UNLOCKING LEADERSHIP MINDTRAPS Jennifer Garvey Berger - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

UNLOCKING LEADERSHIP MINDTRAPS Jennifer Garvey Berger

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS Portia Nelson I I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost...I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

II I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But, it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

III I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

IV I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

V I walk down another street.

WE BELIEVE WE ARE RIGHT

TRAPPED BY RIGHTNESS We confuse feeling right with being right We lose curiosity and openness to data We treat people differently

ESCAPING OUR RIGHTNESS What do I believe and how can I be wrong? Listen to learn rather than win or fix

WE TELL SIMPLE STORIES

TRAPPED BY SIMPLE STORIES Our stories have a beginning, middle, and end We project forward from the past into the future and fill in missing pieces We create simple characters (including ourselves)

ESCAPING OUR SIMPLE STORIES How is the other person a hero? Carry three different stories

WE ENJOY IT WHEN WE AGREE

TRAPPED BY AGREEMENT We see agreeability as a virtue because disagreeing pains us The stronger the culture of tribe, the harder it can seem to disagree When we can’t agree, we polarize

ESCAPING OUR AGREEMENT Could this conflict serve to deepen a relationship? Disagree to expand ideas

WE LIKE TO BE IN CONTROL

TRAPPED BY CONTROL We substitute what can be measured for what matters We believe we have more control than we do (or anyone does) We constrain out set of possibilities to those things we can control, leaving little room to dream

ESCAPING OUR DRIVE TO CONTROL What can I help enable? What could enable me? Experiment at the edges

WE PROTECT OUR IDENTITIES

TRAPPED BY EGO We believe that we have changed in the past but won’t change in the future We protect and defend our identity Our own development is hidden because we don’t have a map

ESCAPING OUR EGO Who would I like to be next? Carry a map and begin to hone your developmental GPS

BUILDING A LADDER Connect to purpose Connect to our bodies Connect to our emotions Connect to compassion for ourselves and others

HOMEWORK Pick a mindtrap you’d like to work with and practice with either the question or the habit (or both—or a new escape route you’ve been thinking of) Jot notes to yourself at least once a week about what you’re learning Come to our next session prepared to talk and think together about what is working and how to make it stick Next webinar in this series: Telling Stories of our Escape (21 May)

www.CultivatingLeadership.com www. GrowthEdgeCoaching.com (workshops for coaches) Join the conversation on twitter (@jgberger) Instagram (jennifergarveyberger) and LinkedIn