The Process of Grief Workforce Development & Training Manager, - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

The Process of Grief

Angela Riddle, LCSW

Workforce Development & Training Manager, VCBH angela.riddle@ventura.org

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Today’s Hour Journey

Grief is a shared human experience which connects us all despite age, culture and other factors. While usually associated with death (especially of a loved one), grief is the experience connected to LOSS. Grief is unique to each person and each situation and yet follows a common path. What might we encounter along the journey? How do we help ourselves and others along the way? How do we stay connected from afar? Please join me as we explore resources, knowledge, spirituality, books, poems and other tools to support healing and HOPE.

Loss and Grief

Bereavement: noun. a period of mourning after a loss, especially after the death of a loved one Grief: noun. deep or intense sorrow or distress, especially at the death of

• someone. something that causes keen distress or suffering.

www.dictionary.com

“The normal, appropriate emotional response to loss”

Dealing with Grief (2004)

As we discuss the path of grief and supporting healing, remember it may be helpful for

• ther LOSS

Loss and Grief

– “The death of a loved one may cause the most intense grief. But grief can also follow

• ther losses.” Working Through Grief: Self-Care Handbook 1999, p.4

– Trauma – Divorce/Separation – Pet – Diagnosis of a disability or illness – A Move – Loss of a dream – COVID 19: death, health, employment, financial, education, family, friends, co-workers, peers, routine, normalcy, celebrations (weddings, funerals, school events)

Age, developmental stage Gender Cultural Background /Culture Spirituality Personality Other stresses Experiences of past losses Circumstances of the loss

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“Grief is interconnected. When we feel grief for one of these losses, other unmetabolized grief sympathetically resonates with the current loss. However, as we honor one area of our grief with our attention, care, and connection with others, the opportunity exists for these attendant areas of grief to also be seen and healed.”

https://www.psychcongress.com/blog/grief-most-common- experience-being-human

Loss and Grief: Considering Culture

— There are cultural differences in the expression of grief and understanding of death and the afterlife – Some cultures respond with an outward display of emotion while others may be more quiet, while others “may rock back and forth or get on their knees to express their pain.”

– Dealing with Grief Workbook, p.10

– Beliefs of the afterlife vary – Spirituality, faith and religious rituals vary – Be mindful and respectful of cultural differences

Loss and Grief

– Profound unique individualized experience – Sometimes, we don’t understand why we (or others around us) are acting and feeling a certain way ... Maybe we are grieving a LOSS

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Grief is a Journey Not a Destination

A Common Path: what we might encounter along the way

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The Grief Journey

– Psychological – Physiological – Spiritual – Emotional – Social

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The 5 Stages of Grief

(The Kübler-Ross model)

– 1) Denial – 2) Anger – 3) Bargaining – 4) Depression – 5) Acceptance

Denial

– Shock: initial paralysis, physiological experiences of shortness of breath, tightness in the throat, muscular limpness, loss of appetite, disoriented, run on “automatic pilot”, we may even laugh, throw up or faint – Numbness – The first beliefs are: this can’t be real, there must be a mistake, this is not possible, can’t believe it, feels like you’re in a dream, feel like your loved one or the thing you lost will show up again (though your mind knows it/they won’t) – May minimize the issues – Allows us to start absorbing the new reality slowly while continuing to function

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Anger

– Though uncomfortable, is a healthy indication that we are beginning to accept the facts – Outpouring of emotions - It can be a protest to a great loss – Anger... At the loss, at the person for dying / leaving you, at the situation, at the messenger, at family and friends, at ourselves, at our spiritual being – WHY!?!, blaming – Feelings of powerlessness may lead to anxiety – Restlessness, inability to sleep – Worry you’re losing your mind – Worry about new responsibilities

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Bargaining

– There is a greater level of acknowledgement that the loss has occurred, but we are still resistant to accepting it as real and so we attempt to make deals to reverse fate – we try to negotiate the situation with ourselves, other involved persons or with

• ur spiritual being

– Seeking a way out – May try to change or delay loss: beg a partner to return, look for unlikely cures – Desire to go back in time – Self-blaming, a litany of “I should haves....”, I should have done this... I should have said that... He / she ... They ...should have ...should have ...should have... – Regrets: past arguments, not doing something or doing more to prevent the death, not saying good-bye, feeling relief they’re no longer in pain

