The ties that bind: Dynamics in open adoption Naomi Hesseling-Green - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Naomi Hesseling-Green

The ties that bind: Dynamics in open adoption

Open Adoption

“The planned and conscious maintaince of links between those who are adopted and their original family networks” (Ryburn, 1994, p.3)

Sharing of information Ongoing contact between birthparent and child

Why this study?

• Adoption Act 1955 “… the adopted child shall be

deemed to cease to be the child of his existing parents”

• A main critique of closed adoptions was the ongoing

distress for the birthmother

• Does this then suggest that there is also a biological

‘ownership’ that does not go away? How then might this manifest in open adoption arrangements where there is contact?

• No local study that gives attention to the voice of

adopted children in open adoption

PHENOMENOLOGY – The Lived Experience

• 9 semi-structured interviews
• 3 Adoptive Parents (2x couples, 1x Mother)
• 3 Birthparents (2x Birthmothers, 1x Birthfather)
• 3 Adoptees (Range of ages, varying degrees of openness in

adoptions)

• Intention was not to establish claims of success of failure …

but to capture the voices of those involved

Adapting to the adoption status of the family

• Grief and Loss
• Acceptance of

adoption status

• Perception and

reality How relationships are developed and maintained

• Titles and Names
• Boundaries and

communication

• Trust
• Gratitude

Integrating biological and adoptive families

• Defining ‘family’
• Stigma
• Identity
• Fit with family

Implications for Practitioners

• Role of the social

worker

• Information

availability

• Working in

adoptions

Findings

ADAPTING TO THE ADOPTION STATUS OF THE FAMILY

Grief and Loss

Adoptive Parents

• Infertility was cited

as reason for adoption for all interviewed

Birthparent

• Experience loss at

two levels: a loss of a child and a loss of a parenting role (Chapman et al, 1986)

Adoptee

• Feelings and fears
• f abandonment
• Relationship

between openness and fears of abandonment

Was it important for us to have a child with

• ur genes or was it important for us to be

parents … You have to be at a certain stage in your head that you are not just replacing a baby you can’t have I gave him his last meal, changed him, put his little going out outfit on. That was probably the really hard part, signing that paper and knowing that you have just signed away any rights to your child and there is nothing you can do from that moment on … you cease to be the mum They gave me up once, they could do it again … If I was a boy … and she wouldn’t have to buy new clothes or more toys, would she have kept me?

ADOPTEE BIRTHMOTHER ADOPTIVE PARENT

Acceptance of Adoption Status

• Acceptance of adoption status by adoptive parents can

lead to higher level of empathy for their child

• Being able and willing to engage with their child over

questions or upsets about their adoption status is an act

• f empathy
• Two key questions for adoptees: “Who do I look like and

why was I given away”

• Contact helps the child form and normalise who their

family is and who are the people involved in their lives (Gritter, 1997)

Perception and Reality

• Adoptive parents must reconcile their attitude about
• pen adoption with the reality they experience
• There may be a visual or ideal that a tight bond will

develop … reality is contact may decrease over time.

• There are no guarantees of outcomes and surety of

expectations being fulfilled.

HOW RELATIONSHIPS ARE DEVELOPED AND MAINTAINED

Titles and Names

• Birthmother seen in different ways amongst the families.

Terms such as “God Mother, Aunty, Sister, Special Friend” often used … There is a question whether the birthparents feel that this is the role that they take.

• When it came to renaming the child after the papers had

been signed, the birthparents were often involved or considered

Boundaries and Communication

• Birthparents face the challenge of showing interest in

their child without appearing too parental.

• Adoptee is also aware of this tension.
• Language used to identify relationships is a tool to

boundaries.

• “I am a mother … but I am not her mum”
• Sensitivity to “treading on toes” by both parental sets
• Adoptive parents all expressed a desire and willingness

to have more contact

Boundaries and Communication

• As in any types of relationships, clear communication

can often present the best outcomes

• When differences of expectations were explored via

adequate communication, there were changes in expectations and this set the scene for change whether it was attitude, perception or behaviour.

Trust

Birthparent Adoptive Parent Adoptee

“Good will and handshakes” There is no legal mandate for contact If birthparent is not well integrated into the family unit, they are at risk of losing contact should the relationship sour

Gratitude

• Feelings of gratitude can enable greater feelings of empathy

towards each other

• Aids in bonding relationships and can even increase trust in

each other

• Adoptive parents – grateful for the gift of a child and for being

chosen

• Birthparent – grateful to be involved in their child's life
• Adoptees – expressed gratitude for the decision their

birthparent made .. and understood the magnitude of this decision

INTEGRATING BIOLOGICAL AND ADOPTIVE FAMILIES

Defining ‘Family’

• Adoptees and adoptive parents definitions of family all

reflected the complexities of family make up.

• Birthparents all used familial terms (my son, my

daughter) and identified the child as a part of their family.

• “She’s MY daughter … but she is not OUR daughter”

Stigma

• Adoptee may experience stigma due to their adoption
• status. The effect of this stigma is underestimated and

under researched (Smalls, 2013).

• None of the adoptees in this study used the term stigma

but each reported different times of having to explain their family situation and deal with other peoples curiosity.

Identity

• Three key aspects to identity formation:
• 1. Physical characteristics
• 2. Personality characteristics
• 3. Access to biological information
• Adoption status, if integrated from an early age, enables

the adopted person to form their identity

“I am an adopted only child … that is a part of my identity”

• Direct correlation between sense of identity and
• penness in adoption

Fit with Family

• Each of the adoptees identified differences in them from

the into which they had been adopted

• These serve as a reminder of how the adoptee is

‘different’.

• Although there are many shared resemblances with

their birth family, they were still in a sense, outsiders.

Implications for Practitioners

• Power of the practitioner
• Importance of maintaining the distinction between

adoption and foster care

• Need for training

Benefits of Open Adoption

• Adoptee
• Having access to another family
• Despite being an only child in their adoptive family, two participants

had siblings through their birthparents

• Having the birthparent as a constant and knowing that she was

(and still is loved)

• Adoptive parent
• Having a wealth of information about their child’s biological

background

• ‘Curly” questions can be answered (Identified by all parts of the

triad)

• Birthparent
• Knowing and being a part of their child's life

Future Considerations

• Impact of stigma
• Incongruence in role of the birthparent
• Extent of the role of the social worker, and the extent

and impact of the power and influence of that role.

• Specialised training for adoption social workers
• What of children conceived through sperm donation.

Will the experiences and questions of those who have been adopted be echoed in these children?

References

Chapman, C., Dorner, P., Silber, K & Winterberg, T. (1996). Meeting the needs of the adoption triangle through open adoption: The

• birthmother. Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal. 3(4),

203 – 213. Gritter, J. (1997). The spirit of open adoption. Washington DC, VA: Child Welfare League of America Ryburn, M. (1994). Open adoption: Research, theory and practice. Hants, England: Avebury Small, J. (2013). Adopted in America: A study of stigma. Retrieved from http://papers.ssrn.com/so13/papers.cfm?abstract_id=228051 7