Building Relationships as Introverts Kayla Thomas Lisette Khalil - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Building Relationships as Introverts

Lisette Khalil Operations Director Kayla Thomas MarComm Manager

LK: Intro to Kayla KT: Intro to Lisette, KT announce ‘ice breaker/social experiment’, LK announce Q+A with question cards

Are you an introvert?

Extrovert vs. Introvert

KT

How do you recharge?

Extrovert Introvert

KT

Other Introvert T raits

Checklist of 23 Signs You’re an Introvert From Huffington Post Interview w/Sophia Dembling, ‘The Introvert’s Way: Live a Quiet Life in a Noisy World”

• You find small talk incredibly cumbersome
• Networking makes you feel like a phony
• You go to parties, but not to meet new people
• You can feel alone in a crowd
• You notice details that others don’t
• You actively avoid shows/performances that might involve

audience participation

• You’re a writer
• You’re in a relationship with an extrovert

LK

Extrovert/Introvert Relationship
 Case Study

• Real live introverts married to extroverts

LK and KT

Introverts 101

What makes us tick?

KT

Introverts 101
 Social Behavior

• We get more energy and recharge when we are

not around other people.

• Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive, but

necessary.

• We literally shut down when it’s time to be alone.

KT

Introverts 101 Social Behavior

KT

Introverts 101
 Work Flow

• Thinking and creating is easier alone than in

groups.

• We alternate between phases of work and

solitude, and periods of social activity.

• We benefit from less office chit chat and thrive on

having serious conversations.

LK

Introverts 101 Work flow

LK

Introverts are awesome because we are:

• Thoughtful
• Observant
• Focused
• Concise
• Able to think through complex issues
• Good listeners
• Independent/self-sufficient

LK with KT additions

Introverts 101

Misconceptions

KT

Introverts ≠

• Shy
• Socially anxious
• Awkward
• Quiet
• Hermits
• Not competitive

KT

Introverts ≠

• http://www.today.com/video/are-you-an-

introvert-heres-how-to-tell-45720643676

KT: Here is a short clip from the Today show. We’ll hear from Carolyn Gregoire of the Huffington Post and Dr. Charles Sophy explain ways to tell, and dispel common misconceptions about introverts.

5 Strategies 
 for Success

Social Behavior

KT

Strategy #1
 Recognize That Y

• u Are an

Introvert GREAT NEWS!

You’re an Introvert!

• Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and

that’s okay.

• We live in an extroverted society, learn to champion your introverted

traits.

• Learn more about your needs and what makes you great.

KT: Quotes from ‘Quiet’ Storytime, KT discovering she was an introvert, dealing with the aftermath, accepting and embracing the label.

Strategy #2
 Create Time for Recharging

Give yourself permission to recharge. It is a necessity.

At Home ~ Self Care: Be Active Take another Nap Listen to Music Get Outside Do an Art Project Enjoy Nature Read a book Meditate Go to a Coffee Shop Take A Nap Organize a ClosetJust Breathe Eat Well Mow the Lawn 5 Min Alone in Car Watch Netflix Plant Flowers Find a Hobby Go to the Spa Pretend your bathroom is the spa

KT

Strategy #3:
 Befriend Other Introverts

• We get each other and aren’t offended by our need to be alone or

quiet.

• We need someone to listen to us too.

BONUS: Tips for our extroverted friends in the room

We love you! Also, we need your support ☺ TIPS to love your introvert:

• 1. ‘Tired’ is code for ‘we’re done with

people’

• 2. If we don’t respond to your text/

email/ESPECIALLY phone call right away, give us time, we just need space.

• 3. We need to be mentally prepared

to see people.

KT

Strategy #4:
 Plan for Y

• ur

Social Experiences

You have plans, now what?

• How full is your battery?
• Prep your people
• Scan for your safe zone
• How to avoid small talk
• Ask Questions!
• Plan your talking points
• Plan for a change in plan
• But if plans cancel…

KT

Strategy #5:
 Create Social Cues for Y

• urself

and Loved Ones

.

• What are your cues that you need to recharge?
• Are you tired? Irritated?
• Short tempered? Brain dead?
• Communicate that you need alone time
• Create a ‘safe’ word
• When is your ‘bubble’

popped?