Depression

As we realize our loss is real and we cannot change it, we experience deep sorrow – Deep pain, our heart is breaking, like we can’t breathe, a punch in the stomach...a punch to our soul – We may isolate – We may feel remorse, guilt, regret – A heaviness, darkness looms over everything – we feel like there is no way we can bear the pain – It feels like nothing will ever be all right again – Lonely, yearning, like there’s a hole – We may feel like we may die and will never be whole again – Thoughts/Fears about your own death – Reliving other sadness and losses in your life

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Acceptance

– Occurs with time – Our lives, the situation is not going to be the same as before – We come to realize that there is nothing we could do to change the outcome ... – We realize we can make it through, maybe a little stronger than we were before – More empathy for others – We begin to move forward again, we find a way forward – Renewed HOPE in a future – even though it is different from the one we imagined... New interests, new relationships, new adventures (Disney’s Up)

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The Stages of Grief: There is no

• rder or timetable- no start or end point

The Grief Journey common

experiences

Some believe grief is a lifelong process and that a element of hurt and sadness often remains, or we re-process old grief when faced with new loss For some, understanding grief is a hindsight activity – something we notice we have done after we have passed through

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Living with Grief: Re-organization

– Establishing an on-going relationship with your loss (and with your loved one) and the recognition that you will never be the same – Adjustments (resolving purpose, meaning, joy and happiness) in a world without the loved one (or loss): external, internal and spiritual – Resolving Purpose, meaning, joy and happiness in a world – It involves transcendence beyond the death (or loss)

– Transcendence beyond death, using personal spirituality and faith – Channeling your energy into and reaching out toward something positive – A search for meaning – Often means changing your attitudes toward life, death, yourself, suffering and spirit

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Living with Grief

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Grief is a journey, not a destination

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Love transcends lifetimes

Living with Grief

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Helping Along the Way:

What To Do for Yourself and Others

– Be kind to yourself Self care (for self and others) – Compassion and Gratitude and LOVE – Be patient with yourself and others – Healing Rituals – Do things that bring you joy and peace – Books, poetry, movies, songs – Support: family, friends, spiritual, professional – Spirituality – practices, community, talk to a mentor or leader from your faith – Maintain HOPE

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Helping Along the Way:

What To Do for Yourself and Others

– During times of Denial/Shock, we may not remember all the details of what was said or done, but will usually remember the compassion and kindness we experienced from friends, family, faith leaders, doctors, and other professionals – Say you’re sorry – Be forward and honest – Connect with others and be seen and heard

– Have a family or friend with you, make a phone call, stay connected

– Allow for hugs and being held – Be there to listen (active listening handout) – Be comfortable with silence

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Helping Along the Way:

What To Do for Yourself and Others

– Allow expressions of grief (yours and others’) – When Anger is present, realize that the anger is not directed at you and do not react back with anger or frustration - Remain compassionate and supportive – When deciding whether or not to view the body (make your own decision, remember there is no right choice – everyone’s journey is unique) – Expect Guilt and allow for the verbalizing of concerns and expression of emotions – listen (few survivors escape without some feeling of guilt) – Reassure yourself (or the bereaved person) that you/they did all they could and the best they could

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Helping Along the Way:

What To Do for Yourself and Others

– Respect the need for patience and expect change with passage of time – Share your feelings (such as loneliness, anger, and sadness) openly and honestly with other people, as you are ready, rather than hold them in (talking, crying, writing) – Share memories, talk about the loved one, make a scrapbook (paper or media) – Take care of your health – Healthy eating, avoid: alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, and other drugs (will make things worse) – Rest: sleep, routine around sleep times, relaxation techniques, lighter schedule – Exercise (walk, swim, run – per your healthcare provider), include friends/family – Stay connected (if not in-person then via phone calls or technology: ZOOM, Face Time)

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Helping Along the Way:

What To Do for Yourself and Others

“Myth: A good way to express sympathy is to say “I know how you feel” Fact: Everyone feels grief in a different way. It’s probably not possible for anyone to know exactly what another person is going through after a loss. Myth: Moving on with your life means you’re forgetting the one you lost. Fact: Moving on means you’ve accepted your loved one’s death. That’s not the same as forgetting. You can adjust to a new life while always keeping your loved

• ne’s memory a part of you.”

