2020 TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction Page 3 MISAKI KAMEYAMA: Taking - - PDF document

CLASS 12 INDEPENDENT PROJECTS

2020

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction Page 3 MISAKI KAMEYAMA: Taking air down onto paper Page 4 ANAIS KNIGHT: Earth to Anais Page 6 JESSIE-JOYCE DAVIDSON: My First Zine Page 8 POLLY MAZE: The Female Form Page 10 LOLA SARROT: The Dias Project Page 12 HARRY ARMSTRONG-COOP: Hung Up - A Short Film Page 14 SADIE ALEXANDER: Youthline Training Page 16 GRACE RYAN: Building Balance Page 18 RUBY LEGG: Dancing Through Dreams Page 20 INDIA FRITH: Little Preludes Page 22 JESS WIGLEY: Reconnecting with Music Page 24 NIKO GOIJARTS: Cutting Down to Earth Page 26 ANGEL PFAFF: Microphotography Page 27 TOBY LANGE: Build Ups Page 28 GEORGIA MCKENZIE: My Language Page 30 FYNN REES: Politically Speaking Page 31

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Independent Projects are an integral part of the class 12 programme in most Steiner Schools including Michael Park.

They allow students to explore a challenging topic of their choice about which they are passionate, which they present to the community at the end. In most years this presentation to the public takes the form of displays and presentations in the Auditorium, and we were in the fjnal stages of preparing for this on August

• 11. Then Auckland entered the second lockdown

for Covid 19, and everything changed. Class 12 could not wait for a future date, as they have all their other commitments to their qualifjcations, so we decided to publish a collection of pieces to present their projects to the public in a different form. The title “Dialogue between the Inner and the Outer” came from a look at the projects as a whole, as when we grouped them in an overview pattern we became aware that while each person’s work is their own dialogue between their inner self and the outward practical work associated with this, in the group as a whole there are some which are more to do with the inner intangible side of being human, and some which are fjrmly grounded in the outer world. This is particularly true this year, due to the nature of the people in this particular class 12, and what they have gone through in this year of Covid. We chose to use Misaki’s picture of the turtle on the cover as a being who moves effortlessly between two different worlds of water and air. Initially, Class 12 2020 students had these aspirations for their IPs:

• Exploring and sharing a passion
• Challenging myself with new, different

discoveries in something that may be familiar or unfamiliar

• Something personal and individual that

complements / sheds new light on the rest of my life

• Enjoyable and fun
• The peaceful eye of the storm
• A contrast to schoolwork

Then Covid happened, we were locked down for the fjrst time, and everything changed. Some of their ideas could not be done in isolation, though some were given a burst of energy and time. What has happened because of this is that a group who are naturally quite introspective have been forced to spend even more time looking inward, and this has meant some changes to most of their projects – some minor, some total. Some of their projects were always going to be a work in progress, but for some this has become even more of a reality as the time available was curtailed. Here are their refmections on their Independent

• Projects. There was not a set format, but they

have chosen a way of talking about the experience that best suited them and what they

• did. For me, they are heart-warming,

inspirational, moving experiences that I feel privileged to have been a part of. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

Jane Patterson

DIALOGUE BETWEEN THE INNER AND THE OUTER Class 12 Independent Projects 2020

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For my class 12 Independent Project I have learnt to produce airbrush art. This came about from my idea of wanting to learn something completely new that I’ve never been associated with or heard mentioned before in my life. When I fjrst started thinking about the topic for my IP at the end of last year, I thought about maybe doing things like cake decorating or making those ships inside

• bottles. But I couldn’t fjnd myself connecting

with these and see much signifjcance in completing them. It could have been a fun IP but I couldn’t see it going any further than just a project. My class 12 IP was going to be my last signifjcant task at this school. One of the things that this school offers that I have come to love is art but looking into the future and what I want to study at uni, art becomes left

• behind. So I wanted to do something with art

and fjnd a way to round off my creative childhood which took me to this IP. I had initially never even heard of airbrushing and it was only when my dad suggested it to me that I came to know of its existence. When I was fjrst researching airbrush art, I didn't hold much interest in it and I was put off from the style which included vibrant paintings of skulls

• r fmames and wasn’t the style I usually associate

myself with. It was only after further research and realising the textures it could achieve that it began to appeal to me. With this I decided to take up the challenge to produce art with the airbrush in my own sort of style and that was my initial plan and the plan that I somehow was able to keep until this very day despite covid. Before explaining my process further, I would like to briefmy touch on what airbrush art is and show you a couple of pieces I have done which demonstrate the textures it can achieve. I like to describe the airbrush as a mixture between spray painting and a normal paintbrush. Like spraying painting, it produces that very smooth texture but it also allows you to do fjner details like a normal paint brush. (Picture 1: painting of turtle) Here is one of my earlier and most favorite pieces that is fully done with the airbrush. I achieved the crisp lines with the use of stencils which is a technique I incorporate in most of my pieces. (Slide 2: painting of orca, slide 3: painting of jellyfjsh, slide 4: painting of penguins) These next pieces are partially done with the airbrush and the rest with a normal paintbrush. My initial idea in developing the skill necessary for the airbrush was to attend a short airbrushing course. There were a couple of really good courses that I could attend which really excited me. However, I was never able to attend these courses, either overlapping with

TAKING AIR DOWN ONTO PAPER Misaki Kameyama

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school or due to the Covid crisis. At the end I was left to teach myself which wasn’t as diffjcult as I had thought but still a challenge. My dad had some basic understanding of how to use the airbrush and being a mechanic, he was able to handle all the technical diffjculties which I am still super grateful for. I found a couple of YouTube tutorials that seemed very useful, but I easily got bored with them and went straight into trying to do proper paintings. After getting a basic idea of how it works, it became no different to using a normal paintbrush. I still can’t achieve fjne details but I manage to work around that through doing the detailed areas with the paint brush or making stencils. The most useful technique I have associated with the airbrush is the use of stencils. It allows me to create sharp defjned lines which is incredibly hard to achieve with the airbrush alone. Looking at the art I have just shown you, you’ve probably realized that a lot of it was to do with sea life with some plastic woven in. The big advantage for this IP was that I could integrate it with my art board for NCEA. I would recommend any future students that you integrate your IP with your other subjects if you can as it will take a lot

• f stress off you, especially if you are aiming for

something like Biomedicine like I am. Overall I think that my IP was a success when considering all the things that have been happening this year and it has taught me a great deal, not only to do with the airbrush but about

• myself. My IP has been an important journey

because it has taught me my weaknesses but also provided me with a place of escape. I have always just thought of art as a ‘favourite subject’ but I now realise that it holds more meaning than

• that. Although it requires a lot of concentration, it

gives me a moment to escape from reality and forget about the stress from everyday life. I think that this realisation will hold more importance in the future when I enter the real world and have to face tougher moments. In saying that, the future I currently see myself in is far from art, but I don’t think that this will change anything about my current relationship with art. I have now learnt that you do not necessarily have to relate what you love with your career to carry it along with you on your journey. I am in some ways glad that art is far from my future career as it will forever stay as my happy place.

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My blog can be found at https:// earthtoanais.com/ if you would like to check it

• ut.
• Sustainability. This word sustainability is thrown

around a lot in the modern day which is why the purpose of my independent project was to do an exploration of what living sustainably means to me. The only way to make sustainability truly sustainable is to ensure that your personal actions refmect your values in a way that works for you and this is what I set out to discover more about. To begin my independent project, I knew I wanted to further my knowledge and overall consciousness about the environment so that I could be more mindfully sustainable. But I didn’t want to it to be all just about myself, I wanted to share my learnings with others to help my community do better too. I strongly believe that environmental consciousness fjts well with the ethos of our school and so, I wanted to revitalise the Enviro Group. To begin with, I needed a teacher representative to join the team. This happened through a chance conversation with our principal, Mr Storer. With a background in ecology and a strong interest in the environment he was a perfect fjt. To work on sustainability in my personal life, I wanted to make some mental space to observe if my actions are aligned with my values around living sustainably, on a daily basis. I have done this by journaling daily, planning and making educated, considered choices in my everyday life where I constantly think of the long-term impacts of my actions rather than just short- term convenience. Over the past 8 months, I have been actively trying to educate myself about waste and recycling systems in New Zealand, reduce my waste production, take public transport wherever possible, eat a completely plant-based diet and buy second hand or support local, ethical and sustainable

• businesses. Picking up rubbish from beaches

and roadsides has also become a part of my daily routine. And then, the mystery that was COVID-19 found its way to New Zealand and lockdown

