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LONELINESS AND COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT: COMMUNITY FORUM 18th AUGUST 2019 By Rev. Jan Crombie Indeed welcome; and very special gratitude to the panellists today, Liz, Stewart, Carolyn and Kelly – we look forward to their insights in a while, and then their involvement as we open the forum for us all. As Graeme has said, the idea of a Community Forum, on this particular topic, grew from a talk I did with the local Men’s Shed in March. Prior to that my interest had grown with work I was doing in Melbourne with the Anglican agencies, particularly the Brotherhood of St Laurence. The Brotherhood has a significant research staff and the community effects of loneliness was emerging as a major area of research. My work in Melbourne was in partnerships, engaging parishes with the agencies and the community. Increasingly, we were identifying the simple action of gathering people as a need in the neighbourhood; gathering for social interaction, hospitality, and the opportunity for human contact. Mixed in the awareness for me was my responsibility also to coordinate the 63 Parish Op Shops through Melbourne and Geelong. The stories of regular visitors, as in often daily, again for that human contact, were noticeably increasing – and the Op Shops were responding with areas to have a sit down and cuppa, and other spaces for getting together, amongst the bric a’ brac of the Op Shop treasures.
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As my consciousness of these things was stirred, the Hugh Mackay phenomena of books focussed on the social issues affecting Australians was moving increasingly into this area of community connection and human isolation. Mackay is a significant social researcher who continually diagnoses what gives hope and meaning in Australian society. His latest book “Australia Reimagined: Towards a more compassionate and less anxious society” is very telling. His 2014 book “The Art of Belonging: It’s not where you live, it’s how you live” was a substantial influence in naming human loneliness as a social health disorder. Meanwhile global research and response was taking off in this whole area of the cause and effects of isolation and lack of community connection. It was diagnosed that loneliness is now a cause of death, on the same level as
- smoking. And then the UK Government appointed a Minister for Loneliness in
January 2018.
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So, a purpose of today’s Forum is certainly to raise awareness of this issue – but I think also to help each of us discern the reality in our own life, and community. I would hope then we can open the forum to imagine ways we can continue to connect to ensure the common good in our neighbourhoods. My sense would be that many of us gathered here today are passionate about community. Not only do we recognise the inherent human need to group together, to be human together, to find our belonging place, but we are also passionate about the nurture of communities so that we can indeed be creative, flourishing places that are best- practice ways of community life. Another key issue for me is how we approach this whole issue of loneliness – it has been moved into a “health crisis” status by many, and, it seems to me, is merging into carrying a stigma about it, almost of judgement of failure that loneliness is somehow a result of not reaching your human potential. Or, is it a fad? I mean why has this condition emerged now? Haven’t there always been lonely people? These are good things to think through to enable us to construct our own belief framework. Australian culture is always too ready to move into naming and categorising groups
- f people and conditions…. for example – ‘boat people’, ‘yuppies’, ‘dole bludgers’,
‘lone rangers’, ‘inner-city latte sipping elite’, etc. The definition of “alone” – no one else present. The definition of “loneliness” – sadness because one has no friends or company. So straight away we understand the human condition of loneliness is associated with feeling; and we know this is true because you can be surrounded by lots of people and feel acute loneliness.
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The crossover line that is causing the social alarm in this present day is the line into a chronic condition that is causing significant consequences around human health, in particular, mental and emotional health. In the course of life we can all expect to experience loneliness, that sadness of spirit, but we all expect to shift out of it – and for it not to happen too often. Something has changed in our society for this to emerge as a worrying condition – and it is being noticed worldwide. Let’s look at key contributing factors. The stark reality of a fragmented society within which important connections are breaking down is upon us. It now seems like a throw-away line to acknowledge that the rate of change of our day to day structures has never been as rapid – but we have to acknowledge that there is a huge consequence to the revolution of information and technology communication and its by-products. Most particularly,
- ur social cohesion. What are some of the cause and effect contributors?