Working Through Grief, p. 7

Acceptance and Recovery

“The memory of the loss will always be a part of your life. It cannot be erased nor should it be. Memory is essential for healing”

Grief Studyguide and Workbook, p. 25 Working Through Grief, p. 14

Helping Along the Way: Especially hard times

— Holidays — Birthdays — Anniversary of the loss — Changes in Season —It’s normal to feel grief reactions again —Talk with friends and Family about what might help you make the time less stressful —Keep Traditions or Change them and make new Traditions —Do something special to honor the memory

Working Through Grief, p.22-23

There is no right way or wrong way.... No “should” or “have to”

Resources www.wellnesseveryday.org

Didi Hirsch Suicide Bereavement Support Group Newbury Park: (424) 362-2912 Hospice of the Conejo Thousand Oaks: (805) 495-2145 Livingston Memorial Visiting Nurse Association Ventura: (805) 642-0239 ProCare Hospice Oxnard: (805) 988-1173 Suicide L.O.S.S. Group, Camarillo Hospice (805) 389-6870 The Church of the Epiphany Grief and Loss Support Group Oak Park: (818) 991-4797 The Compassionate Friends Supporting Family after a Child Dies Thousand Oaks: (805) 579-7065

• r (805) 443-1905

TLC Hospice Moorpark: (805) 517-1620 Life After Loss Grief Support Group Simi Valley: (805) 415-3709 The Church of the Epiphany Grief and Loss Support Group Oak Park: (818) 991-4797

Faith Communities

https://www.wellnesseveryday.org/preventing-suicide/support-after-a-loss

Helping Along the Way: Healing Rituals

– “Rituals are actions that symbolically connect us to something meaningful. They can be comforting, express feelings, bring about a sense of closure, or keep an important part of the past alive. When rituals are done to commemorate a loss, they honor both the person who is doing them and the person they've lost”

– https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/supersurvivors/201909/the-power-rituals-heal-grief

– “Whatever your religious background or beliefs, the rituals and traditions that take place after death are designed to honor the deceased and offer emotional and instrumental support to those who are grieving.” https://www.verywellmind.com/understanding-grief-in-the-age-of-the-covid-19-pandemic-4801931

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Helping Along the Way: Healing Rituals

– Connect us to our stories, our histories, the strength of our ancestors, our cultures, our faith – enhance our spirituality – Give meaning, purpose, closure and energy – There is no right way... There is only your way – Funerals, eulogy, obituary, memorial service; a gathering with friends; writing a letter; writing a poem or a song; art – Lighting a candle – Saying a prayer – Planting a tree or flowers – Make a special scrapbook or photo-album (paper or media)

Helping Along the Way: Healing Rituals

– Spirituality, faith and religion is a source of great solace for some. – Shared prayer, community and rituals (religious services, annual gatherings at the cemetery, shared meals) – Spiritual and faith-based beliefs may also be helpful in developing a larger meaning to the loss – These rituals also help bring people together, which allows for the care which supports the healing process

Helping Along the Way: Healing Rituals

– “Gardening or communing with nature, which offers ample opportunity to observe the rhythms of life and death in the natural world, is also soothing to some people...”

– https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/easing-grief-through-religion-and-spirituality

– “ ...simply holding images of nature in our minds, and in particular images of nature’s healing and regenerative properties, can provide a powerful inspiration to keep going when it feels like our world has been destroyed: ‘Nature’s healing forces can serve as powerful recuperative images for those who have experienced a death or other significant loss. Images of the rebirth in nature can be useful as symbols for the strong internal forces, bringing hope of surviving the loss. From monumental newsworthy events to ordinary insignificant occurrences, one can witness the incredible destructive power and the amazing healing capabilities of nature…’ ”

– https://www.mnn.com/family/family-activities/stories/how-nature-can-help-us-heal-from-grief

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Helping Along the Way: Healing Rituals Honoring Culture & Tradition

Helping Along the Way: Complex and Traumatic Grief

– “Every loss is hard. But grief may be especially intense, complex or lengthy if you lost someone very close to you, or if the cause of death is unknown or

• unusual. For example...:

– the death of a child, parent, spouse, or life partner – a sudden violent death – a death due to suicide.”