• happened. Just before this, I decided that my

independent project wasn’t ticking all the boxes for me. I felt that I was too focused on the “giving to the community” aspect through the enviro group and I wasn’t doing enough of the personal refmection aspect. One of the ideas I came up with to change this was to create a sustainable living personal blog and funnily enough, the nationwide lockdown in late March challenged me to do just this. The lockdown made it extra diffjcult to move forward with the Enviro Group which encouraged me to look at

• ther ways I could fulfjl the purpose of my IP

which is where the blog idea came in. The blog represents a larger community that I could share my personal thoughts, opinions and learnings with about sustainable living. I chose to call my blog Earth to Anais because it is

EARTH TO ANAIS Anais Knight

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largely about the Earth, often in relation to me, and it “earthed” or grounded me in a time of such uncertainty. I wanted to write about gardening, low waste living, mindfulness, composting, recipes, book and documentary reviews, sustainable fashion and more! I felt inspired and ready to write. So in the thick of struggling to complete assessments

• ver lockdown, I began this process by

purchasing my domain (which is the name and link to the page) from Wordpress as I wrote a post about living sustainably to suit your values. After fjnishing writing this, it took over a week to post as I was never quite satisfjed. Refmecting back on this feeling, I see that I felt insecure about sharing something so personal to me on an online platform for everyone to see because everybody has their own views and opinions so I was worried and anxious about receiving judgement on my own. However, I have been pleasantly surprised as I have only received love and encouragement from all my readers which has given me more confjdence to share my

• pinions.

From here, I moved on to writing a post that introduced myself to my readers. I felt this was much needed despite it seeming a bit backwards to do things in this order. After posting this, I wrote an article introducing fast fashion. My aim was to educate people about the impacts of the clothing industry and inspire them to support more responsible, transparent businesses such as second-hand stores, ethical, eco-friendly and local businesses with more circular business

• models. This was very well timed as at the time I

was writing this, Cathy and Tarquin approached Ruby, Grace and I about organising the Sustain-a- ball in lead up to our ball. By getting second hand ball dresses and formal wear donated to us from the community we were giving these dresses a new life and reducing the unsustainable culture of consumerism that generally surrounds school balls. This event was a great success with over $1000 raised for the “I’ve Got Your BackPack” charity and many beautiful dresses were rehomed! It was so delightful to recognise so many dresses bought from the Sustain-a-ball looking absolutely stunning on the lovely people at our ball. Over the course of this weird year, I have thoroughly enjoyed writing the blog; it has been a space for me to be creatively free and share things that are most important to me. I still hadn’t given up hope on the Enviro Group though!! We had formed a team where we squeezed one meeting in before lockdown and it was great to see everyone’s enthusiasm. The workshop I was going to attend with Mr Storer to learn the skills for carrying out the Enviroschools Bronze refmection process (don’t worry, at the time I had no idea what this was either!) had been cancelled due to the lockdown. Luckily, they created a virtual course later on which was super helpful. I was the only student amongst a whole swag of teachers which was a bit daunting but I am familiar the facilitators which helped. This workshop gave me some much-needed insight into what the Bronze Refmection really is and I hope to carry out this process before I leave at the end of the year. This latest lockdown adds another element of challenge though… there’s just not enough time! Like I was saying, this workshop gave me clarity around what the milestones of the Enviroschools programme are. For us at Michael Park, we are a registered Enviroschool but nobody knew of this, not even Mr Storer, the principal! Now that we are working towards our fjrst refmection, we are exploring what we are currently doing and laying foundations for the Enviroschools Kaupapa of creating a healthy, peaceful, sustainable world through learning and taking action. This project has been everything I expected, and

• more. In previous years at school, I have been

very keen to start an Enviro Group at Michael Park but before kicking off, I realised that I needed to have something to share that people could get behind which is why I chose the goal of completing our Bronze Enviro Refmection. I didn’t expect how valuable these workshops with

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Enviroschools would be in guiding me through this and making it seem achievable and I hope that I can impart this onto/do the same for my team in the Enviro Group. This project has been a sort of test that I have set myself to see if my passion for sustainability could hold true for the entire year. A test to see if I truly wanted to follow/chase this passion in my next steps in life. And I can assure you that it certainly has. My passion for environmental and societal sustainability has led me to being on the organising team

• f School Strike 4 Climate NZ, stepping up

to leadership roles in the Auckland Council led initiative Young Leader’s Sustainability Programme, building up my blog page and leading the MPS Enviro Group. All this proves to myself that I have the capacity to follow through with my goals for further study and involvement in environmental science and sustainability. Throughout this journey I have learnt a lot more about the way in which I want to share my passion for the environment. I have deepened my understanding of my place in this movement and I feel ready to go out into the world and make waves. (Editor’s note: Jess’s grandmother died during the class 12 play, and she left immediately after the fjnal performance to join her family in Ireland.) For my IP I didn't know what I wanted to do, and with the way the year had gone so far for me it wasn't something I could worry about. From the end of play to when I made it back home from Ireland I just let it be. Arriving back in NZ was sad but also a relief. We had made it back home but we had also just left a lot of family during quite different and strange times. If I think back to when I heard the news of my grandmother passing to the end of the whole lockdown in NZ I can remember all of the support and love I got from my family and

• friends. My friends were there for me and my

family was there going through the same things as I was. I think that because I had never lost anyone close to me before that this really hit me hard and because I'm someone who feels very strongly and is very in touch with my emotions that it strongly impacted me. But as heartbroken as it was for me and my family, I knew it was the right time for her to go, and I think that it made me strongly appreciate my friends and family so much more. Which led me to think about my IP and what I wanted to do for

• it. I remember watching a youtube video on a

bunch of young creators who created zines of all different types to either showcase their own art or to get a message out to the world. As I researched more and more about zines I knew that this was defjnitely something that I wanted to do, I wanted to create one of my own. Now that I had decided what I wanted to do I now had to decide what my zine was going to be about, and with everything that I had been

MY FIRST ZINE Jessie-Joyce Davidson

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thinking about around that time I decided that I wanted to create a zine about my family and friends, people that I love and appreciate a lot. It would be something that I can cherish and keep with me. So this was my original idea and its purpose was mainly thinking about and appreciating your loved ones. As time went on and we came to level 2 and were allowed to go back to school my idea of what I wanted my zine to be about

• changed. I think because of how

sad I was I didn't think it was the right time for me to create that type of zine. Though I do want to make it one day I think it will be quite a big project. I also didn't want to share it with other people I didn't know so well as it would more be something for myself. So I changed my idea, still making a zine but instead have it be a collection of my art and

• photography. This would then

still give me a chance to make a zine and also to document my art and photography from my last year at school. I started by doing research and watching videos on how other people have created their own zines to draw inspiration and fjgure out where to start. I then also made a board on pinterest to collect images that inspired me creatively so I could have that to look back on if I ever got stuck. The next step for me was getting indesign so that I could digitally make my photography zine, this included compiling all of my photos from this year together so that I could then start ordering them in a way that would partially make sense. For me my IP was something that took me a while to decide, at the start I had ideas but they weren't ever solid ideas. But once I just let go of it and let it be the idea of making a zine fjnally came to me. Even though I didn't follow through with my fjrst idea for my zine I think that the idea and cause of that idea was what I learnt the most from. Losing someone is never easy but it does make you think. For me it really made me appreciate my loved

• nes so much more and to really

just be in the moment when I have time with them. In Ireland I did get sad but there were also many happy moments with all of them. I think that two weeks in Ireland and then the two weeks in quarantine I really just got to be happy as I was constantly surrounded by the people I loved. Going back to school after all that time I had with them was very hard for me and I think that was because I wasn't as surrounded by my family and I was back in the ‘real world’. I also think that this project of making a zine gave me more tools to express my

• creativity. I'm not sure where my

future is headed and hopefully I'll fjgure that out during my gap year but as I'm quite a creative person I think the zine has given me a way to express myself and also to compile my art all together in a way that I can draw more inspiration from again in the future.

