blank IEP

• Important things to know about me.
• Things I do well; things I like to do; things I’m able

to do; areas where I have improved

• Things I need to work on
• Things that help me do better
• Things that help me calm down
• Jobs or vocations I might want to do during my life
• Evaluate and modify the goals
• Use, evaluate, and modify the interventions in

the BIP

• Use, evaluate, and modify the

accommodations in Student Supports

• Remind yourself of the array of established

interventions and supports.

Update and change the IEP Update and change the IEP Update and change the IEP Update and change the IEP to help it work better to help it work better to help it work better to help it work better

Good instruction: Good instruction: Good instruction: Good instruction: “Bring the Feast” “Bring the Feast” “Bring the Feast” “Bring the Feast”

• Learning activates pleasure centers in

the brain

• Try to visualize each class as you serving

your students “a meal” they will enjoy consuming (that’s also healthy—helping them grow)

• The Ramen Story

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Each student needs to have Each student needs to have Each student needs to have Each student needs to have “a place at the table” “a place at the table” “a place at the table” “a place at the table”

• Every student should feel welcomed and encouraged to be part
• f the class
• Every student should “get a meal she can enjoy eating”
• Every student who tries should successfully experience learning
• Instruction needs to be differentiated to accommodate both

academic and emotional/behavioral needs

• Every student should know that if he is not participating in

class, he will be missed

The Circle of Courage

Activities to Promote Life Activities to Promote Life Activities to Promote Life Activities to Promote Life-

• Story Reflection

Story Reflection Story Reflection Story Reflection

• Processing a problem or crisis (MindSet or LSCI)
• Creating and sharing timeline of life (whole-life; school year)
• Creating and sharing class school year time line.
• Presenting about self in IEP
• End of Semester or School Year letters (thank you, favorite

memory, hope for you).

• Circle of courage reflection activity.
• Decision Making, Social Skills activities

GNETS/Special Education GNETS/Special Education GNETS/Special Education GNETS/Special Education Resources Resources Resources Resources to support to support to support to support Therapeutic Instruction Therapeutic Instruction Therapeutic Instruction Therapeutic Instruction

Point Sheets Levels Levels Meetings Decision Making Class Perks IEP MindSet LSCI PBIS SWIS DTORF-R Circle of Courage

Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students

• Guard the nest
• Express Love
• See and Hear the whole person’s story
• Help students to claim and re-write

their life story

• Bring the Feast

Crisis is Opportunity Crisis is Opportunity Crisis is Opportunity Crisis is Opportunity

• A crisis gives the student a chance to learn that:
• you listen
• You are trustworthy
• you keep things safe
• you remain in-control
• you help solve problems
• You are fair

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A crisis gives the student A crisis gives the student A crisis gives the student A crisis gives the student a chance to learn how to: a chance to learn how to: a chance to learn how to: a chance to learn how to:

• appropriately express

strong emotions

• calm down
• avoid making things worse
• connect emotions to events
• mediate
• understand another’s

perspective

• let go
• take responsibility
• make amends
• apologize
• make a plan

Development of a Crisis

Baseline, “Regular” “Something’s not right;” upset; in control Defiance, Defensive Physically Unsafe Fatigue Focused Support, Counseling approach “CAR”, Emotionally Disengaged, Directive Safety Measures Support, Discuss, Teach Student Actions Staff Response Usual positive guidance and support Consider Barriers Awareness of “hot spots” Proactive Strategies

• MindSet: Guiding Principles

MindSet: Guiding Principles MindSet: Guiding Principles MindSet: Guiding Principles for a Culture of Prevention for a Culture of Prevention for a Culture of Prevention for a Culture of Prevention— — — —

• Promote Choice and Trust
• Avoid Power Struggles
• Seek Pro-action vs. Re-Action
• Set-up Everyone for Success

Be Grounded in Authority, Be Grounded in Authority, Be Grounded in Authority, Be Grounded in Authority, and Avoid Power Struggles and Avoid Power Struggles and Avoid Power Struggles and Avoid Power Struggles

• Find and assert your sense of authority in the class,
• while avoiding the appearance that you are trying to

dominate your students.

Be Sensitive to Be Sensitive to Be Sensitive to Be Sensitive to Emotional Contagion Emotional Contagion Emotional Contagion Emotional Contagion and Mirroring Emotions and Mirroring Emotions and Mirroring Emotions and Mirroring Emotions

Who is influencing who? Stay in your C.A.R. (Calm, Aware, Respectful) Mindfulness

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• Apologize to my mule
• Breakfast Club Detention

Ways to think about Authority Ways to think about Authority Ways to think about Authority Ways to think about Authority

• Professional with an ethical duty
• “Parent” of your class family
• “Leader/Trail Guide” of your journeying tribe
• Truth Seer and Truth Speaker
• Wisdom Keeper

MindSet MindSet MindSet MindSet: the 4 : the 4 : the 4 : the 4 Step Counseling Practice Step Counseling Practice Step Counseling Practice Step Counseling Practice

Step 1: “Say what you see and/or hear” Step 2: “Establish the feeling” Step 3: “Connect the feeling to the source” (Step 3b Help Gain Insight and Sense of

Responsibility; LSCI)

Step 4: “Plan of Action”

Life Space Crisis Life Space Crisis Life Space Crisis Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI) Intervention (LSCI) Intervention (LSCI) Intervention (LSCI)

Provides skills to, “decode and respond effectively to

kids, as a way to prevent conflict, de-escalate stressful situations, and build better relationships.”