– Working Through Grief, p.5

Complicated/Unresolved Grief:

Becoming stuck in the process, the process stops or never begins (10%)

– “Complicated grief: Grief that is complicated by adjustment disorders (especially depressed and anxious mood or disturbed emotions and behavior), major depression, substance abuse, and post- traumatic stress disorder are Complicated grief is identified by the extended length of time of the symptoms, the interference in normal function caused by the symptoms, or by the intensity of the symptoms (for example, intense suicidal thoughts or acts). – Complicated grief may appear as a complete absence of grief and mourning, an ongoing inability to experience normal grief reactions, delayed grief, conflicted grief, or chronic grief. Factors that contribute to the chance that one may experience complicated grief include the suddenness of the death, the gender of the person in mourning, and the relationship to the deceased (for example, an intense, extremely close, or very contradictory relationship). – One who avoids any reminders of the person who died, who constantly thinks or dreams about the person who died, and who gets scared and panics easily at any reminders of the person who died may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. – Substance abuse may occur, frequently in an attempt to avoid painful feelings about the loss and symptoms (such as sleeplessness), ... – can also be treated ...psychological therapy.”

– https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=26262p.5

Grief is a natural process that doesn’t necessary

require treatment - Complicated grief can be treated with psychotherapy

Working Through Grief, p. 10

Resources www.wellnesseveryday.org

– Suicide Prevention Lifeline Free • Confidential 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – Crisis Text Line Text HOME to 741741 Free 24/7 support – Ventura County Crisis Team 1-866-998-2243 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – 911 – Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255

• r Text HEARME to 839863

Free • Confidential 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – Crisis Text Line Text HOME to 741741 Free 24/7 support – Ventura County Crisis Team 1-866-998-2243 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – 911

https://www.wellnesseveryday.org/preventing-suicide/support-after-a-loss

COVID 19: Both Individual and Collective Grief

– “We are all dealing with the collective loss of the world we knew” – Anticipatory Grief – fears of an uncertain future which we feel powerless to control; Fear that the greater loss is yet to come; preparing for a death – We are mourning what we’re missing – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bravery-in- bereavement/202004/how-cope-bereavement-during-the-covid-19-pandemic

COVID 19: Grief

“Some signs that you might be coping with grief in light of the pandemic include: – Trouble focusing on normal tasks – Sleeping much more or less than usual – Feelings of anger and irritability – Headaches and upset stomach – Fatigue or low energy – Re-experiencing feelings of past grief – Engaging in activities such as eating, drinking, or online shopping to cope with anxiety – Avoiding thinking or talking about the pandemic The good news is that people tend to be resilient in the face of grief. Once the immediate crisis has passed, people are usually able to reach a place of acceptance where they are able to adapt and find ways to cope with their loss.“

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bravery-in-bereavement/202004/how-cope-bereavement-during-the-covid-19-pandemic

COVID 19: Grief

– “A Word From Verywell – Grief is a normal response to loss, but the COVID-19 pandemic has upended many aspects of the normal grieving process. Even if you have not yet experienced a direct loss, don’t assume that what you are feeling is not grief. – Whether you are coping with job loss, financial instability, loneliness, or a general sense of anxiety about coronavirus, the emotional upheaval caused by coronavirus may trigger feelings of grief and loss. How you deal with what you are feeling can depend on a wide variety of factors including your overall resilience and social support systems. – Give yourself permission to mourn and treat yourself and others with kindness during this difficult time.”

– https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bravery-in-bereavement/202004/how-cope-bereavement-during-the-covid-19-pandemic

COVID 19: Risk of Complicated Grief

– “Feelings of Guilt – You might be left with regret because you could not be there to support your loved one in their final moments. While these feelings are difficult, it is important to remember that this is not a situation you could control. – Lack of Closure – The grieving process usually involves a period of saying goodbye after the person has passed away. When dealing with a highly contagious illness, the bereaved are often deprived of this important step.” – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bravery-in- bereavement/202004/how-cope-bereavement-during-the-covid-19-pandemic

COVID 19: Risk of Complicated Grief

“Social distancing means that friends and family cannot gather to hold a funeral, memorial, or another religious service. Rather than a traditional funeral, many families are faced with a small graveside service with only a very small group of mourners. – Family members who have been exposed to the virus may be quarantined and unable to see their loved ones or attend a burial service. – The inability to spend time with loved ones afterward can make it more difficult to come to terms with the reality of death.” – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bravery-in- bereavement/202004/how-cope-bereavement-during-the-covid-19-pandemic

COVID 19: Risk of Complicated Grief

– “Loss of Traditions ... – Feelings of Isolation One of the greatest challenges of grieving in the age of COVID-19 is the isolation that the disease creates. – Grief can be an isolating experience under normal circumstances, but social distancing and quarantine have made the process lonelier still. Loss is a reminder of how many things are out of our control—and sudden and unexpected loss can bring on feelings of anxiety and fear along with that grief. – Not only are people unable to be there to offer comfort to others, but they are also forced to grieve alone. Instead of basic human comforts such as the embrace of a friend, people are cut off from trusted social support networks in their darkest moments.”

