NW Ministries Conference 2019 Impacting Kids Who are Angry, Withdrawn, or Superficial
“Every kid needs someone to run to that won’t run away” Me
Romans 12:2 (NIV) 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Conforming to a pattern
Fight
Flight
Freeze
OR…Pleasure
“A plan in the heart of a man is like a deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out.” King Solomon - Proverbs 20:5
LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION Silent Listening You Are Capable Questioning Paraphrasing Empathizing Supporting Analyzing Evaluating Advising You Need Me Adapted from Tim Alexander’s summary of: Adler, Ronald B., Lawrence B. Rosenfeld, and Russell F. Proctor. Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication . New York: Oxford UP, 2004. Print.
OUR TARGET “I’m interested in you as a person, and I think that what you feel is important . I respect your thoughts, and even if I don’t agree with them, I know they are valid for you. I want to understand you . I think you’re worth listening to, and I want you to know that I’m the kind of person you can talk to.” by Carl R. Rogers
GENDER DIFFERENCES WARNING : Males ▸ Prefer “shoulder to shoulder” communication. ▸ Have a sense of honor in confrontation. ▸ In conflict need respectful communication . Generalities* Females ▸ Prefer “face to face” communication. ▸ Confront to connect. *Your personal experience may vary ▸ In conflict need loving communication. Eggerichs, Emerson. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs . Nashville, TN: Integrity ;, 2004. Print.
KEY PHRASE IT SEEMS LIKE…
AFFIRMATIONS • Goal: Encourage repeating behavior • Use descriptive phrases rather than “empty” phrases like good job • Process versus the end product • Say what you saw • T alk less, ask more questions • External to internal • Avoid labels
IT’S NOT PERSONAL
REMOVE THE AUDIENCE
YOU HAVE TIME
VALIDATE WHAT YOU CAN
and
DON’T BUY THE DRAMA
BE CAREFUL WITH HUMOR
KEY AREAS TO LEAD Voice Visual Body Language
MATCH AND MIRROR
AVOID DANGER AREAS Protect your reputations No secrets No visual privacy Accountability
IF ONLY ONE THING?
NEXT STEP ▸ Email Follow-up ▸ NWMincon to 44222 ▸ Sign-up sheet ▸ projectpatch.org/ nwmincon ▸ chuck@projectpatch.org
CONNECT www.projectpatch.org Facebook.com/projectpatch @projectpatch & @chuckhagele 360-690-8495 TodaysFamilyExperience.com
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