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Originally, I wanted to do my IP on body image, and how women in particular are subject to criticism from the society and culture in the world which promotes unhealthy weight loss schemes including excessive exercise, diets, fasting, diet pills and many more. I wanted to cover everything on female body image, getting input from others and gathering research about the topic, eventually producing a range of art pieces. I began by just playing with clay during ceramics, moulding female torsos which I found fun as I hadn’t really sculpted anything in clay before. When lockdown happened it was diffjcult continuing with my clay work, although I had some clay, I didn’t have access to a kiln. I really enjoyed using clay to show different body types and colours, and I started wanting to focus on breasts. This was when I started feeling restricted in my topic choice, as I see body image as more about size and shape, which can be applied to breasts too, but I became very angry with men and how they pressured women into thinking a certain way about their bodies and dressing a certain way and dictating what we are allowed to show or do or talk about. This was when I decided to broaden my topic to women, or the ‘Female Form’. When I did this, I feel like my IP really started to become more internal rather than external. I began focusing more on myself rather than other people and I came to realise my IP is about discovering myself as a woman and being confjdent in my body. I continued making my female torsos in pottery, as well as sculpting breasts out of clay. Something I feel strongly about is the need for women to hide their breasts. The purpose of breasts are to feed babies, but they have been

• ver sexualised by society and it is considered

improper to have them on display in situations where it is totally normal for a man to have his shirt off, like at a beach or when it just gets too

• hot. I’m not saying all women want to have their

breasts out, or not wear a bra, but it should be an option, if it is for men. Apart from simply not wishing to show one’s breasts there are many women who are scared to show off their bodies, this is also seen in skirt length, necklines, the tightness

• f clothing and more. It’s really sad that women

who feel or are trying to feel comfortable in their bodies have the fear of someone taking advantage of them, judging them, whether for the way their body looks, or the fact that they had the ‘audacity’ to display it so publicly. I am fully aware that women are not the only

• nes who face these issues, but we do face it a

lot more, and to a much higher degree. I wanted to do more than sculpt bodies out of clay, so when a script writing internal came up

THE FEMALE FORM Polly Maze

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in Media studies an idea popped into my head. I wrote my ‘Mirror Image’ script about a seventeen year old girl called Blair who has anorexia and is

• nly aware of her own issues involving food and

weight, until she realises her little sister Elle has started copying her behaviours. Originally, I was thinking I would take a very artistic approach with my script, with writing all over the girl, and possibly blood, but then I started thinking about a little girl looking in the mirror too but hidden from the elder. Then I started wondering about their names and characters and why this was happening, so I started writing and it just took on a plot of its own. I loved writing this script and it reminded me of how much I love writing. I have struggled with my body for years; hating it, hiding it, hurting it and trying to make it ‘perfect’ and my conclusion is that it is exhausting. I really tried to emulate the feelings of having an eating disorder and all of the things that contributed to it developing and also the effects it has on

• thers. The effect on others was something I

really wanted to talk about, because so few people realise that their actions have consequences on the people around them. Every diet you go on, every fjtness, weight loss programme you take up, whenever you talk negatively or focus too much on yours or somebody else’s body, using words like ‘fjt’ or ‘fat’, or ‘skinny’, drawing a lot of attention to food and what is ‘healthy’ or ‘too much’ can have massive impact on a person. It is insane the amount of people that say things like this and don’t even realise they are saying anything even mildly wrong because it is so ingrained into our culture as humans to care so much about the way we look that it just comes naturally. I really want people to think through what they are saying or doing and at least register that it isn’t okay, because, instead of fjt, fat or skinny, the only categories I see are underweight, normal weight and obese; as long as your body doesn’t negatively impact you physically, then your body is fjne and just keep doing what you are doing and don’t think about it. It’s hard to forget about though, because the ideal for how a woman should look is a very strong image that is promoted by people, the media and all of this is

• internalised. I really hope this message comes

across in my script, which is being cut down and made into a fjlm by some level 2 Media students, so it is exciting that it will be produced, although not exactly how I imagined. I got a tattoo about a month ago of a small crescent moon which represents Artemis and women and I love it. I just thought I’d mention this because it helped connect me to my body more somehow and it gives me a sense of empowerment, thinking that I am a part of something bigger at the same time, a part of women. I can’t say I love my body, because that would be

• untrue. I have started wearing shorter clothes

which was a little anxiety provoking, but it is becoming easier and it feels empowering to think that I look good, (which is a really hard statement to make, but I thought I’d put in anyway). It is really hard to show the fjnal product for this, I think, as it isn’t really fjnal, but ongoing, though I have tried to create pieces that capture the essence of what my IP is. I am glad I chose this topic, because it really pushed me into an uncomfortable place and I'm proud of what I have achieved. I really hope to carry what I have learnt with me as I deal with the real world next year, and that I keep learning, because I still have a long way to go in accepting and loving myself. I was reminded by how much I love creating things through this IP and am reconsidering my career options because I realise that my life would feel lacking somehow if I am not creating, but I also feel a need to help people somehow. I am not confjdent in my writing ability but I enjoy doing it so I will fjgure out what I am doing next year when I take my gap year. I don’t know where I’m going, but I do know that in order to keep going and fjnd out where that is, I need to trust myself and be confjdent enough to show myself to others and believe in myself and my goals, and to hopefully one day be able to say ‘I love myself’ and mean it.

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My original idea was to create an animated short fjlm based on several personal experiences and put them into one ‘day in the life’ style story. I wanted to explore my own mental health and how I see myself, as well as let other people experience (through a visual medium) some of the emotions felt during things like anxiety and depression. I also wanted to try and complete (or at least start) an animation, as every animation I had done prior I gave up on or abandoned, and a short fjlm felt like a good start. As time went on I realised I didn’t want my animation to be based off me, as it felt too personal and considering I already explored the instances I had in mind, I wanted to explore something bigger. I decided to focus more on anxiety for my fjlm because it had more meaning to me this year and I liked the amount

• f potential visual things I could convey it as. As

well as this I wanted this fjlm to let other people see into what anxiety was, so I decided to create a small cast of characters from scratch and separate from the real world, with most infmuence coming from friends’ stories, knowledge I acquired through research and smaller animators I really liked rather than myself. The style and story of my animation changed but it happened more as a progression of my style and ideas rather than purposeful change. I spent a lot of time developing the story and characters in my head before putting anything down on paper, because I wanted to let the evolutions of thoughts be free and not feel like I had to stick to what I had written down. I also spent a lot of time researching computers and trying to fjnd the ideal one for me and my needs, (which turned out to be more troublesome than I thought). With covid, it took several months to get my computer which slowed me down exponentially. This year I also went to a professional counsellor for the fjrst time in my life to start the journey of bettering myself and my mental wellbeing. I thought it might be good to do the animation and the beginning of my own journey at the same time since they are both topics I care for very deeply and are quite personal for me. Through this process I learnt a lot about myself and how I function, feel and solve problems, as well as learning more about my mental heath, how it affects me and how I can deal with it. It has been a journey of personal growth I have been wanting to start for a long time and I feel happy that I started it. The things I have learnt, both in respect to myself and the craft of animation have been immensely valuable and really benefjcial for my

• future. A lot of the things that counselling

provided me with are things I can carry with me for the rest of my life and use, perhaps even share with others and help them. I feel like I have grown as a person as well, if only through exploring my emotions more. On a practical side, having done an animation, or at least some of one, is great experience for animating/ fjlming commercially and in university (fjlming in general as animating teaches almost all the same things in terms of story, camera, colour, etc…) which is what I hope to pursue in uni. As for the value of my animation in itself, I would hope that at the least, it provides an interesting and entertaining short fjlm people will like, and at most, provide an engaging and personal look into anxiety and letting people experience it to some level, making them understand and acknowledge it, and maybe even do more research on the subject.

THE DIAS PROJECT Lola Sarrot

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When I entered high school, my passion for fjlm and media was ignited. I had been surrounded by different forms of media for my entire life but never knew what actually occurred behind the

• scenes. I had heard many exciting things about

media studies from older students and I was curious to learn about fjlm. In 2018 (NCEA level 1) I made a short fjlm which dealt with teen suicide and a comedic instructional video on how to walk your dog. In 2019 I decided to drop science and take photography instead. I made this change because I was not interested in science and I found myself to be completely unmotivated in that area. I met my photography teacher Miss G and was immediately inspired. I learnt how to compose an effective image using techniques such as lighting, mise en scene, and colour which deepened my understanding of

HUNG UP - A SHORT FILM Harry Armstrong-Coop

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• cinematography. That

year, I also directed and edited a short horror fjlm in media studies. 2020 started out great. My passion for drama was revived with my role as Peer Gynt in our play, Peer Gynt. It was a major success and was sold out

• n both nights. Through

this experience our class truly became whole. We were ready to tackle the year and nothing could get in our way, except of course, everything. When Covid-19 hit New Zealand we were thrown into quarantine, forced to self- manage our education while struggling to maintain our sanity. With all the time that I had, I couldn’t think of an idea for my independent project that truly motivated me. After many dire days inside I fjnally made the decision to write, direct and fjlm a series of short

• fjlms. However, with the time of our freedom

uncertain, I was sceptical about how I would produce an engaging series of fjlms, let alone any fjlm with the minimal resources I had at my

• disposal. So I decided to make a single 5 minute

short fjlm. The plot was inspired by a story that my mum told me about one of her psychotherapy clients who was physically abused and abandoned as a child. However, he managed to escape that life and become a successful husband and father. I didn’t hesitate for a moment. It was a powerful story with a perfectly constructed plot. It explored important issues that we as a society are facing and should be talking about. I grabbed my laptop and started writing immediately. I hadn’t done much story writing before so it was all very new to me. But with the help of various youtube channels I was able to create an engaging story with an emotionally powerful protagonist. I was only a few days away from fjlming my last scene when I heard there was a second outbreak

• f Covid-19 in Auckland. The presentations were

less than a week away and I had half a bloody

• fjlm. However, due to the less serious conditions
• f level 3 lockdown I was able to fjlm the scene

before the prime minister made an announcement with the possibility of level 4 lockdown. Although there is much room for improvement and many things that I would’ve liked to add to it, I am extremely happy with the outcome given the hellish circumstances I faced.