Trust breakdown – the public have developed a deep distrust of institutions, politicians, banks, businesses, churches, and even sports people. This framework has infiltrated neighbourliness culture. Hugh Mackay made the shocking revelation that neighbours don’t trust each other now. So, it’s not just a matter of not knowing your neighbour, but that next level of human disintegration of trust. Emotional breakdown – relationship breakdowns continue, with partnerships, families, friendships…this causes huge emotional pain; including loss of probably the most important connection of life identity; i.e., intimacy loneliness. It would seem a related effect could be the increased number of people choosing to live alone; the most recent ABS survey showed 25% of households are single people. The deep reaching effect is that emotional breakdown is connected to the breakdown of community. Here I will quote Tony Doherty a “retired” Catholic priest in his own comment on Mackay’s book.
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“As society becomes more fragmented because of such matters as our fear of accepting change and failure to appreciate the qualities of those from different backgrounds, the pressure on our emotional life and our sanity becomes more
- intense. In some form of tragic spiral, this social dislocation breeds epidemics of
anxiety, depression and obesity, which in turn lead to greater community disintegration” Mental breakdown – Which segues into the most pronounced and alarming symptom that is on the increase through all age groups, but particularly the young –
- anxiety. Again, a summary from Tony Doherty as he comments on “Australia
Reimagined”. “Our country is experiencing a troubling epidemic of anxiety. Cultural change has been swift and unpredictable. Income inequality is growing. The stability of our harmonious society is threatened by the attacks on cultural diversity. The gender revolution is stalling. Individualism is rampant. We no longer trust our major corporate institutions, political leaders, or our churches. We are deeper in debt and increasingly addicted – whether to our digital device, drugs or to buying stuff.” The statistics are alarming:
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One-third of us are likely to be affected by mental illness at some time in our life.
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Over 65,000 Australians each year attempt to suicide.
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Two million of us suffer from an anxiety disorder in any one year.
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One million will be engaged in the silent battle against depression. Australia’s unprecedented run of economic growth has failed to deliver a more stable
- r harmonious society. Mackay asks how, despite all of the natural advantages we
enjoy (peace, affluence, stable parliamentary democracy, freedom of assembly, press, religion), we have reached this dramatic state of emotional breakdown.
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These factors of fragmentation – of trust, emotional health and mental health – together create a huge whammy effect that encompasses human isolation and changed landscape of community. When I was at the Men’s Shed meeting in March I asked, “what have you noticed has changed in how we live as communities in your lifetime, even in the past 20 years?” Some of the responses included:
- House sizes are increasing; households are shrinking.
- Fences are tall and at the front of houses; the front porch has been replaced by
the back deck.
- Increased busyness to a point where there is limited time for engagement with
neighbours – hurried people, hurried children.
- The increased communication technology has actually made people
disconnected and inward looking – screen people. I have certainly noticed the decrease in eye contact in conversation… “look at me, look at me”.
- The big gathering places are shopping centres – which are not social based
places.
- Children are not allowed to walk the streets, play unrestrictedly. There is a fear
culture that is reshaping again this issue of trust.
- The counter side of technology communication is of isolation, mainly of the
elderly, who haven’t adopted smart phones, internet and “the Facebook”.
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things, and we are concerned. However there is also a sense of powerlessness in what seems inevitable change and what has emerged is this awareness that loneliness, across age groups and socio economic groups, is a real, growing thing… here are some of the stats on loneliness, gleaned from Swinburne University in Melbourne and the Australian Psychological Society who are conducting the country’s first research project on the impact of loneliness on physical and mental health. These are preliminary findings from the end of 2018:
- More than one-fifth of Australians rarely or never feel they have someone to
talk to or turn to for help, and more than one quarter feel lonely for at least three days every week.
- When directly asked how lonely they felt, 50.5% of Australians reported they
felt lonely for at least a day in the previous week; 27.6% felt lonely for three or more days. Nearly 30% rarely or never felt they were part of a group of friends “One in four (25.5%) do not feel they have a lot in common with the people around them,”
- Here’s something interesting though - Married Australians and those aged
- ver 65 are the least lonely. No significant differences in loneliness was found
between men and women, though men reported being less social.
- “Australians over 65 years also report better physical and mental health, lower
levels of social interaction anxiety, fewer depression symptoms and greater social interaction than younger Australians,” the study found.
- In the value of friendship, people can have lots of friends – but if their needs
are not being met, then loneliness is common. Quality is better than quantity!