– https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bravery-in-bereavement/202004/how-cope- bereavement-during-the-covid-19-pandemic

Grief & COVID19 Helping Along the Way: What To Do for Yourself & Others

– “Check-In With Others – While virtual meetings can never replace real-life support, regular phone calls and text messages can help bridge the gap. If you are grieving, make it a habit to reach out to your loved ones each day. If you want to offer support to someone who has experienced a loss, be sure to reach out however you can. – Text messages can be a great way to check-in and let the person know you are thinking about them, but a phone call can help provide an even more personal connection... – You can also help support others by offering to make phone calls for them, dropping off care packages, leaving prepared meals at their door, or picking up groceries.”

– https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bravery-in-bereavement/202004/how-cope-bereavement-during-the- covid-19-pandemic

Grief & COVID19 Helping Along the Way: What To Do for Yourself & Others

– “COVID-19 might rob you of the physical presence of loved ones as you grieve, but you can still maintain an emotional connection to people who will support you during this time”

– https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bravery-in-bereavement/202004/how-cope-bereavement-during-the-covid- 19-pandemic

– The use of technology becomes especially important to connect with stories, family and friends, on-line mental health professionals and support groups – All of the ways to increase self-care and supporting others along the way are still important, but may need to be adapted – Decrease risk of Complicated Grief by working through The Grief Process – Seek professional help if needed

Helping Children Cope with Death

– Children’s coping with death depends much on their age, maturity and understanding of death – As is true for everyone, the child’s experience of grief is unique to them

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Helping Children Cope with Death

– Infants and Toddlers: Though cannot understand death, they do experience the emotions of the adults around them and sense a disruption in their schedule. They will show distress if a significant caretaker is suddenly gone – Help by keeping their usual routines and schedules. Establish routine and schedules if they did not exist. Keep them physically close to you to increase feelings of safety – Younger children (3 age 6): view death as temporary and reversible; may view death as punishment for their own thoughts or fulfillment of angry wishes; they might act out their feelings through play and may ask about the deceased’s return; may revert to bed- wetting and thumb-sucking (it will pass) – Help by keepings answers brief and simple and make sure they know they are not the cause of death – repeat yourself often, as necessary

Helping Children Cope with Death

School Age (6 to 9): Begin to see death as permanent and realize things can die. They try to deny the death happened and act “as if”. They fear other loved ones will die. After the initial shock and numbness, when one starts to acknowledge the loss, a child may feel abandoned or feel they are somehow at fault, that they somehow caused the death Help by encouraging the child to talk about their thoughts and feelings and ask

• questions. Reassure them you will continue to be there for them. Reassure them they

are not the cause School Age (9 to 12): Begin to develop a deeper understanding of death. They feel angry

• r guilty and may become aggressive and irritable or may withdraw from others and try

to hide their feelings Help by encouraging the child to talk about the person who died and express their

• feelings. Let the child know it’s okay to show emotions by showing your own – genuinely

and safely. Reassure them you will continue to be there for them

Helping Children Cope with Death

– Adolescents (12+): understand that death is irreversible. Teens may think they don’t need help or act like they don’t want to talk about the death. They may try to hide their feelings. Feelings of anger or guilt may arise. They begin to explore personal philosophies of life and death and spirituality. They may try to take care of others and may need help finding safe coping skills. – Help by providing structure and guidance even when met with resistance; model safe coping skills; maintain family closeness while respecting privacy

Helping Children Cope with Death: it takes time but your child will heal

– Tell the truth – choose your words carefully: – if you say “they went away”, the child may expect them to come back; if you say “they died in their sleep”, the child might become afraid to go to sleep – Be specific – eg. “died from a very serious illness called cancer” which helps the child differentiate it from “the cold” – Tell the child it’s okay to cry or feel angry or feel sad – name the emotion and allow the child to see the adults express their emotions – Let them know you are always there to help and to listen – Give lots of hugs – physical touch helps the child feel safe and may calm fears that you may die too

