Never Good Enough: Advising Perfectionist Students Katie Dunn, - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Never Good Enough: Advising Perfectionist Students

Katie Dunn, Senior Academic Advisor, Brandeis University NACADA Region 1 2018

NACADA Region 1 2018

Think of a perfectionistic student you worked with recently… 1) What thoughts, feelings or behaviors did they exhibit? 2) How did their perfectionism impact their academics?

How do researchers define perfectionism?

NACADA Region 1 2018

• “The pursuit of extremely high

performance expectations, or high personal standards.”

Perfectionism is…

(Slaney, Rice & Ashby, 2002)

NACADA Region 1 2018

• Self-Oriented: Extremely high

performance standards for themselves, drive for perfection comes from within

• Socially Prescribed: Believe
• thers hold extremely high

performance standards for them, internalize these expectations Types of Perfectionism

NACADA Region 1 2018

Self-Oriented Perfectionists:

• Take personal pride in

achievements, success is a result

• f their effort and hard work
• Attribute failures to factors within

and (sometimes) outside control

• Still feel a great deal of frustration

and anger after any sort of failure Interpreting Successes and Failures

NACADA Region 1 2018

Socially Prescribed Perfectionists:

• Success is expected rather than

something to be proud of; often attributed to external factors such as luck

• Focus on failures, failures are attributed

to internal factors, assume personal blame Interpreting Successes and Failures

Is perfectionism on the rise in young people?

NACADA Region 1 2018

• Perfectionism measured

longitudinally in 41,000+ American, Canadian, and British college students (Curran & Hill, 2017)

• Between 1989-2016, self-oriented

perfectionism increased 10% and socially prescribed perfectionism increased 33%

• Widespread social media use, a rise

in meritocracy, specifically that a college degree is inevitable, given as possible theories.

Perfectionism & Young Adults

In what ways does perfectionism negatively impact success and well-being?

NACADA Region 1 2018

• Characterized by discrepancy: “the

perception that one consistently fails to meet the standards set for

• neself.”(Slaney Rice, & Ashby, 2002)
• Self-worth is contingent on meeting

these excessively high standards

• Very sensitive to criticism, highly

concerned about making any mistakes

• Goals are performance-focused

Maladaptive Perfectionism

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Maladaptive perfectionism associated with:

• Increased depression
• Increased anxiety
• Difficulty regulating emotions
• Drinking alcohol to cope
• Low self esteem and self efficacy
• “Mastery avoidance”
• Procrastination

Maladaptive Perfectionism

What are some environmental influences

• n perfectionism?

NACADA Region 1 2018

Parenting Style:

• Maladaptive perfectionists reported

their parents adopted a more authoritarian parenting style

• Self-oriented perfectionists

reported their parents adopted a more authoritative parenting style

Family Influences

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Social Reaction Model:

• Children may develop perfectionist

tendencies as a way to cope with a harsh and/or chaotic family environment

• Perfectionism seen as a way to

escape, avoid shame, develop a sense of control.

Family Influences

NACADA Region 1 2018

Helicopter Parenting:

• A study of college students and their

mothers by Schiffrin & Liss (2017) found children’s reports of maternal helicopter parenting were associated with maladaptive perfectionism Parent perfectionism:

• Some studies have suggested children

may develop perfectionistic tendencies

• f the same-sex parent through

modeling behaviors

Family Influences

NACADA Region 1 2018

• Lack of challenge, continual success without

experience of failure

• “Stringent expectations” from teachers and peers
• Peer groups built around ability, identity as “the

smart kid,” positive feedback based on achievement

• Doing well in school a way to please others,

reinforce self-worth; doing poorly associated with disappointment, shame

School Influences

Can perfectionism ever be good or helpful?

NACADA Region 1 2018

• Strive for excellence and mastery and gain

pleasure from achievements but are able to cope with less than perfect

• Tend to be orderly and conscientious
• In most cases meet high standards they set
• Shown to have high levels of:

Ø Self esteem and self-efficacy Ø Interpersonal adjustment Ø Emotional regulation Ø Academic achievement (GPA)

Adaptive Perfectionism or “Healthy Strivers”

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University of Texas Counseling Center, 2014

How can we best work with perfectionist students?

NACADA Region 1 2018

• Listen empathically and take student

seriously-this can be hard sometimes!

• Affirm students’ strengths and validate

concerns

• Ask open ended questions from a place of

curiosity and non-judgment

• Avoid calling the student a “perfectionist”

as that label may be perceived negatively

Building Rapport

NACADA Region 1 2018

• Ask gently challenging questions:

Ø What do you mean by that statement? Ø What’s the worst that will happen? Ø How might you handle that? Ø How might you advise a friend in a similar situation?

• Acknowledge a culture of perfectionism if it exists at your

school and normalize less than perfect

• Contextualize the long-term importance of the situation
• Encourage “healthy striving” and achieving balance over

perfectionism, introduce concept of self-compassion

Additional Tools and Techniques

NACADA Region 1 2018

• Cognitive Restructuring/Reframing of Beliefs:

Ø Notice “thought errors” and critique them Ø Where did this belief come from? Ø Is it objectively true? Ø What evidence do you have? Ø Is it helpful? Ø Is there another way to look at this?

• Escape the avoidance/anxiety loop with “exposure.”

Good enough is acceptable.

• Use the policies of your school to help but not further

hinder your student!

Additional Tools and Techniques

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“Thought Error” Example

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Anxiety/Avoidance Graph

Case Studies

Final Thoughts

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• Perfectionism is a multidimensional characteristic
• n the rise among today’s students
• Perfectionism is influenced by deep rooted factors

such as personality, family, school, peers, and culture

• Perfectionism can lead to negative thoughts and

behaviors which result in poorer mental health

• “Healthy striving” is a useful alternative framework

to counter perfectionism

• Helping a student notice their perfectionism is an

important first step

Summary and Takeaways

THANKS!

Questions?

Katie Dunn, Senior Academic Advisor, Brandeis University kdunn@brandeis.edu