Gods talk about Parenting? Design for Parents and Kids Why is - PDF document

What Qualifies a Camp Director to God’s talk about Parenting? Design for Parents and Kids Why is this so hard sometimes? What Qualifies a Camp Director to The Foundation for Biblical talk about Parenting? Parenting: Proverbs 24:3-4 I don’t feel qualified but.. ! ! “ By wisdom a house is built, and ✓ I married up! ! through understanding it is ✓ God’s grace over 34 yrs. ! established; through knowledge ✓ 1000’s of kids! ! its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures ” ✓ Gray Hair ! ✓ James 1:5 lots of times! God’s Design for Parents and Kids 
 Principle #1 Why is this so hard sometimes? Children are the by-produce of ! ! I. Grasping two totally depraved people. “ just as sin entered the world through one man, the Impact ! and death through sin, “ Children NEED strong parental guidance. In fact, the more they are and in this way death of Sin’s left to themselves, the less they will become what they ought to came to all men, be. That is because of their natural depravity. Children are born because all sinned” with a bent toward sin…this is one of the most formidable Curse on obstacles to the child’s obedience. It is also the greatest issue Romans 5:12 (NIV) parents need to deal with. In other words, parents, you cannot raise your children to be what they ought to be unless you help our Kids. them realize that their most fundamental needs are spiritual- unless you nurture them accordingly. ” John MacArthur “The Fulfilled Family”

Check out Principle #2 Ephesians 2:3 Your child’s greatest need is “All of us also lived regeneration. among them (disobedient) at “Children have a heart problem. They are constitutionally sinful. Like their parents, and like the rest of the Adamic race, they are one time, gratifying fallen. What they need most are regenerate hearts. This is the most fundamental issue in parenting. It’s not ultimately about the cravings of our behavior; it’s about the child’s heart. Behavior simply reflects sinful nature and what is in the heart (Mark 7:21-23). Parents have no power to renew a child’s heart. Only God can do that. But parents need to following its desires help their children understand that their hearts are desperately in need of regeneration, their real problem is sin, and all their and thoughts. greatest needs are spiritual. Parents need to direct their children to Christ. ” John MacArthur “The Fulfilled Family” Principle #3 Principle #4 Parenting is a privilege; don’t buy into the lie. “ For years parents have bought into a lie that the greatest influences in Children need their children’s lives are peers, media, and others outside the home. It’s just not true. There seems to be professionals everywhere; Parents who are professional teachers, professional nannies, professional counselors, and (even) professional church staff. With so many plates spinning Christ-centered, and parents’ weakened confidence that we are even qualified for parenting, we do what the culture applauds: we leave much of the Gospel-focused parenting to professionals. So what is left for parents to do? Handle their child’s basic needs and hope that everyone else is doing their job? How misguided. Research is showing us that this makes as much and Biblically sense as rearranging the deck furniture on the Titanic. Children are listening! Parents still have the greatest influence on their children.” sound. Steve Wright “ A Parent Privilege ” II. Grasping Three Keys for God’s Design for Parents and Kids 
 Biblical Parenting Why is this so hard sometimes? ! ! A. “don’t exasperate your children” II. Grasping “ Fathers, do not exasperate your “provoke to wrath” ➢ three keys for children; instead bring don’t unnecessarily, deliberately or ➢ them up in the training foolishly cause them to be frustrated or (nurture) and instruction Biblical angry because of your parenting style (admonition) of the doesn’t mean children are excused ➢ Lord.” Ephesians Parenting. every time they get angry 6:4 (NIV) it is the inconsistent things you do that ➢ discourage them Col. 3:21

II. Grasping Three Keys for II. Grasping Three Keys for Biblical Parenting Biblical Parenting B. “bring them up in the training of C. “bring them up in the admonition of the Lord” the Lord” “nouthesia” admonition “paideia” child training ➢ ➢ ➢ discipline and discipleship (to synonyms working together ➢ train in advance for the child’s sake) to train by teaching with words: (+ -) ➢ to train by action: to educate (+ -) ➢ nurture requires admonition ➢ nurture (tenderness) ➢ discipline by putting into the mind ➢ nourish “bring them up” Eph. 5:29 “feed” ➢ ➢ become a master at positive discipline God’s Design for Parents and Kids 
 Four Types of Parental Authority Why is this so hard sometimes? ! ! “For everything that was III. Grasping written in the past was written to teach us, so the Significance that through endurance and the of Biblical encouragement of the Scriptures we might Examples. have hope.” Romans 15:4 Principle #5 NEGLECTFUL THE NEGLECTFUL PARENT SAYS…. The Basic Assumption of All Biblical Parenting is to bring your Children under the Authority of God and into a “DO WHAT YOU right relationship with Jesus Christ. WANT, I DON’T CARE”