Helping Children Cope with Death: Healing Rituals

– Funerals: if the child is at an age and maturity to understand the event, attending funerals can be healing – Give the child a choice. If they don’t want to go, it’s okay, but knowing the reason will help you address fears and questions – If a child does attend:

– Prepare the child, let them know what to expect; describe the setting as a place of worship or a funeral home – If there will be a viewing, describe what the body will look like – Let them know you might cry because you are sad, describe how others may behave and let the child know it’s okay if they cry

Some Signs a Child is Having Difficulty Working Through the Grief

– Extreme behavior changes – Frequent nightmares – Withdrawal – Depression – Physical complaints If these problems last or appears severe, be sure to seek professional help

Helping your Child Cope with Grief

– “Be patient -- You and your child are grieving and the most intense parts of grief often take longer than we might want. Grief also changes us in many ways. So, be patient as you and your child experience your grief. Be patient with your child with

• repetition. A child often has to come back to the same details

and questions. Patiently spend time with your child as they (and you) grow, change and continue to construct their (your) life story.”

– https://childrengrieve.org/resources/10-ways-to-help-a-grieving-child

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Helping Children Cope with Death: Healing Rituals and Practices

– Writing a letter to the deceased may help the child express difficult emotions – the letter can be kept by the child, left at the grave, etc – Drawing a picture/art is a different way to express emotion – Lighting a candle – Saying a prayer – Writing or Reciting a poem or a song – Movies, Books, Songs – Planting a tree or flowers – Having a special memorial service the child can help plan – Make a special scrapbook or photo-album (paper or computer)

Helping Children Cope with Death: Books https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwwGBVa1j9A

Helping Children Cope with Death:

Books -A Kid's Journey Through Grief (English and Spanish)

– A Kid's Journey Through Grief - Coloring and Activity Book

Susan K. Beeney, R.N. and Jo Anne Chung, B.S.R.N.

– “When someone a child love dies, their journey begins and grief is the path they must travel. This book is their map! Inside this handbook is the map of "The Lands of Mourning." With the help of coloring pages, activities and a little frog, they will travel through... – Reality Mountain and the fog of strange feelings – The Valley of Pain, but watch out for the swamps of sadness, the volcano of anger, the dark woods of fear, and the rocks of guilt – The Hills of Change with its long desert of grief – The Springs of New Normal where life feels good again – With the help an adult, this coloring and activity book will show a grieving child where they are and where they need to go during this sad time of life.” – https://www.hnormanwrightstore.com/A-Kids-Journey-Through-Grief_p_16.html

Shared Human Experience: Connection through Movies and Books

– Many movies have been made that begin in despair and end in

• triumph. These films can help you

get in touch with this kind of transformative hope. – Not every movie is for everyone (find those that speak to you) – Preview for children to make sure they match your family’s values and your children’s age/developmental capacities

Shared Human Experience: Connection through Movies and Books

There are many, here are some of my favorites

– Simon Birch – based on John Irving's

book "A Prayer for Owen Meany,"

– Steel Magnolias – Robert Harling (after

the passing of his sister)

– Forrest Gump (Novel by Winston Groom) – Harry Potter (J.K.Rowling) – Old Yeller (Novel by Fred Gipson) – Charlotte’s Web (Movel by E.B.White)

– Big Hero 6 (Disney) – Coco (Disney Pixar) – The Book of Life (20th Century Fox) – AVATAR: The Last Airbender

(Nickelodeon)

– Up (Disney Pixar) – Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom) – The Christmas Shoes (Donna VanLiere)

Adult Joe Wenteworth: “When someone you love dies, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in pieces over time, like how the mail stops coming. What I remember most to this day was my mother's scent and how I hated it when it began to

• disappear. First from her closets, then from

her dresses she had sewn herself and then finally from her bedsheets and pillow cases.” https://www.quotes.net/mquote/86503 Themes: grief, friendship,

• ptimism, faith, purpose

“The opening of this colourful animation has gone down in history as perhaps the most heartbreaking 10 minutes of any modern children’s film. In a few short minutes we’re given a moving sketch of love and loss between husband and wife Carl and Ellie. Though the rest of the film follows Carl and boy scout Russell on a fantastical journey, grief and life after loss remain key themes throughout the film. With help from Russell, Carl learns that honouring Ellie’s memory doesn’t necessarily mean missing out on life’s adventures.” https://www.funeralguide.co.uk/blog/10-films-about-grief-and-loss

