Cultural Perceptions and Couple Relations in Mainland China Professor Agn gnes Koon-chui i LA LAW, PhD PhD Qich ichuang Soc ocial l Ser ervice e Ce Center, Guangzhou, Ch Chin ina Cen enter for Social Work Education and Res esearch, Sun Yat-sen University, China. ylk lkc48@yahoo.com 1
Trends: Average ag age at t marria iage National National Guangzhou Guangzhou (1990) (2010) (2010) (2016) Male 23.6 25.9 27.4 30.8 Female 22.0 23.9 25.1 28.2 2
Sex ratio of f married people National National Guangdong Guangdong (2000) (2010) (2010) (2016) 640.2760m 682.3291m 57.6348m 43.3817m Male % 51.5% 51.3% 50.9% 52.4% 602.3363m 650.4818m 41.8433m 52.3552m Female % 48.5% 48.7% 49.1% 47.6% 3
Ra Ratio of f married people in in ea each age gr group National National (2000) (2010) 20-24 31.70% 24.82% 25-29 82.34% 70.04% 35-39 95.39% 93.03% 40-44 94.97% 94.07% 4
Divorce rate of Di of people le ag aged 15 15 an and ab above National National Guangdong Guangzhou (2000) (2010) (2010) (2010) AVG 0.90% 1.38% 0.81% City 1.41% 2.00% 0.91% 1.23% Town 0.92% 1.33% 0.68% Village 0.69% 1.07% 0.70% 5
Educatio ional le level of f married peo eople National National (2000) (2010) Primary level 80.46% 82.20% Post-secondary 67.11% 55.39% 6
Dela laying marriage The number of marriages has been decreasing continuously nationwide for the last three years: 2016 11.33m registered, 13% less than 2014 (www.hkej.com 24/1/2018) 7
Abolishing th the one-child policy Decreasing birth rate In 2016, 17.86m newborn vs 2017, 17.23m, 3.5% lower In 2017 7.24m first children 8.83m second children Indicating an upsurge for having a second child (www.hkej.com 24/1/2018) 8
Tradit itio ional l valu lues affectin ing couple le rela latio ionship ip Family is the most important social unit in the support network of Chinese society. Traditional patriarchal values are implicit in many social, economic and political aspects. Sustaining the family clan and its name, with male as the heir if possible, is significant. Man’s role: in charge of affairs outside of the family Woman’s role: in charge of household chores inside of the family 9
Pre-condit Pre itio ion for r marr rria iage: fin inancia ial l se securit ity Matching family backgrounds of the couple, in terms of: Financial power of the two families Social status of the two families Educational backgrounds of the couple Women prefer to marry up the social ladder Men prefer to marry on the same rung of the ladder or downwards 10
Pre Pre-open door r era: : weddin ing ceremony （ www.xinhuanet.com ） 11
Pre Pre-open door r era: : receiv ivin ing the brid ride （ www.xinhuanet.com ） 12
Sh Showin ing off weddin ing gift ifts: : in in the form rm of gold ld A wedding at Zhongshan, Guangdong (Tencent News Web 11/1/2016) 13
Sh Showin ing off wealt lth at the weddin ing Shouguang Daily 23/4/2011 14
Weddin ing gift ifts: : in in the form rm of cash 15
Décor r of the bedroom of the newly lyweds 16
Receiv ivin ing the brid ride 17
Honorin ing the parents Receiving cash and golden ornaments as gifts in return. 18
Weddin ing banquet Good wishes of the relatives and friends: be prosperous, buy a flat and a car soon, have a baby soon…. 19
Property Left: Mother-in- law: ‘No property, no talk’ （ Fang.com ） Right: Mother-in- law: ‘ No property, no wedding’ （ www.nanhunnvjia.com 20
In In-la law rela latio ionship ips L: Mother and daughter-in-law: fighting for control of the son/husband R: Mother and daughter-in-law: fighting over trivial household matters 21
Aft fter sc school: l: grandparents and parents at t th the sc school l gate （ edu.shenchuang.com 30/09/2013 ） 22
Child ildrearin ing by grandparents (js.people.com.cn 02/09/2015) 23
In Intergeneratio ional l child ildrearin ing 24
‘Left - over’ women To avoid being stigmatized as too-old, left-over women, young women are eager to get married as soon as possible. Men are also eager to get married in order to please the parents and for family succession. Legally, getting married beyond the age of 23 for a woman or 25 for a man is considered “late”. 25