A Short Synopsis

After running away from home due to being abused by his single father, Ilir attempts to reconnect with his father via phone call. However, due to his age and mental state, his father Connor is unable to recall what happened to Ilir. He assumes that he had passed away when he was 15, 20 years prior. The neglect and abuse he received from his father fuels Ilir’s love for his son Elijah and his determination to provide him with the happy childhood that he never had.

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For my IP I decided to go through the training to be a Youthline counsellor. My mom used to work at Lifeline as a phone counsellor and my whole life she has told me stories about the kinds of people she helped and what an impact having someone to talk to had on them. She told me one story about a woman who called almost every day and 10 years later sent a letter to the lifeline thanking the person who she talked to on the phone which was my mom. I think my interest in psychology came from me being a more quiet person who just sits back and observes. I've always just noticed the way people act and I'm always interested in why they make the decisions they do and say the things they say. Something that I'm also really conscious of is the lack of help for mental health within New Zealand and actually all countries but especially with New Zealand since we do have a very high suicide rate. I myself as well as a lot of people I know have struggled with mental health issues and have had such a diffjcult time just trying to get any form of counselling that doesn't cost $150 an hour and that will really help. I actually called Youthline when I was a kid one time when I was 7 because my brother was being really annoying, and that’s just an example of the variety of calls the helpline gets. I expected the training to be quite clinical and straightforward - we’d have a book in front of us and it is written that when the caller says one thing we say a specifjc phrase. My end goal wasn’t to be a full on Youthline counsellor, it was to learn as much as I could about myself, people and counselling. I also had a personal goal that I wanted to be more of an open person, especially with people who I had just met. I wanted to be more outgoing and friendly but for me that goes hand and hand with being open. To be a counsellor at Youthline you need to go through the three phases of training: Personal Development, Basic youth and community counselling skills and Transition. The fjrst phase is centred around you and your

• wn experiences. It’s based around the quote

“you have to help yourself before you help anybody else”. It focuses on being open, deepening your sense of self and connecting with others you don’t know well. These skills are not only the basis of being a good counsellor but also such essential skills to being a good

• person. The personal development course is for

anyone who wants to be more open and comfortable within themselves and around new people which is so benefjcial. A lot of the people who completed this course did not continue with the rest of the Youthline training and just used the skills to their advantage in life. In personal development we met every week for two hours and talked about our own experiences and how they related to the other people in the group and people throughout the

• world. We talked about our strengths,

weaknesses, grief, love and power, roles we take on unknowingly, our goals, failures, future and past selves and everything else to do with the human experience. It was so beautiful to be in a space where when you talked everyone was genuinely interested in everything you have to say. The most important session to me was the 5 hour Saturday session where they gave everyone 15 minutes to talk about their life

• story. I have never been an open person and I

am terrifjed to reveal too much about myself but for me this was such a great experience. When in life are you given the space, the

YOUTHLINE TRAINING Sadie Alexander

17

freedom where you are able to tell your story in your own words without judgement and to people who want to listen. I want everyone to experience this. The next phase of the training was BYCC (basic youth and community counselling) where we began to home in on the specifjc skills you need to be a phone counsellor, now focusing on other people instead of ourselves. We broke down microskills such as tone, pace, affjrmations, encouragers, open and closed questions, normalisation, and reframing. We were told that calls were usually about 15 minutes and in that time the counsellor takes on four roles in this

• rder: The compassionate companion, the

clarifying listener, the wise guide and the

• manager. The fjrst two are more about listening

and validating the emotions behind what the caller is saying. The second two are about helping them come to their own conclusion without telling them how. The biggest thing I learnt about this training is that they do not give advice but rather keep refmecting it back on the caller until they solve it for themselves. Through BYCC we started practices which were either fjsh bowls or triads. Fishbowls were when someone pretended to be the caller and we went around the circle each being the counsellor for 3 minutes. Triads were in groups of three with one caller, one counsellor and one observer. The phase I am in now is Transition which is basically the transition to the phones. Most of the sessions are based around practice as well as going over some of the more intense topics we will face like suicide, self-harm, abuse and other high risk topics. For me my IP was so different from what I thought it was going to be. I thought I was going to go to classes each week and learn what to say to a kid to make them feel better. I learned that phone counselling is so much more than that. It’s about being open yourself with the person, giving them space to talk through what's going

• n, organise their thoughts and slowly fjgure out

how to feel better. I always knew I wanted to be a counsellor, but I had never had any experience, so I had no idea what it was like. The training was incredibly stressful for me in so many ways in terms of my

• wn social anxiety, my fear of getting things

wrong, and the chaos in my life that interfered with it. I am so grateful that I did this course in my fjnal year of high school because I think it taught me so many skills that I needed to have before I go and start the next phase of my life. It taught me that being open is the only true way to connect with people and the more open you are the more people are drawn to you. Looking into the future I now know that I defjnitely would like to study psychology and become a licensed counsellor at some point in my life. However, the biggest thing this experience taught me is that I need a lot more life experience to be a psychologist. Before I wanted to go straight to uni for psychology but now I think I am going to go to uni for something else fjrst and take my time so that I can help people to the best of my abilities.

18

In class 9 I was tired. Teenagers are expected to be fatigued to a degree because their circadian rhythm becomes later but school still starts

• early. First step was to start trying to sleep
• better. However, even when I would sleep

enough and eat right, I was still tired enough that I had emotional breakdowns on a semi regular schedule. Next step was to start dropping things to see if I was simply spreading myself too thin. I started dropping sports, after- school activities and my social life slimmed down until I went down to half days at

• school. I’d been getting tests from the doctor,

but nothing really came up. Last year everything got ‘sorted’ and so now I should be on an equal energy level to everyone else. The results of tests on my thyroid function came back as

• cancer. Surgery was two weeks later where I got

a total thyroidectomy and a central neck dissection followed by radio Iodine treatment. All this has a fair amount of side effects but the most obvious one is extreme fatigue, which meant that all-day-every-day for the best part of three months I barely moved from my couch. That’s why I picked what I did for my IP. I didn’t want to pick a massive project to do on top of all my school work that would only increase my stress since through my health journey I know that I can say yes to too many things (I still did anyway). I thought it would be a good idea to go back to some of the things that I hadn’t done for a while, check in on myself and see if I still like to do them and try more things to build up a life around school again. I wanted to try and see what I like to do now as I haven’t really had much of a chance to play around with things recently. It was partly fjnding out who I am now and what I like to do being older and working to break some of my patterns. It included actively pursuing doing new things as well as looking at what I did and evaluating if it is something I like to do. Almost like Marie Kondo-ing my life. I came into this year with a list of things I wanted to do to get life back into me. Covid didn’t change what my larger outcomes were. However, I didn’t get to do as many of the in- school activities that I had planned. I ended up looking into my exercise a bit more though. I did yoga, some at-home workout videos and went running a couple of times. The quantity of what I intended to achieve didn’t change but it did affect what I did. The worst part was towards the end of quarantine. Once we had been at home for long enough, I got into the habit of being at home all day again which for me was very much about zoning out and lots of Netfmix or going on my phone. The challenge I faced there was the challenge I faced in the fjrst place trying to get out of my ‘bad’ habits. Coming back to school I jumped back into it boots and all even more than before which was potentially a struggle. I started saying yes which was a gift to me to be able to say yes but it partly got to my head. I got rostered on for more work than I wanted but I did it anyway. I

BUILDING BALANCE Grace Ryan

19

said yes to organising ball and charity committee even when I have a condensed workload with my mocks being taken as my fjnal examination. I jumped back in a bit too much and overshot a normal but more colourful life into a full life that I could barely cope with. Here is a list of everything I used my IP as an excuse to do:

• Worked in a swimming school as a coach and

receptionist up to 3 times a week

• Exercise

 Swim – Pool and ocean  Yoga  Run  Basketball  Volleyball  Skiing

• Sewing- 2 skirts and a top in process
• Embroidery
• Ceramics – 2 cup things and some for main

lesson

• Make bracelet (macrame)
• Take photos on my camera
• Made pasta from scratch about 5 times

 Ravioli  Tortellini  Linguine  Angel hair

• Read again

 Read classics - Emma and Jane Eyre

• Charity committee
• Student council
• Ball planning
• Asked people to hang out

Overall, there were lots of things that I enjoyed. I learnt new skills and got better at most of them. I think at the start I had the belief that I could jump back into everything and be a dynamic person with all these interesting personality traits at the

• end. I now think that no matter how many skills

you cultivate you only really get fulfjlment, character and a sense of identity through interactions with other people. I think work gave me that to a degree which I could recognise at a level because of how happy it makes me. On the fmip side, with all the isolation this year and the quantities if work I did in term 2 and the time pressure for exams this term, sometimes taking time to talk and connect to people has slipped through my fjngers. It’s something that I've always put on the backburner. I did far more this year than in the past, but I think after exams and then looking forwards into uni, I need to continuing putting conscious effort there to feel validated as a person. To feel interesting and someone I feel even more confjdent about presenting to people. At the point of starting to write this I didn’t really have an overwhelming sense of accomplishment because I didn’t ‘fjnd

• ut who I am’ but I'm ticking away. So, here’s a

few things I know so far: My IP was a chance to do things that brought me

• joy. I wanted to revisit things that I had dropped
• r missed along my road due to my health. In

the past I haven’t had much energy to put into my life apart from school, so it was a time to actively pursue doing new things as well as look at what I have been doing to see if it suits me now that I am older. I expected to come out of it fully productive and motivated around my school life, have a full and bustling schedule. I didn’t expect that I would still get tired, that I could do too much or that sometimes I just don’t feel like doing much other than curling up and having a lazy Sunday afternoon. I think it’s hard to adjust your mind to your body when you are in a pattern

• f sickness, but once you do, I found it harder to

fjgure out where well is. How to fjnd balance between everything and nothing. As much as I needed to work on getting back into doing, I need to work on assigning time to not do anything so that I don’t have what I'm not doing lingering over me. Through my IP, I now have lots

• f things that I could be doing that I know I enjoy.

I feel I know myself more but it’s only one step towards a moving destination. I like to swim I like yoga I like to ski I like to make pasta I like potting I like sewing I like making I like talking to people I like listening to people I like laughing I like helping people I like teaching I like learning I don’t like running

20

This was not my fjrst choice of topic for my IP. I had a long list of things I was very interested in, such as converting a van for tiny living, doing something with food or writing, or working more closely with the Mangere refugee resettlement centre. But in some ways choosing the topic I did, felt like coming home. Open fmoor dance and dream analysis has always been in the peripherals of my vision as they probably are in any ‘alternative’ household. But for a really long time I wanted nothing to do with the

• practises. I was a little embarrassed by the crazy

expression and obnoxious volume they both

• encompassed. So, me deciding I wanted to
• pen my life to these out-there mediums of self-

expression, was also me embracing the weird and not ‘socially acceptable’ sides of myself. I was now open to seeing that these practises had done a lot of wonderful things for others and greedily, I wanted some of that for myself. It’s strange spending so much time on a ‘project’ that you don’t have much physical evidence of, it’s easy to forget how far you’ve

• come. Most of my journey was experienced

internally, the things I learnt were through feelings, not equations written on paper. I set myself many goals at the beginning of the

• IP. I intended to create a dream journal using

InDesign, make an article and magazine on Open Floor Dance, I wanted to track and analyse my dreams, explore open fmoor dance as well as hold a class for my community or the Mangere refugee centre. I can be really hard on myself when I don’t fjnish something to the standard I wanted at the beginning of the

• process. So, the fact I couldn’t complete this

large list of things I originally set, became a big learning curve on how to be gentler with

• myself. The overarching theme of my IP became

fjnding new methods of becoming more in tune with my body and what it is trying to tell me. It was not my intention for the theme of my project to be focused on me. I wanted to use these tools (dancing and dreaming) to be able to help and give back to others. I wanted to learn about dance so that I could offer this new and exciting tool used for change, to others and hopefully bring it to a wider community. And I wanted to create the dream journal so that

• thers could gain insight into themselves

through dreams just as I have started doing. Maybe this is where my IP will extend into the future past the due date, I defjnitely do have an interest in keeping these practises in my life after all.

DANCING IN YOUR DREAMS Ruby Legg

21

There were a few different things that stopped me from being able to complete a couple of aspects of my IP. It was really just life getting in the way, things of more ‘importance’ and urgency grabbing my attention. Other assignments needing to be handed in or larger events or projects requiring organisation. We often live such busy, chaotic lives that something always has to hit the back burner for a while and that happened to be the In Design dream journal component of my IP. The four-week lockdown also made me shuffme my IP on quite a large

• scale. It was during this time that I introduced the

idea of using dreams as a medium to stay connected with myself. Dance is a very intimate practise; part of what makes it such a magical experience is the energy gathered from a collective group of people all dancing at the same time. So obviously dance was off the table for the foreseeable future when lockdown arrived and I needed a quick solution so I wasn’t sat doing nothing for seven weeks. I began a routine of writing down the big details

• f a dream as soon as I woke up, and then later I

would record the whole thing in my notebook. After a while I noticed that I seemed to be dreaming a lot more. I found this interesting because humans actually dream every single night, it’s just whether we remember them. So rather than dreaming more, I was becoming more adept at remembering them, and I think that all came from me genuinely wanting to recognise and learn more about them. It was easy to identify trends in my dreams; they were

• ften abstract versions of my daytime anxieties or

disturbing replays of alarming fjlms I had just

• watched. I later came to notice that as well as this

being an interesting thing to do, it was nice implementing this practise into my week and allowing me to take a bit of time for myself. I see open fmoor dance and dream analysis as very different practises both aiming for a similar

• utcome. Dream analysis was something I could

do quietly by myself whereas dance was best done with a large group of people and vibrating

• music. But I think people do both with a similar

goal, to have some kind of release within the body, to give their minds a break, while allowing themselves to listen to what their body and deeper self is trying to tell them. I began going to Sacha Paddy’s casual open fmoor classes on Sunday, and then participated in her online zoom classes when Covid struck. After the lock down I began going to a workshop held by Ingrid Nagl, where she used open fmoor as a therapeutic tool. All of these offered me very different experiences. I’m not going to go into depth, I have done so already in my journal. I will share something that stuck out for me though. In my interview with Sacha Paddy she said,

“We think the practise is about dancing because we go along and have fun but actually it really is about life and what it can give us in our lives”.

A lot of the people who get great catharsis from

• pen fmoor dance, often hold a lot of trauma.

Practises like these offer survivors something that it cannot offer me. I do not have any trauma, I have been gifted a gentle life with beautiful supportive parents, caring down-to-earth friends and I live in the safest country and community. I’m not saying that I don’t benefjt from open fmoor, I defjnitely do. It offers me a chance to escape my thoughts, a fun way to relax and get back into my body, a way to meet beautiful like- minded individuals. But for me at this present time, I have no deep-seated hurt that this dance can uncover. I feel blessed that I already have these tools under my belt for days when I may need to address underlying pain. Many people are not lucky enough to discover these practises until years down the line from when their soul could have really done with some loving.