“Though it may seem like an easy-going children’s fantasy flick, Disney’s Bridge to Terabithia is a moving journey through childhood grief. A heartbreaking plot twist means it’s not an easy film to watch at times, but it doesn’t leave you in despair. Ultimately, the characters of Bridge to Terabithia learn that there is more than one way to honour a loved one’s memory.” https://www.funeralguide.co.uk/blog/10-films-about-grief-and-loss

https://youtu.be/iZx1W6cHw-g

7 Books by J.K. Rowling 8 Movies

– “Children grieve family members they can’t remember or never met. – Relationships continue even after a person dies – Maintaining a relationship with those who died can be wonderful and healthy, but it is important to also keep living. – You can grieve someone who is still alive. – People who have experienced devastating losses often see the world in a way that is different than those who have not. – We grieve four-legged and feathered friends. – The people we love are always with us, and that provides us strength.” – https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-in-harry-potter/

Shared Human Experience: Connection through Poetry & Song

– “healing of grief is not a task of the intellect, but rather,

• ne of the imaginative soul...

– Music is the poetry of our age, and poetry is often the fastest way of accessing our souls.”

– https://www.psychcongress.com/blog/grief-most-common-experience-being- human

Poetry

https://youtu.be/e8WoT2W8_Q8

Poetry

Poetry

– Light of Dawn by James E. Stanley I light a candle every day, Hoping the pain will fade away But with the light of each new dawn, Another day and you’re still gone – Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf, So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day Nothing gold can stay.

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Poetry

Pets bring companionship, fun, and joy to our lives. They can add structure to your day, keep you active and social, provide comfort that helps us cope with life’s challenges. This bond with them explains the grief we feel when they die.

Music

– Songs help us in meditation and to connect to feelings, the human experience and help move us through the Grief Process – Remember songs that speak to your faith and strengthen your spirituality – Write a song

https://youtu.be/u77wp5cAPwY

Mindfulness & Meditation

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“Mindfulness meditation practice couldn’t be simpler: take a good seat, pay attention to the breath, and when your attention wanders, return.” without judgment... (some use sound or visual meditation focus)

https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-how-to-do-it/

Gratitude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpkEvBtyL7M

Your Love for your Loved One lives on – Feel It, Share It

– Learning to sit with grief through mindfulness helps us reconnect with the natural and human world around us. – “Honoring our experience of loss that leads to a robust affirmation of life and a deep love for all that matters to us.” – https://www.psychcongress.com/blo g/grief-most-common-experience- being-human

References

– https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/ – Working Through Grief Self-Care Handbook https://products.channingbete.com/esamples/CBC0006/index.html – Wolz, Birgit Ph.D., M.F.T.; Using Movies to Transform Grief - A 3-Step Process for Healing: http://www.cinematherapy.com/birgitarticles/griefandhealing.html – Dealing with Grief: a Workbook for Prehospital Personnel (Ventura County Public Health Department EMS April 2004) – Helping Your Child Grieve; Ventura County Behavioral Health (pamphlet 1997) – https://www.psychcongress.com/blog/grief-most-common-experience-being-human – https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-how-to-do-it/

References

– http://secure- web.cisco.com/1KpTUivUzUHvVNVN_4ichc9lm9jxBtJyQ9TT2PiDbwcIxO305Xw6b03oNL3vUp3oovk15pplO4lXomfy3bq3ilNFM8YF60UBV9qvHTIbw6evirL9iSV6lZ1 Q6CFp7Rwg0oDvntiofBa5Uxe2xlg8S8ClRXX7r4Fn2J81IIljvkJ- auHaAflusuF6dTZtJqG_8YKO22cbtJPzgqnnpJUuIi7MteXryBJ6FqquUMJkZs2D56ib_EaVDxIHdRRwehw7y2i8JN6QsPEzcZGoW99UzeSZURkeLpJGYNWDi- 9IQONx11Ta985Xm4JxaW-9dWRJ-RVfRIgVjCxRleUWDAZQT1cX3Lr91QSzSVRHR- AFbfqb730cFRjYHi9506zPI1wfloqoDQqXmS4r2SznnNDSt1aViAF3Y3lqrcCIltUgAKDUqCMsrJwVbx8ASSxpZJNGS/http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cinematherapy.com%2Fbir gitarticles%2Fgriefandhealing.html