NEGLECTFUL NEGLECTFUL MODEL DESCRIPTION ✓ LOW IN LOVE ✓ KEY: SELFISH ✓ LOW IN ✓ Flees CONTROL Responsibility Proverbs 29:15 ✓ Slothful “a child left to himself ✓ Wrong Priorities disgraces his mother” NEGLECTFUL Biblical NEGLECTFUL Illustration STANDARD LOT Genesis 19 ✓ COMPROMISING ✓ ABSENT ✓ Why is he in a cave? ✓ Neglected God’s ✓ LACKS CONVICTION commands for His family ✓ LACKS PRIORITIES ✓ Disagreed with God ✓ Compromised Truth ✓ LACKS PURPOSE ✓ Didn’t Believe Message Result: 1. 2 daughters get pregnant 2. 2 Nations who hate God NEGLECTFUL PERMISSIVE COMMENTS ✓ produces THE PERMISSIVE insecure children PARENT SAYS…. ✓ failure without “I LOVE YOU planning to fail TOO MUCH TO EVER RESTRICT ✓ produces God YOUR DESIRES” neglectors

PERMISSIVE PERMISSIVE MODEL DESCRIPTION ✓ (appearance) KEY: COWARDICE ✓ Fears Responsibility HIGH IN LOVE ✓ fails to enforce ✓ LOW IN ✓ avoids restrictions CONTROL ✓ afraid won’t be liked Proverbs 29:25 ✓ permits wrong action by justifying that it’s “the fear of man will not that bad prove to be a snare” PERMISSIVE Biblical PERMISSIVE Illustration STANDARD ELI I SAMUEL 2:29ff ! ✓ honored sons over God ✓ CONVENIENCE ✓ insincere warnings ✓ BASED ON OUR OWN ✓ sons didn’t listen PERMISSIVE ✓ didn’t restrain them BEHAVIOR Result: ✓ LACK OF GOOD 1. Sons died as promised HABITS AND 2. “Ichabod” on Nation CONVICTIONS 3. Ark Captured PERMISSIVE AUTHORITARIAN COMMENTS THE ✓ Child knows how to AUTHORITARIAN “play” or manipulate to get what he/she PARENT SAYS…. wants “Do as I say, not ✓ Child runs the house as I do” ✓ Produces kids who don’t take God seriously

AUTHORITARIAN AUTHORITARIAN MODEL DESCRIPTION ✓ LOW IN LOVE KEY: DICTATORIAL ✓ unrealistic demands ✓ HIGH IN ✓ driven by power CONTROL ✓ inconsistent relationship with Christ Proverbs 28:16 ✓ forces; unfairness “a tyrannical ruler ✓ abuses authority and lacks judgment” blames others ✓ always on the attack AUTHORITATIAN AUTHORITARIAN STANDARD Biblical Illustration SAUL I Sam. 14:24 ✓ UNREALISTIC ✓ unrealistic demands ✓ OVERBEARING ✓ Exclusion of God’s ways ✓ threats can’t be kept ✓ IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE Result: DEMANDS 1. Children don’t follow lead AUTHORITARIAN AUTHORITATIVE COMMENTS ✓ attacks people, THE family and followers AUTHORITATIVE ✓ unreasonable PARENT SAYS…. dealings cause “Do as I do” children to love the opposite ✓ value system is rejected

AUTHORITATIVE AUTHORITATIVE MODEL DESCRIPTION ✓ HIGH IN LOVE KEY: CHRIST-LIKE ✓ teaches by consistent ✓ HIGH IN demonstration CONTROL ✓ strong faith in God and growing obedience Proverbs 29:2b ✓ decisions based on God’s standards “when the righteous ✓ faithful effort ✓ understands kids are a gift thrive, the people from God and accepts rejoice” responsibility for the gift AUTHORITATIVE AUTHORITATIVE Biblical Illustration STANDARD ABRAHAM GEN. 22 ✓ CONSISTENCY ✓ BASED ON ✓ Story of Isaac and the Altar KNOWLEDGE OF ✓ “fully persuaded that God had the power to do what He GOD’S WORD promised” ✓ DECISIONS IN ✓ feared God ADVANCE Result: ISAAC GOT ON THE ALTAR! ✓ SEEKS QUESTION: What if Abraham RIGHTEOUSNESS was…..? AUTHORITATIVE God’s Design for Parents and Kids 
 COMMENTS Why is this so hard sometimes? ✓ produces children who are ! ! secure “A man’s pride Conclusion: ✓ children put confidence in brings him low, parents and God but a man of Some helpful ✓ children can believe lowly spirit gains parents and see the reality of their faith in Christ Advice honor.” ✓ provides a breeding Proverbs 29:23 ground for spiritual growth