A spoonful of sugar: Harnessing language to achieve your goals - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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A spoonful of sugar: Harnessing language to achieve your goals - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Jun 19, 2023 413 likes •1.18k views

A spoonful of sugar: Harnessing language to achieve your goals Ceri Newton-Sargunar @HotCupOfTeaPls. ffgtjkhvnmk mj; ;/# Shift no. 1: Goal framing Shift no. 2: Side-stepping our monkey minds Shift no. 3: Re-directing

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A spoonful of sugar: Harnessing language to achieve your goals

Ceri Newton-Sargunar @HotCupOfTeaPls.

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ffgtjkhvnmk mj’; ;’/’#

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Shift no. 2: Side-stepping

  • ur monkey

minds Shift no. 3: Re-directing self-sabotage Shift no. 1: Goal framing

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How you think about your goals How you plan to achieve them Affects your chance of success and

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Shift no. 1: Goal framing

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“Get Better” “Be Good”

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“Get Better”

Focus: growth Proof: mastery No link between performance and self worth

@HotCupOfTeaPls “Be Good”

Focus: ability Proof: (perfect) performance Performance tied to sense

  • f self worth
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Goal: Happiness

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The more highly you value happiness as a goal, the more depressed and unhappy you may feel

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Expectancy Value Theory

“Be Good” Unexpected challenge / obstacle + Lower expectations of success = Less likely to attempt a task

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Expectancy Value Theory

“Get Better” Unexpected challenge / obstacle + Lower expectations of success = Less impact on motivation

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Core Values Why are you here? Why are you doing this? What do you like about what you do? What is important to you (at work)? What would you improve?

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Improved:

Motivation Decision-making Creativity Energy Focus Awareness Relationships Confidence @HotCupOfTeaPls

“Daily - for one minute, each hour”

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@HotCupOfTeaPls

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@HotCupOfTeaPls

IDEALS: I really want to be more… (I want recognition, praise) OUGHTS: I should probably be more… (I owe it to people…)

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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“I want recognition for my hard work!”

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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@HotCupOfTeaPls

“I ought to, I owe it to people”

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Creative, abstract thinkers Focus on achievement, gains and recognition Motivated by positive feedback De-motivated by risk of failure or negative feedback

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Motivation decreases with safety.

@HotCupOfTeaPls

Focus on fulfilling responsibility, and avoiding mistakes, failure or loss. Seeking safety, vigilant against negative feedback.

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Shift no. 2: Side-stepping our Monkey Minds

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Stress makes your body release cortisol Neurological mechanisms are impaired Language and tonal output is affected Language perception (ie criticism, attack) is affected Self control reduces

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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As if by magic…

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As a site visitor, I can read current news on the home page so that I stay current on agile news.

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As a site visitor, I want to be able to read current news on the home page so I will be able to stay current on agile news.

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As a site visitor, I want to be able to read current news on the home page so I will be able to stay current on agile news. If I am not able to read current news on the home page I won’t be able to stay current on agile news.

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Stress makes your body release cortisol Neurological mechanisms are impaired Language production (ie control of critical inner voice) is affected Language perception (ie criticism, attack) is affected Self control reduces Judgement is impaired We become more judgemental

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Existing habits are exaggerated

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“Rational” thought

@HotCupOfTeaPls

  • 1. How is the

first object better than the second?

  • 2. How did the

second object cause suffering in the world?

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“Rational” thought

@HotCupOfTeaPls

The very nature

  • f thought allows

anything to be mentally related, in any way.

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@HotCupOfTeaPls I do, I don’t I should, I shouldn’t Sorry Yes, and… Us, we,

  • urs

I get to I, me, mine You, yours Thank-you No I am fortunate to be able to do this. If I had a choice, I would choose… I am obligated to do this. There is disparity between what I say… I am alone, isolated. We are

  • separate. We are not alike…

This is good, it has potential to be

  • great. I am happy and content…

We are united. We are in this

  • together. We are part of…

This is no good. It has to change. I am not happy, I do not like this… I am strong. I appreciate your

  • input. You have value to me…

I am in the wrong. I am flawed. I am weak. I am less than you… This is a part of who I am, it forms my identity. There is a clear… I have to I am obligated to do this. If I had a choice, I would not choose…

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@HotCupOfTeaPls I should, I shouldn’t Sorry I have to Yes, and… Us, we,

  • urs

I get to Thank-you No I am fortunate to be able to do this. If I had a choice, I would choose… I am obligated to do this. There is disparity between what I say… I am obligated to do this. If I had a choice, I would not choose… This is good, it has potential to be

  • great. I am happy and content…

We are united. We are in this

  • together. We are part of…

This is no good. It has to change. I am not happy, I do not like this… I am strong. I appreciate your

  • input. You have value to me…

I am in the wrong. I am flawed. I am weak. I am less than you… I do, I don’t This is a part of who I am, it forms my identity. There is a clear… I, me, mine You, yours I am alone, isolated. We are

  • separate. We are not alike…
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@HotCupOfTeaPls Yes, and… Us, we,

  • urs

I get to Thank-you I do, I don’t

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“I do”

@HotCupOfTeaPls

“I should” “I shouldn’t” “I do not”

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do not

  • r

Do,

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Shift no. 3: Re-directing self- sabotage

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Emotional contagion, And your Critical Inner Voice Neural resonance,

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Stress makes your body release cortisol Neurological mechanisms are impaired Language production (ie control of critical inner voice) is affected Language perception (ie criticism, attack) is affected Self control reduces Judgement is impaired We become more judgemental

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Critical Inner Voice

(AKA Inner Critic, Self Doubt)

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“You’ll never be successful” “You can’t do this” “You ALWAYS mess things up” “You’re not like other people” “You don’t know anything!”

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Mental Contrasting

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“You’ll never be successful” “You can’t do this” “You don’t know anything!” Why not? What do I need to learn more about? Why not? What, every single time? When did I NOT do that? What can I change? What’s stopping me? What can I do instead? How can I change that? “You’re not like

  • ther people”

In what ways? How can I use that? Says who? “You ALWAYS mess things up” @HotCupOfTeaPls

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The act of planning where and when creates a link between The situation

  • r cue

and The behaviour that needs to follow

@HotCupOfTeaPls

If… (event), then… (behaviour) If - Then

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Identify something you'd like to achieve, that fits with your values. Identify a likely

  • bstacle to

achieving this goal. What would a happy outcome look like? Identify at least one positive aspect. How will you

  • vercome this
  • bstacle?

“If... (event) then... (new behaviour)” (as if…)

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Stress makes your body release cortisol Neurological mechanisms are impaired Language production (ie control of critical inner voice) is affected Language perception (ie criticism, attack) is affected Self control reduces Judgement is impaired We become more judgemental

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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Existing habits are exaggerated

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Shift no. 3: Re-directing self-sabotage Shift no. 1: Goal framing Shift no. 2: Side-stepping

  • ur monkey

minds

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Thanks!

@HotCupOfTeaPls

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@HotCupOfTeaPls

We can’t control the sea but we can learn to surf the waves