– https://markrickerby.blog/2015/08/11/how-we-survive-poem-on-grieving/ – https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheets – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/supersurvivors/201909/the-power- rituals-heal-grief – https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=26262

References

– https://www.wellnesseveryday.org/preventing-suicide/support-after-a-loss – http://studentlife.rmu.edu/rmu-counseling-center/referral-information/grief – https://www.verywellmind.com/understanding-grief-in-the-age-of-the-covid-19- pandemic-4801931 – https://www.phoebegarnsworthy.com/spiritual-healing-guided-meditations/ – https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/movies-to-help-kids-deal-with-grief – https://www.funeralguide.co.uk/blog/10-films-about-grief-and-loss – https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-in-harry-potter/ – https://www.allinahealth.org/health-conditions-and-treatments/grief- resources/suggested-books/books-for-grieving-children

Images (links)

– (1) https://www.navigatinggrief.com/grief-101 – (2)https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fthegoodgrieftrust%2Fposts%2 Fyour-grief-is-unique-to-you-we-all-grieve-differently-griefmatters- nationalgrief%2F2719013094838600%2F&psig=AOvVaw1gjIifvXCFtIgiIV0ZuJe1&ust=1591572782436000&source=i mages&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCPCVjOas7ukCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD – (3) https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk03xCovPdmBWozxcSIu-l3QF- EOXhA:1591389047631&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=image+grief+unique&client=firefox-b-1- d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiuoIiXwuvpAhWwCjQIHbm6CDoQ7Al6BAgKEBk&biw=1280&bih=607#imgrc=POS0p5MbWj 9AZM – (4) https://thegrieftoolbox.com/artwork/grieving-personal-unique-experience-poem – (5) https://www.loveliveson.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Denial-Stage-of-Grief-Meme--1024x555.jpg – (6) https://www.loveliveson.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Stages-of-Grief-Meme-Depression-1024x555.jpeg

Images (links)

– (6) https://www.loveliveson.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Stages-of-Grief- Meme-Depression-1024x555.jpeg – (7) https://lovesagame.com/stages/ – (8) https://www.loveliveson.com/5-stages-of-grief/ – (9) https://i2.wp.com/nglic.blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Grief-Learn-to- swim.png?resize=524%2C524&ssl=1 – (10) https://www.facebook.com/results22habits/photos/denial-is-saying-your- doing-a-diet-to-lose-weight-denial-is-trying-to-convenienc/2396629403696863/ – (11)https://jenniferwaugh.com/wpcontent/uploads/2017/05/rsz_feeling_your_way _through_grief-e1501737253936-683x675.jpg

Images (links)

– (12) https://griefinspired.com/wp-content/uploads/2017-06-03-18.19.27-1080x675.jpg – (13) https://agnesian.com/sites/default/files/wp-images/Rainbow-and-hope.jpg – (14) https://darcycounselingservices.com/tag/anger/ – (15) https://counselingwellnesspgh.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/grief-counseling- 682527202-1170x780.jpg – (16) https://ideas.hallmark.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Grief_LittlebyLittle.jpg – (17)https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Faspirecounselingmo.com%2Fgrie f-loss-therapy%2F&psig=AOvVaw281DQQ8Bf012mOyz- 0IhTF&ust=1591639317492000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCPCjpfCk8OkCF QAAAAAdAAAAABAR – 18) https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcTLPwl2- 0_qZi5WX4dOv_DmHAYLiHNdrD0kRH5-oxFRJKQU79hW&usqp=CAU – (19) https://i.imgflip.com/36r67h.jpg

Images (links)

– (20) https://media1.s-nbcnews.com/j/newscms/2020_03/3183731/200113-stock-pair-of- hands-ew-348p_07309e35d89a167b4d576a0f7e7bdeda.fit-760w.jpg – (21) https://livingfullout.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Managing-Grief.png – (22) https://encrypted- tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcRyJBxrh9mM5jy0yoNPBNx6KtkF4Kf_to5QEpmhW 3eZN2iLqmtB&usqp=CAU – (23) https://childrengrieve.org/images/website/Resources/bigstock--143831339.jpg – (24) https://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html – (25) https://www.emilypagelockamy.com/post/moving-beyond-the-5-stages-of-grief – (26) https://www.emilypagelockamy.com/post/moving-beyond-the-5-stages-of-grief – (27) https://www.mnn.com/family/family-activities/stories/how-nature-can-help-us-heal- from-grief