Listening is the oldest and perhaps the most powerful tool of healing. It is often through the quality of our listening and not the wisdom of

• ur words that we are able to effect the most profound changes in the

people around us. When we listen, we offer with our attention an

• pportunity for wholeness. Our listening creates sanctuary for the

homeless parts within the other person. That which has been denied, unloved, devalued by themselves and others. That which is hidden.
 In this culture the soul and the heart too often go homeless. Listening creates a holy silence. When you listen generously to people, they can hear the truth in themselves, often for the first time. And in the silence of listening, you can know yourself in everyone. Rachel Naomi Remen

Remember… Remember… Remember… Remember…

• Focus on the pro-active
• Authority instead of dominance
• You are the one influencing emotions
• Different crisis need different interventions
• Every crisis is an opportunity to learn
• Much learning can only happen after the

crisis is over—find a time to process

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“…the most important consistency for

• ur students to see is that all of us are

consistently doing our best to help them succeed.”

(Shared in GNETS staff meeting)

Remember that nothing works all of Remember that nothing works all of Remember that nothing works all of Remember that nothing works all of the time or with everyone the time or with everyone the time or with everyone the time or with everyone

• Teaching is Art as much as Science
• Some things always need adjusting

(Consistency, Timing, Structure)

• Some things that DO work take a

LONG time to start working

Never give up Never give up Never give up Never give up

• For many EBD students, much of life has been people rejecting or

giving up on them

• Many fill like they have little or no control other what happens to

them

• Many will try to make you reject them or give up on them—they

think it will happen anyway, and they feel in-control if they make it happen.

• Work each day to have an image of what a good day would look

like for each student, and each day invite them to that day

• Remember mystery of growth (sometimes it takes a LONG time)
• Example: the student “putting acorns in her backpack”

Joe Hendershott Joe Hendershott Joe Hendershott Joe Hendershott Reaching the Wounded Student Reaching the Wounded Student Reaching the Wounded Student Reaching the Wounded Student

• I will not surrender my power to anyone during a

teachable moment,

• and every behavior gives an opportunity to

teach.

Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students

• Guard the nest
• Express Love
• See and Hear the whole person’s story
• Help students to claim and re-write

their life story

• Bring the Feast
• Always be by their side

Sade: “ Sade: “ Sade: “ Sade: “B B B By Your Side” y Your Side” y Your Side” y Your Side”

You think I'd leave your side. You know me better than that. When you're on the outside and you can't get in I will show you, you're so much better than you know When you're lost, and you're alone, and you can't get back again, I will find you, and I will bring you home

5/31/2016 15

Good Will Hunting: Good Will Hunting: Good Will Hunting: Good Will Hunting: A Metaphor A Metaphor A Metaphor A Metaphor for Guarding the Nest for Guarding the Nest for Guarding the Nest for Guarding the Nest Levels of Therapeutic Relationships Levels of Therapeutic Relationships Levels of Therapeutic Relationships Levels of Therapeutic Relationships

(B,N)

• Staff to Student
• Student to Student
• Staff to Staff
• Staff to self
• Student to self
• Student to staff

Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Objectivist Myth The Objectivist Myth The Objectivist Myth The Objectivist Myth

• f Knowing
• f Knowing
• f Knowing
• f Knowing

Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Community of The Community of The Community of The Community of Truth Truth Truth Truth

Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach

• “Nothing I do differently as a teacher will make

any difference to anyone if it is not rooted in my nature.”

• “My gift as a teacher is the ability to dance with

my students, to co-create with them a context in which all of us can teach and learn, and that this gift works as long as I stay open and trusting and hopeful about who my students are.”

• 6 Paradoxical tensions to build into the teaching and learning space:
• 1. The space should be bounded and open
• 2. The space should be hospitable and “charged.” (safe and dangerous)
• 3. The space should invite the voice of the individual and the voice of

the group.

• 4. The space should honor the “little” stories of the students and the

“big” stories of the disciplines and tradition.

• 5. the space should support solitude and surround it with the

resources of community.

• 6. The space should welcome both silence and speech.

Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach

5/31/2016 16

• Only if we are in communion with ourselves can we find

community with others

• To teach is to create a space in which the community of truth is

practiced

• Good education is always more process than product
• Good education may leave students deeply dissatisfied, at least

for a while

• Reality is a web of communal relationships, and we know reality
• nly by being in community with it
• Truth is an eternal conversation about things that matter,

conducted with passion and discipline.

Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, Parker Palmer, The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach The Courage to Teach

Parker Palmer,

A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life

• Unfortunately, community in our culture too often means a group of people who go

crashing through the woods together, scaring the soul away. In spaces ranging from congregations to classrooms, we preach and teach, assert and argue, claim and proclaim, admonish and advise, and generally behave in ways that drive everything wild into

• hiding. Under these conditions, the intellect, emotions, will, and ego may emerge, but

not the soul: we scare off all the soulful things, like respectful relationships, goodwill, and hope.

• A circle of trust is a group of people who know how to sit quietly “in the woods” with

each other and wait for the shy soul to show up. The relationships in such a group are not pushy but patient, they are not confrontational but compassionate; they are filled not with expectations and demands but with abiding faith in the reality of the inner teacher and in each person’s capacity to learn from it.

Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students Healing Relationships with EBD Students

• Guard the nest
• Express Love
• See and Hear the whole person’s story
• Help students to claim and re-write

their life story

• Bring the Feast
• Always be by their side
• Be open to receiving