5 Strategies 
 for Success

Work Flow

The Realities

• There will be meetings
• There will be teams
• Networking is necessary
• Annual fundraisers (ie high social environments) are

required

• Developing relationships is critical to success

Look ahead in your calendar and ask yourself…

• When will my energy account be running on empty?
• After a team meeting?
• After attending a conference?
• After a fundraiser?
• How long will I need to recharge?
• 30 minutes?
• A few hours?
• A few days?

Strategy #1:
 Anticipate Y

• ur

Own Needs

Pre-Meeting/Event/Team Activity:

• Prepare
• What do you need to accomplish?
• What questions will you ask?
• What do you need to say?
• What materials could you bring to speed things along?
• Stock Up On Energy
• Schedule “prep time” on your calendar
• Build in mini-breaks
• Be deliberate about time in the car

Strategy #2:
 Plan Y

• ur Energy

Use

Strategy #3
 Create Time for Recharging

• Be deliberate about making time to recharge alone
• At the Office:
• Build the expectation within your office/team for alone

time:

• Sign on the door time
• Block off time on calendar for think time
• Put phone on “do not disturb” setting
• Turn off Outlook message pop-ups
• Reward colleagues/supervisors who leave you alone by

producing excellent work products that they need!

Strategy #4:
 Schedule Fewer Meetings

Most meetings = energy drain

• How to attend fewer meetings?
• Use a project management tool
• Share a timeline early in a project
• Schedule a pre-project meeting when many decisions are made

rather than spreading them out through a project

• Demonstrate efficiency in lieu of meetings

Example off hours – staffing office on a Saturday when student intern is working. Office is quiet, we get tons of work done, everyone is happy.

Strategy #5:
 Recognize the Gift of the Extrovert

Let the extroverts use their gifts too!

Your extrovert colleagues love to talk. Let them talk!

• Buddy up at a networking event. Let your buddy ask

questions, tell stories, and introduce both of you to the room

• Position extroverts at events as greeters, crowd flow,

floaters, etc.

• Prep extroverts with efficiency tools prior to meetings

(timelines, lists, processes, etc)

Introversion at Work

Marketing and Communications

Example A:


Set the Pace for Communications

Make it Manageable

• Take a beat
• Even in the digital world, you do not need to respond immediately
• Acknowledge, respond when ready
• “Thanks for your comment. I’m thinking about this and will get back to

you later.”

• “I’m not able to commit to anything over the phone, but send me an

email and I’ll check out the information.”

• “I only have a few moments before my next meeting, but will gladly look

at this later in the week.”

• Find communication tools
• Say Hello to Trello
• https://trello.com/wwhf

Example B:


Carve out Creative Time

• Put out notifications for staff

to preserve brain space

• But be inviting ☺

Introversion at Work

Development and Operations

Example A:
 A Different T ake

• n

Development

Development:

• Grant Writing
• Annual Appeal
• One-on-one meetings with funders
• Give a tour ~ Show your org
• Pepper in touches that are not face-to-face
• Be the conductor ~ coordinate, facilitate, prepare (not schmooze)
• Be yourself

Look for roles that can be accomplished well individually. Grant writing & management We are good listeners. Listen to donors and learn about their connection to the organization. We cut to the chase and are authentic ~ breath of fresh air We want less frequent, meaningful interactions

• https://targetingfundraisingtalent.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/intro-

extrovert-infographic.png

Example B:
 Position Y

• urself

For Success

Employer

• Share detailed job duties
• “Introverts welcome”
• Incorporate practical skills exercises into interview process
• Deliberately plan employee work spaces

Employee

• Focus on your strengths
• Carefully examine job duties and anticipate which ones will be most

draining

• Writing skills are key

Introvert Resources

Huffington Post: 23 Signs You’re Secretly An Introvert HubSpot: Think Marketing Is Just for Extroverts? 4 Things Introverts Bring to the Table Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts TED TALK Susan Cain: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

Questions?

Lisette Khalil Operations Director Wisconsin Women’s Health Foundation Wwhf.org lkhalil@wwhf.org Kayla Thomas Marketing and Communication Manager Wisconsin Women’s Health Foundation Wwhf.org kthomas@wwhf.org

Wwhf.org Facebook.com/wiwomenshealth Youtube.com/wiwomenshealth @wiwomenshealth