You Make Me So Mad!
The Presenter Jennifer Alfonso Jennifer Alfonso, MBA, MSW, LCSW-C is a nationally recognized expert and speaker on anger and stress management, conflict resolution, effective communication, and time management. As a trained mediator and a psychotherapist with a business background, Ms. Alfonso provides organizational development services to both private and public organizations. Ms. Alfonso has served as an individual trainer and coach to top executives in several Fortune 500 companies. Ms. Alfonso is a dynamic and engaging trainer who acts as a national consultant to both public and private organizations. She has presented over 2,000 workshops to various organizations, including the Department of Justice, American College of Cardiology, and the Center for Disease Control.
Main Topics • Discuss the five natural emotions of humans • Discuss the effects anger has on the brain • Identify triggers and expressions of anger • Provide tips on effectively managing anger
Quote “For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Five Natural Emotions E n v y L o v e G r i e f F e a r A A N N G G E E R R A A N N G G E E R R
Poll How often in the course of a week do you find yourself getting angry? A. Rarely B. Once a day C. Every other day D. Too often to count
Why Are We So Angry?
Quote “Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.” Robert Green Ingersoll
20 Minutes… The average amount of time it takes an individual to calm down and return to their rational and logical thoughts.
Our Brain and Emotions
Cerebral Functions: Thinking and Feeling
Effects of an Amygdala Attack • Cognitive thinking stops • Rationality is out the door, and impulsive feelings take over • Experience feelings such as anxiety, frustration, and anger • Involuntary impulse reactions are triggered • “Short tempered”
Amygdala Attack Triggers • Belief that something will hurt you • Intense overreactions • Negative events from your past resurface • Extreme dislikes
Quote “If anger were mileage, I’d be a very frequent flyer, right up there in First Class.” - Gina Barreca
Question What if we’re constantly activated by triggers?
Answer Acetylcholine may not be produced
Poll Where does your anger frequently derive from? A. Road rage B. Workplace disputes C. Family disputes D. Financial pressures E. None of the above
Is Anger Healthy? Statistics show: • Aggressive personalities: More susceptible to heart attacks and clogged arteries • Short Fusers: More likely to smoke and drink and 2.7 times more likely to have a heart attack than someone with a calmer disposition • Violent Tempers/Outbursts in Men: Twice as likely to suffer a stroke than men who have a calmer disposition • Angry/Aggressive Women: Frequently have higher cholesterol levels than those with a calmer disposition • Bottled up anger and resentment: Can lead to depression , cancer , self-harm, and substance misuse
What Triggers Our Anger? D e f e n s e F e a r m e c h a n i s m s L o s s ( d u e t o l o w s e l f - e s t e e m ) S a d n e s s A n x i e t y P e r s o n a l e v e n t U p s e t t i n g e v e n t o r s u c h a s f i n a n c i a l a c t i o n f r o m a n o t h e r s t r a i n
Our EMOTIONAL Expressions of Anger • Feelings of being sad, overwhelmed, impatient, or irritated • Churning or knots in your stomach
Our PHYSICAL Expressions of Anger • Teeth grinding • Fists clenching • Flushing • Paling • Prickly sensations • Numbness • Sweating • Muscle tensions • Temperature changes
Quote “When anger rises, think of the consequences.” Confucius
ANGER MANAGEMENT ???
Managing Your Anger • Don’t pretend to not be angry (it’s ok to get angry) • Practice using “emotional control” • Resolve underlying issues
Managing Your Anger Suggestions for helping to resolve underlying issues: • EAP • Individual therapy • Parenting groups • Anger management groups • Domestic violence groups • Look at what is upsetting you • Journaling • Use your support system • Identify coping skills
Managing Your Anger Identify any patterns in the triggers • When does this happen? • What’s going on just before?
ANGER… …serves a purpose and allows us to identify a conflict or conflicting situation (like an alarm system). But anger outbursts and aggressive angry reactions are not healthy for the person who is angry or anyone involved. Even though we get angry and want to act on it in an aggressive or hostile way, it does not serve us any good—it drains our energy, produces an unhealthy physiological reaction (i.e. a physical toll), and can in the end cause inadvertent and sometimes irreversible consequences.
Thank You for Joining Us! Questions?
Works Cited Montaldo, C. (2014). The growing problem of road rage. Retrieved from http://crime.about.com/od/victims/p/roadrage.htm Irish Association of Anger Management. (2014). Managing anger in the workplace: The high cost of anger in the workplace. Retrieved from http://www.difficultemotions.com/index.php/programmes/2012-09-03-10-23-54/managing- anger-in-the-workplace University of Notre Dame. (n.d.). The five natural emotions. Retrieved from http://www.cse.nd.edu/~skuntz/FoodForThought/FiveEmotions.txt Edmonds, M. (n.d.). How anger works. Retrieved from http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/anger2.htm Stejskal, T. & Kreutzer, J. (2014). Anger: Managing intense emotions. Retrieved from http://www.brainline.org/content/2009/03/anger-managing-intense-emotions-_pageall.html Vassar, G. (2011). How does anger happen in the brain? Retrieved from http://lakesideconnect.com/anger-and-violence/how-does-anger-happen-in-the-brain
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