22

The beginnings of my IP looked very different to how they look now. I went through many ideas, including studying tarot and shamanism; tikanga māori and tikanga-ā-iwi. I knew I wanted to do something which I felt was important and larger than what I may have done in the past, but still personal enough to me and relevant to more than one part of who I am. I only came to my current idea during the Autumn lockdown, when this spectral train called The Nowhere Train appeared in my dreams. I decided to record where this train took me and who I met in a small novella, writing in a style which combined something of (my favourite writer) Virginia Woolf’s language structure in The Waves with the classic One Thousand and One Nights stories, where each night opens a new chapter and all the stories occur within one larger one which develops simultaneously. The train became a recurring feature of my dreams, and has dominated my sleeping self for the past fjve months, dragging me to all kinds of strange places and fjlling my paper with scribbles I understand about a third of, at best. Many times, I felt I was cheating my IP because I wasn't really doing the writing - the words and characters formed themselves, often in ways I never even approved. I feel that music, more than anything else, encompasses my place here. It takes every aspect of my life and aligns it within me. Music is the only thing streamlining my being; attaching me to the ground, and me to me. No matter what I am doing (writing, moving, painting, playing), I see it as music in another

• form. Music is only other things; it manifests the

quintessence of each microcosm in the

• universe. And so I made music tangibly

integrated into my IP by assigning each character and each night a Bach piece. Each night before I slept, I turned on one of Bach’s Preludes from his Well-tempered Clavier, a collection containing two sets of preludes and fugues in all 24 major and minor keys. I chose Bach because his music is (I think) the most perfect and esoteric, and I used only the preludes from the fjrst book because these are slightly less developed than the later pieces in The Well-Tempered Clavier: Book II; while being just as musically perfect (they’re Bach, after all) they leave more of a question, something not quite complete, which I felt somehow opened me up and allowed more of my dream to join with the music as I slept. Furthermore, I wanted to communicate the things inside of me which I don’t often share and fjnd some peace with the way my brain

• works. Sharing, for me, is like opening the lid of

a pot which is boiling and letting some precious steam escape. I don’t want anything to escape and be changed by other people, I want to absorb things around me and keep them in the boiling pot. I want to take, not give. This was the hardest part of my IP, learning to give rather than take, and to become less selfjsh. I also had to be less fjlled with fear. In about the second month of my process, I burnt all the writing I’d done because I was suddenly terrifjed of someone fjnding it. It was at this point that I realised how fearful I am as a person; I always say “I’m just a secretive person,” but this really deconstructed what that meant. I couldn’t be secretive while also being selfmess and fearless. Afraid of other people, myself; of doing, not doing; of freedom, constraint. The burnt papers weren’t a problem, I remembered everything I’d written anyway, but I knew this kind of thing was going to keep on happening until I stopped the fear. My IP is defjnitely now showing me how far I have to go before I’m anywhere near as good as my loved ones around me, who are so graceful and somehow live in harmony with

LITTLE PRELUDES India Frith

23

• themselves. It made me appreciate the people

around me; challenged me to give more to them and show more of myself because they deserve to know more about me than just the parts I

• select. The process also reinforced that these

two parts of me, the writer and the musician, are the parts I subconsciously reject the most. There is something scary about things that make us truly happy or that ignite something different within us, because we feel we don’t deserve this level of pleasure in life. Creative writing and music are the things I take the least time for, yet now I realise they are absolutely what I need to spend my life doing.

My Ceiling Disappeared

(excerpt from novella)

He paused, then began to laugh uncontrollably again, each of his cackles chasing the last in bright rings which radiated out from his great round face; “And how did you get here?” The Laughing Man asked. “My ceiling disappeared,” She said, “I woke up and it was gone. When I sleep, I always feel like a

• jigsaw. Lines cross-cross all over me and slice me

up, trying to peel away pieces of my being and set them free. The difference tonight was that I let myself be peeled away in pieces, because I don’t want it anymore, to be a series of convex, concave, this here and that in there, where is she, why is he. I haven’t any energy for an eternity of what fjts where, where, stay there, it must stay

• there. When I gave away the ears and mouths of

my jigsaw, which slotted together in an order and fjtted me to me, I found there was rhythm on the

• ther side. Nevertheless, I was scared, and

wanted my pieces back. Strings wrapped around my muscles, stuck in my ribs and attached to the foot of my bed, pulling on me. I slammed back into my sleeping body, and woke up. The bedsheets laying across me were completely soaked and the grey of the night seeped into my

• room. Around, the air crackled and shuffmed,

sliding across itself in thick, slow layers. Sometimes there was a moment of horrible, sticky silence like the world was being muffmed.” “Me and my room were fmat,” She said, “Squashed

• nto a piece of paper which was being

continually rumpled up, then fmattened, like an

• rgan pumping with the breath of some huge

being’s body. There were these lungs, beast’s lungs, but there were no ribs to constrict them so they just kept on going, expanding out in all

• directions. I’ve always been so afraid of not

having my freedom, of being trapped by someone or something, so what I’d never noticed was how terrifying it is to have no constraint laid

• n you. The great lungs beat a rhythm into mine

as I looked up. I saw stars winking at me and the sky stretched out like a big black book whose leaves are falling away and out of it, covering every apparent thing, and me. And me? Now I was a boiling silver pot, with bubbles drawing chains up to the surface, twisting around each

• ther faster and faster. The sky grabbed me, it

took ahold of my silver chains and pulled them up like it was uprooting something and picking it from the earth. Nothing remained inside of me. My chains went up and up and up, through a tiny hole in the top of my head, and took the rest of me with them. There I was, strung between the stars, suspended in a space between two breaths. There was me and there was the sky and I thought to myself, “My ceiling’s disappeared, hasn’t it?” And so it had.”

24

Originally, my independent project was going to be about my involvement in the Green Party

• Campaign. I have been passionate about

politics and culture for a while now, and at the beginning of the year my political beliefs were very closely aligned with the Green Party and I was so excited to campaign with them. I went along to campaign training sessions, I went to my local branch meetings in West Auckland, I was on the Green Party stall for a bug festival event during the summer, and started doing campaign calling just before lockdown. I felt like I had found my people. Every time I was spending time with the Green Party, I was buzzing and happy and passionate the entire

• time. It felt so good to fjnd a group of people

that thought the same things as me, viewed the world the same way as me, and wanted to go about changing it the same as me. I was looking forward to campaigning with them up until the election, but then lockdown happened. The fjrst night of lockdown, I came across the video of a speech given by a prominent conservative political commentator from

• America. I remember listening to it while doing

the dishes, and by the end of the speech, I was questioning all my political views. For the next few days, I went for an internet dive reading articles, listening to podcasts, watching speeches and interviews, doing everything to seek out more of these libertarian and conservative opinions and outlooks that I had blocked myself from hearing in my passion for the Green Party. Just before lockdown, I had been toying with the idea of changing my IP to rekindling my violin playing. After my exposure to different belief systems, I realised that my IP could no longer be about campaigning with the Green Party, as I no longer agreed with the Greens on many issues, so could no longer in good faith continue campaigning for them. So, my IP changed to my reconnection with music. When I fjrst decided not to pursue music as a career, (which had been a dream of mine for 7 years at the time, ever since class three), it felt like I had lost a part of myself. The part of myself, that me, my wonderful violin teacher, my conductor, and my family had been cultivating ever since I was eight. Music felt so real to me. I’m the fjrst to say that I was no child prodigy, but I did have talent. The fjrst time I picked up a violin in the fjrst music lesson we had in class three, I could play better than anyone else in the room. I took a violin home that night, and despite knowing nothing about music came back to school the next morning having fjgured out how to play the tune of a song my dad had been listening to (‘Stand’ by REM). Even at my peak of violin playing, there were always people around me whose technical abilities surpassed mine, but that never mattered, because I felt connected to the music itself, not how it sounded to a metronome. The fact that I played violin was such a big part of my identity for a long time. I wasn’t great at many subjects at school, before I became interested in politics I didn’t really have any

• ther interests other than music, and the time

that I spent playing violin made me feel special and individual, because it wasn’t something that I had to compare to others or prove my capabilities in a grade. It was my own little thing, that made me feel connected to beauty,

RECONNECTING WITH MUSIC Jess Wigley

25

made me feel whole. I loved the way I sounded, I loved that in some rare moments, it felt like I was completely myself - open and vulnerable to the

• world. My happiest state would be when, after

working a tricky passage for a long time, doing the technical work, fjguring out the dynamics and exactly how to use my bow, understanding the musicality of it all, fjnally being in my violin lesson and playing wonderfully, the best I possibly could have. My violin teacher, Elena, was one of those people in your life that shape you, that truly teach you more than skills, but also how to be in this world. She’s Russian, and very strict. I was her student for about 6 years. She went on maternity leave just as I decided not to make a career out

• f my violin playing. But it was more than just a

career, it was the realisation that I would not be dedicating my life to this thing that I loved so

• much. I haven’t seen her since I stopped taking
• lessons. I think it’s been about a year and a half,

maybe two. I’ve been missing her quite a bit throughout this IP process. Just when I decided to do this as my IP, I scribbled this down on a piece of paper: ‘Music used to be a place of love and comfort and passion for me. How that’s changed! Like a lot of big issues, they can be represented and manifested in the smallest things. For me, I think this is the smell of rosin. When I was feeling frustrated

• r angry or sad or stressed, the smell of

rosin on my violin would calm me. Sometimes, I would get my violin out just to smell the wood and rosin. Now, that smell makes me cry. When I open my violin case, that smell that used to make me look forward to playing, now makes me want to shut the case straight away. Now, when I pick up that violin, it feels like there is a wall between me and the music. Whenever I try to play, it feels like a jigsaw puzzle that just won’t fjt together. The fact that I gave up on violin makes me feel like I’ve betrayed myself, like everything I’ve felt about violin was fake, like I’m a fraud. The past year I haven’t even been able to listen to classical music without feeling a weight in my