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This comment on quality versus quantity also emerged in a public conversation in June held in Melbourne. The Anglican Archbishop of Melbourne, Philip Freier, holds quarterly conversations in the public sphere with specialist guests – the June topic was the question …. “Loneliness: Australia’s next health crisis?” and his guests were Helen Page who heads up Aged Care at the Brotherhood of St Laurence; Professor Patrick McGorry Professor of Youth Mental Health at the University of Melbourne and co-founder of Head Space; and the conversation was moderated by John Cleary, former ABC broadcaster. I encourage you all to watch the conversation on Youtube, Anglican Media Melbourne. Professor McGorry identified three understandings of loneliness: intimate loneliness; relational loneliness and collective loneliness. But no matter what definitions, or understandings, it is agreed that loneliness is subjective to an individual (one’s person loneliness can be another’s ‘me time’); and thus is a perceived social isolation. The Onward The thing about perception is that it becomes reality, and it seems to me that the perception of loneliness is emerging well after the truth has become real. If that makes sense…. Today we are noticing, and paying attention, to social changes that we believe are detrimental to our life as humans in community. Iris Murdoch, British novelist and philosopher, claims that ‘paying attention is a moral act’. I would agree – as indeed most faiths and belief systems would adhere to also. “Love your neighbour” and “do to others as you would have do to yourself” are common frameworks for not only all faith traditions, but also of the innate decency that Hugh Mackay writes about as the commonality in being human.
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I believe (so my ‘I’ statement) is that we need to reclaim the sense of responsibility for each other as human beings together. Humans are community creatures and need to belong – and the belonging structures we have relied upon are fragmenting. How we reclaim that shared responsibility for each other will mean a different landscape – but at the heart of it is the same relational truth of human history. We need each other to be the best we can be, and for the common good of our neighbourhood, community and humanity. We need to care for each other, to ensure that compassion and shared support are characteristics of who we are. The health of a country is found in the life of its local communities. This includes an intentional responsibility of mutuality between government and local people, i.e., a new civic
- narrative. This includes, and this is my real passion, helping people be good
neighbours – and my experience is that people need leadership and role modelling for this re-education. I am hoping that once we are in forum, we can creatively think about what these initiatives could look like.
Like Hugh Mackay in his “Australia Reimagined”, I will conclude on
a hopeful, even excited note. Good things are happening in this area – I believe that that culture of a new civic narrative is
- happening. Our local government and state government
representatives, Kate and Christian, are very much focussed on connecting people and cultivating good community groups. The Men’s Shed movement is a prime example; the continuing exploration of what community hubs can look like is another. The latter includes how we create a culminated narrative of what we are doing – not only as an audit of resources, but to enhance the culture that this is an important descriptor of who we are – lots of groups with openings for everyone. I know there are people here today who are looking at the same issue in the suburbs they come from. In this faith community we are looking at a Village Green movement – purely and simply to create gathering places and spaces for people to be people together, around hospitality and conversation.
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In the way we now converse about the common good of our neighbourhoods, I believe we need to take up Hugh Mackay’s approach to attitude and behaviour. He reverses the popularly held opinion that attitudes can change behaviour. Change doesn’t work that way, he says. It is in the alteration of behaviour that our attitudes
- change. When we act in a compassionate manner, we become more
- compassionate. Show me what you do and I will tell you where your values lie. So,
when each of us is a good neighbour, we are showing others how to do it – and so shifting attitude and understanding as well. So that’s really the heart of this ongoing dialogue, isn’t it? At the beginning I said we need to be aware of our own reality and articulate it. Change comes from owning
- truth. That includes what we are noticing in our neighbourhoods, and especially
around social isolation/loneliness, and then to discuss what are good neighbourhoods, and how we live together for the common good – and even to articulate we believe in the common good! My sense is that everyone gathered here today does hold that belief. So now let’s
- pen up our minds and our hearts to talk about this together, interdependently –
because we need each other to make differences for the flourishing of our
- neighbourhoods. We believe in the goodness of community life, together. Let’s
enhance the common goodness, and let’s reverse fragmentation into collaboration - for noticing need, including human loneliness, and the fusion of neighbourliness and
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