Th The One-chil ild Poli licy In order to control population growth, the one child policy per married couple in urban areas had been enforced since the late 1970s. Social issues arising: The child becomes the focus of attention and care of the two families, 01 especially as both husband and wife are single children of their parents. 02 Family succession is an important goal of the couple, as well as of their parents. 03 Academic achievement of the single child is of primary importance. 26
Transit itio ion to the two-chil ild polic licy In view of the rising ageing population and relatively low birth rate (1.6), the government decided in 2015 to relinquish the one-child policy and allow married couples in urban areas to have two children. This policy has invoked new social issues: Intergenerational conflict over whether the couple should have a second child, especially if the first child is a girl. Dispute between the couple over whether to have a second child, considering the age, health of the wife and family income. 27
Case – We want a so son Five years ago, Ling left her home village to seek work in Guangzhou, the capital city of Guangdong Province. She met her boyfriend, who is also from the rural area. Soon she got pregnant. Her boyfriend’s parents claimed that if the child was a boy, they could get married. Not wanting to have an abortion, she took the chance, but gave birth to a girl. The boyfriend then disappeared and cut off all connection with her. 28
Case – Married to one’s equal Ming, a single child, with good academic ability, eventually became a paediatrician. She married a lawyer three months after they were introduced to each other. She is now 33, and her husband 39, and they have a one-year-old daughter. The husband is always away on business trips and shows little interest in family life. He resents her calling him when he is at work, as it would make him lose face in front of his colleagues. He thinks the wife should take care of the family independently. 29
Case – A sp spoil iled so son Six months ago, Wah married a man who, being the only son, has his daily needs and requirements attended to by his parents, down to the last detail. The husband is always absent from home and has been having an extramarital relationship with another young girl. The parents-in-law told Wah that if she wishes to divorce their son, they will compensate her, as they have done so previously when their son got into trouble with other women, such as arranging an abortion and paying for the expenses. 30
Case – Patria iarchal l domin inance A couple, both university graduates, married a few years ago. Before marriage, the husband always shared the same bedroom with his parents. After the wife had given birth to a baby boy, the parents moved into their bedroom, saying that the air conditioner in their room was out of order. The wife strongly objected. But the husband compromised, allowing them to move in. Only after a fierce fight with the daughter-in-law did the father-in- law move back to his own room. 31
Case – Fighting for an heir for one’s family A couple are both lecturers at a university. The wife is a single child of a rather well-off family. The husband has a brother. So the wife’s family demanded that their grandchild should bear their family name as their heir. The wife gave birth to a baby girl and named her after the wife’s family. The two -child policy was enacted when the first daughter was 10. The couple tried to have a second child. When she was already seven months pregnant, and guessing it was also a girl, the father of the wife urged her to have an abortion and try for another pregnancy. The young mother refused and gave birth to a second baby girl. 32
Case – Fig ightin ing for r an heir ir Another similar case. A couple came from a village that has a strong preference for sons. When the young couple, also university lecturers, gave birth to a son, both families wanted the grandchild to bear their family name. The husband’s family threatened that their son would divorce her. So the wife gave in, letting their daughter use the husband’s surname. For health reasons, the wife, aged 38, was medically advised not to have another child. Her own parents would not give up, but constantly encouraged her to try for another baby, hoping to have a child to bear their family name. 33
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