• stomach. A weight in my stomach which,

when I think about it, is the ‘what could have been’. The reason I haven’t gone back to violin is because I know I won’t be as good as I could have been if I hadn’t quit. I’ve let myself down, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to connect to the music like I used to, so why even try? ‘ So, that’s a pretty depressing read there, and looking back on it now that I’ve come to the end

• f IP makes me so sad. Between then and now, I

have only practised pieces that I love, that sound beautiful, and that allow me to connect to the music rather than get frustrated over my lost technical abilities. I have also found that playing duets with my sister has been wonderful, as I’ve always enjoyed playing with her, and I love how we sound together. My aim going into this IP has been to go on a journey of coming back to music from this different place in my life, and not feel inadequate

• r disappointed in myself. Silly as this sounds, I

needed to apologise to my music and myself for letting go for a bit, and work on being happy that I’ve found my way back rather than dejected that it’s taken so long. Coming out the other side, I have started to fjgure out the new way in which music can interact with my life. I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that things will never go back to the way they were. There will always be ‘what could have been’, but I am working on turning that nagging doubt into a new message

• f ‘what could be’. I’m thankful that IP came at a

time when I was ready to open the door to music, and allow it to come back in, along with all the tricky emotions that came with it.

26

I wanted to make knives from discarded materials to show the amount of waste we have that could still be reused and that most materials can be recycled. I was hoping to make a wide variety of knives, up to around 10 knives, each with different specialties of use. Why knives? I chose knives because I see them as the most important and versatile tools of humanity's

• history. Seeing as most of my school subjects

are highly academic in nature I decided to do a more hands on IP where I can create

• something. I also think they’re quite beautiful as

they can require a very wide range of material and physical knowledge. I wanted to sell them and see how much profjt they could make and give the proceeds charity. I also wanted to see how much knives I created could sell for as I was interested in making this a side hustle. Throughout my process I reduced the number

• f blades I aimed to create because my starting

dates for forging were pushed back signifjcantly by Covid-19. Due to this I decided to make 3-4 blades instead of 10. I then had to decide which knives I wanted to keep and a few designs were

• rejected. Due to the lower number of blades

created I decided to ditch the idea of selling them as I would lose this memento of the hard work I put in to create them. Considerable time was spent drawing the designs for the knives as I spent so much time indoors without any materials due to

• quarantine. About a week of quarantine was

spent just researching what objects contain high carbon steel (the kind used for knives). I discovered that high carbon steel is typically found in car chassis railroads and suspension

• springs. Eventually it became evident that my

best opportunity to make my knives was to have a workshop with John Lawry. After this 3-day workshop I had created 4 blades ready for their handles which I decided I would make outside

• f the workshop.

I think this was a very worthwhile IP to do for myself as I have a huge passion for crafting and

• knives. This gave me an easy way to do a lot of

work without feeling tired or apathetic about it: as long as my work and passions are aligned it feels like any amount of work or any large project could be completed. The knowledge that I can push past what my brain considers limits will let me thrive in any fjeld of work I feel passionate about and do - limits are almost always made by your mind and never your

• body. The value of the knives is immensely

sentimental and emotional to me as well as

• practical. I didn’t regret this IP for a second

however I did regret not being able to fjnish it due to all of the covid interruptions preventing me from working to my fullest ability. I hope to keep this project as an ongoing part of my life, knowing that the skills I gained and the knives I created will last me a lifetime.

CUTTING DOWN TO EARTH Niko Goijarts

27

• Bugs. When I say that word, most people

instantly get a feeling of squirminess. Insects are the cause of many phobias and fears. While I do understand the fear behind having a massive, hairy, eight-legged spiders crawling up your back or feeling a long, spikey centipede using its hundred legs to creep up your leg when you sleep, I am simply amazed at how we humans are entirely oblivious to the hidden world of beauty that is right under our feet, literally!. Just like how Jaws gave way for galeophobia, knows as the phobia of sharks, bugs have always been seen as these terrifying, alien creatures set out to destroy humanity and all we have created! I am here to show you that this simply isn’t true. Bugs are beautiful and straightforward beings. And with the right techniques, anyone can be able to see the true meaning of ‘all great gifts come in small packaging’. Macro photography is the art of taking photos through a macro lens; this means the camera specialises in taking very up-close pictures of small objects to capture every minor detail. By using the right light and colour techniques, artists can make the most magnifjcent photos that capture details not seen by the naked eye. The macro lens can achieve something as little as 25 microns. To put this into comparison, human hair is .00004 inches, or 75 microns wide. A human red blood cell is 5 microns wide. Through this lens, artists can produce highly detailed photos of any small

• bject, the most common being…you guessed it

…bugs. Using this technology, anyone can appreciate the pure form of bugs, from every crevice in their exoskeleton to every lens in their

• eye. From the hidden colours that only become

exposed through the use of lighting to every delicate hair on their leg. This new use of technology in photography really interests me. I have always been a fan of bugs. I have always appreciated their beauty. For as long as I can remember, I have collected dead insects that have fallen into my path, and I put them all into a little box. My ‘dead box’. Because of collecting bugs my whole life, I have some of the perfect models to put under my macro lens camera, which is exactly what I did in these photos. These are some of my favourite photos that I took using my macro lens. I took some of my small dull bugs and with the right lighting and technique, I transformed my tiny subjects into larger-than-life pieces of art. I hope that these photos convince you to wonder about what beauties you might have missed by not stopping and considering the amazing possibilities of the micro-life that we share this world with. I hope that next time you see a dead fmy on your windowsill or a tiny ant crawl across your foot you will stop and take a minute to appreciate the hidden beauty of the overlooked world of natures’ smallest creations.

MICROPHOTOGRAPHY - AN EXPLORATION INTO THE HIDDEN WORLD

Angel Pfaff

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For my Independent Project I built my own skate ramp and box. For a while I have been wanting to expand my d.i.y skatepark at home. At the moment it consists of a rail and an old plastic ramp that is barely functionable for a

• skateboard. I plan on making the ramp and box

portable and dynamic so I can be creative with

• them. For example, propping the ramp against

the deck and making them compatible. I chose this I.P because skateboarding is one of my favourite things to do and it also allows me to further explore building, a trade I have considered picking up after my school career comes to an end. Building is something I have had an interest in since I was young. I’ve always wondered if I would actually enjoy it. So why not explore it? I’ve always had an interest in skateboarding as well, it’s one of the only things I actually enjoy

• doing. When I skate, it’s like I have no worries, I

stay focused at my task, I live in the moment, it’s easy to forget about everything. It’s peaceful and exhilarating at the same

• time. Skateboarding is also more than just a

sport to me. It’s more creative than that, there are many ways you can express yourself through it from the obstacles you choose to skate to the design you choose on the board to the foot positioning on your board. I also wanted to improve my skating skill but that just comes with skating, the more you do it the better you will get, the same with everything pretty much. The fjrst thing I did was fjgure out what I wanted, I knew I wanted a ramp and a box, just what type of ramp? I also had to fjgure out specifjc dimensions so I could make my box and kicker “dynamic and portable” and actually skateable for someone of my skill level. From there I went outside and drew chalk mock ups

• f lengths, widths and heights I thought were
• suitable. I had to take into consideration the

angle of incline on the ramp, would I lose momentum as soon as I hit it, would it be diffjcult to skate and almost nonfunctional like my plastic one. I had to take into consideration how high I could actually ollie (a basic jump on a skateboard). If I couldn’t get on top of the box without the ramp what was the point in making something so high. I had to take into consideration how long I needed the box to be, if it took all my energy to get on top how much time would I need to reposition my feet positioning to actually execute a trick off of the box. Next step was getting supplies, which was probably the longest process of the whole

• project. Then the actual building. I started with

just building the wooden bases/body, which was easier than I expected. I didn’t come across many problems building the bases apart from the original width of the wood I bought wouldn’t fjt on top of the saw table thing so I had to improvise and build this contraption thing to cut the wood.

BUILD UPS Toby Lange

29

Surprisingly a lot of the tasks weren’t actually that hard, just time consuming and a bit intimidating at fjrst. Next task was to put handles on the box, this was probably the hardest part of the whole task because of how infuriating it was. The drill battery would die really fast but would take forever to charge, the hole saw wouldn’t cut the wood effjciently and would catch and end up twisting my arm whenever I added pressure to the hole saw so it would actually drill. I would end up hammering the hole when it got to a certain point which would make a very unclean

• cut. Originally, I had planned to only do 2

handles on each side, but my dad insisted on having 4. In the end it worked out because it made it lighter which means more portable. I can move it by myself, as well as with 4 people, so either way it works fjne. The last part of the process was adding the coping (the metal edges used for grinding). I had to learn how to use the angle grinder, this was intimidating to a point. The fjrst cut I made was inaccurate, not straight and produced a gap in the coping. I blame this on the sparks that were produced which were distracting. This made me somewhat unwilling to complete it because I had high standards of having no gaps. Having gaps meant I would snag and not be able to execute grinds. Overall I’m glad with how my project turned out. It does the job I wanted it to do and it does it quite nicely. I am very satisfjed with my fjnal

• product. Although, I did expect it to go a lot
• differently. I expected to be working hard every

night struggling to complete whatever task I had at hand, but I wasn’t. Although some parts were time consuming, I didn’t spend nearly that much time building the actual obstacles as I did skating

• them. Maybe it’s because I did it over a long

period of time or maybe it’s because I’ve spent so much time using the obstacles since they've been built that I forgot about all the effort I put in. I learned how to use different tools, basic sight safety, basic building skills and tips, I learnt patience, but personally I don’t feel like I immersed myself into the building aspect

• enough. I feel this way because I came out not

knowing if I wanted to be a builder or not. I didn’t experience building on an actual site with contracted workers, therefore I feel like I couldn’t experience the real deal. In saying this though, I did explore building which is what I set out to do and I would defjnitely consider picking up the trade if I really can’t make a career choice by the end of the year. The building part was only half of my project though, what about the skating you may ask? Personally, I think my learning has still to come with skating as well. Skating isn’t something you magically learn through a couple attempts, especially the tricks you learn using new obstacles. It’s a process in itself, you have to learn the momentum, which way to carry your body, which way to adjust your swing, where to position your feet and all these other variables you have to take into consideration. It is for that reason I say my learning experience has still to come, just trust I will be learning because I took at least 3 breaks while writing this specifjcally just to skate. Under some people's defjnitions you could even say I have learned a few skate tricks, but I like to perfect them till I can brag about being about to land something.

30

For my IP I have chosen a joint of two, Creative Writing and New Zealand Sign Language. When I look at these two elements of my year and the reasons why I have chosen them, I consider these to be my languages. They are two different forms of communication and as something that I used to struggle with a lot, I view that as a big step. This is the beginning of me fjnding my way to communicate better with myself and fjnd ways to communicate to and with my place in the world. These come together because they are currently where I want to take my life and I am looking at taking both NZSL and Creative Writing/English through university. I would like for them to be incorporated into my life, whether I become an author or use my skills in other ways or become good enough at NZSL to use it for bigger purposes such as interpreting. I had the idea for my current novel building for

• ver a year, it was caught in my head long

before I started putting it to paper and I fjnd myself fascinated thinking back to where it started and how much it evolved and changed by itself in my head. It came in bursts of inspiration and late-night thought that was honestly quite unruly for a long time and very much unbidden. But that’s why I decided to try to write it. Later it became very much like pruning a wild tree -- it was so amazing to see the shapes I could start to form, but cutting off the branches often made me sad and sometimes when I tried to hold onto some of them too hard it was a detriment to the rest of my ideas. But cutting them off also left room for me to fjnd the buds of a more successful idea. I

• ften had to go back over and over and cut

back branches I had thought I could leave. I have learned more about myself through my writing, experiencing a new way of thinking and how I use it. It's a unique type of problem solving and even when I can see no way through, I always seem to reach the perfect answer eventually The urge to learn NZSL struck me quite suddenly in 2015 and in 2016 I made it my class 8 independent project. I enjoy it because it is so expressive and different so this year I made the long-coming decision to pick it up again. I sometimes fjnd that I talk too much and I often feel very loud. I enjoy the opportunity to switch

• ff my physical voice for a while. In a perfect

world I would love to take it all the way and become an interpreter because I believe there is a sore lack of them as NZ Sign Language is not universal and is restricted to just our country despite sharing strong similarities with other

• countries. In class 8 I held myself back with my

insecurities, it took me too long to take the fjrst steps and book my course, so I missed out on some of my own potential and learning time. This time I did not wait, and I booked my 2020 classes on the 30th of December 2019. Growth is a natural and expected progress, but I found consolation in my ability to make the fjrst move this time. Despite how Covid-19 interfered with my ability to go to my classes, they were still held online and when the 15-week course came to an end I went on to book my second course. I wish I had been able to know myself then in 2015 as I know myself now. It is a more meaningful and successful experience now because I am leading myself.

MY LANGUAGE Georgia McKenzie

31

Class 12 IP is supposed to be a special event at the Ellerslie Steiner school of Michael Park. You spend the better part of a year crafting, dreaming something in a process that reaches its rewarding end on two separate nights of speeches, displays and performances. Then came COVID-19, Coronavirus or “the rona” as it’s colloquially known. Its origins aren’t quite clear, it’s full effects not realised, yet it’s global impact astonishing; that is if you weren’t already a cynic

• r Bill Gates, warning the world about something

such as this fjve years ago. COVID-19 and 2020 has re-taught and taught the world many things about ourselves, our economies, our shopping habits, our mob-mentality, our bodies and our governments that we previously may have not known or wanted to forget. This IP had a relatively simple goal, to encourage people to vote consciously. Across the globe the general trend in a western democratic country shows a decrease in voter turnout. In the last 25 years, according to the World Bank’s 2017 Development Report over the last 25 years (as of 2017) voter turnout fell by 10% globally with some labelling falling voter turnout numbers as a threat to democracy. Through my IP I focused on the 2020 New Zealand General Election and referendum, with an emphasis on Auckland due to that being where I live, where the school I attend is based and the city that approximately 1,650,000 New Zealanders call home. New Zealand falls within the top ten (roughly 8th) in terms of world rankings for voter turnout. Voter turnout for General Elections in New Zealand has risen and fallen throughout the course of the nation’s history, rising at times above 90% and falling at times lower than 70%. For the last few General Elections voter turnout in New Zealand has dipped and been below previous highs such as in 1984 where 93.7% of those eligible voted. Since the turn of the century turnout has not exceeded 80.9%, the turnout for the 2005 General Election. Overall voter turnout however does not paint the full picture, with those who are younger voting less than those who are older, perhaps because they are disenfranchised, perhaps because they’re “too busy”, perhaps because they believe all the candidates to be “garbage”, don’t understand how the government works or believe that their vote simply just “doesn’t matter”. Yet, despite all this, those who are younger have found themselves being some of the most vocal proponents for climate action amongst other issues. In the 2017 General Election 69.27% of those eligible aged between 18-24 and 67.56% of those aged between 25-29 voted compared to 88.21% of 65-69 year olds and 86.35% of 70+ year olds. This is a substantial difference and shows that a greater portion of older people are getting out to vote and having an impact on elections when compared to those who are

• younger. This sort of data is quite indicative when

there are movements being pushed by 16-17 year olds, urging the New Zealand Government to grant them the right to vote. Over the course

• f this IP journey I myself ended up learning a lot

more than I’d bargained for. I myself - someone interested in New Zealand politics - had to

POLITICALLY SPEAKING Fynn Rees

32

educate myself properly when it came to politician’s names and just how things worked. If I, someone who has an interest in New Zealand politics didn’t fully understand how New Zealand's Government or voting works, who's to say that your average person does? That addresses the second part of this IP. While part of it was getting people to go out to vote, the other part was trying to let people know in an unbiased manner what their vote means and letting them know what's out there when it comes to election day. I made a spreadsheet of all candidates for electorates in Auckland, coming across parties I’d never heard of before

• r heard very little about such as the Outdoors

Party. I’d planned on creating a booklet for this all,

• ne that included information on how much a

vote matters, what each vote means, a breakdown of the political parties within New Zealand, bios for each electorate including maps and incumbents and a map of the New Zealand Parliament. While this did not come to complete fruition to be debuted on IP night it's been an invaluable project that would be well worth completing before the new election date

• f the 17th of October later this year.

Much of this IP hinged on a speech and presentation on the night, and while that may no-longer be possible as a direct result of COVID-19, through this process, I and two

• thers I encouraged applied for work at the

Electoral Commission in this year’s General

• Election. I was accepted for the position,

something that will allow me a better understanding of how the election is handled

• n the ground and how people interact with the

polls. While the IP for class of 2020 has been haemorrhaged by COVID-19 it’s one in a long list of casualties. Over the course of the IP I found a renewed and encouraged passion for New Zealand politics that is certainly not over. This Independent Project is not complete, and nor is my New Zealand political journey. This could very well be just the beginning.