Course -4: Structuring Paragraphs http://inpluslab.com/paperwriting - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

科技论文的阅读与写作

Course -4: Structuring Paragraphs

http://inpluslab.com/paperwriting

主讲：黄华威

Associate Professor 数据科学与计算机学院 学院个人主页： http://sdcs.sysu.edu.cn/content/4989

Outline of Course-4: Structuring Paragraphs

1. First paragraph of a new section – begin with a mini summary plus an indication of the structure 2. First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point 3. Choose the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sentence that opens a new paragraph 4. Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP 5. Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information 6. Use a consistent numbering system 7. Break up long paragraphs 8. Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new

• sent. or new paragraph

9. Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• 10. Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

4.1 First paragraph of a new section – a mini summary

• Begin with a mini summary plus an indication

(指示) of the structure

– Readers do not necessarily read the paper from beginning to end. – Start some sections, e.g., Introduction, discussion, conclusions, with a one or two-sentence summary

• f the main aims/findings of the paper

– However, you have to check the general style of papers in the chosen journal

4.1 First paragraph of a new section – a mini summary (cont.)

• Example: Mini summaries at the beginning

– This section attempts to answer the question … – Our aim is to provide a simple alternative to the complex theoretical models that attempt to explain … In this section we present a simplified model, which we believe is… – This section reviews the process of … This process provides the backbone to the system that is at the core of our research.

4.1 First paragraph of a new section – a mini summary (cont.)

• Some authors also briefly outline what will be

contained in the rest of the section

• Examples:

– S1. In this section, we briefly review the broad perspectives that have shaped the direction of thinking about … – S2. In this section, the numerous advances in blockchain are described, with emphasis on the vast new area of distributed machine learning. – S3. In this section, we define our approach and how it can be used to the machine-fault detection. The next section will discuss the design details of our approach.

4.1 First paragraph of a new section – a mini summary (cont.)

• Example of mini-summary:

Outline of Course-4: Structuring Paragraphs

1. First paragraph of a new section – begin with a mini summary plus an indication of the structure 2. First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point 3. Choose the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sentence that opens a new paragraph 4. Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP 5. Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information 6. Use a consistent numbering system 7. Break up long paragraphs 8. Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new

• sent. or new paragraph

9. Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• 10. Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

4.2 First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point

• In shorter papers, readers often don’t have the time or the

inclination (爱好) to read the mini summaries.

• You need a more direct approach.
• Being direct does not require telling readers what you did, but

telling them what it means.

– S1. An analysis of the number of words used in English w.r.t Italian, showed that the average sentence in English was 25 words long, whereas in Italian it was 32 words long (See Table 1). This indicates that when an Italian document is translated into English, there is …

• A much more direct approach is to say:

– S2. Italian tends to use more words per sentence than English, so when an Italian document translated into English, there is… – Begins with the main information, and provides implications. – Not what you did (appropriate in Methods) but just what you found.

Outline of Course-4: Structuring Paragraphs

1. First paragraph of a new section – begin with a mini summary plus an indication of the structure 2. First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point 3. Choose the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sentence that opens a new paragraph 4. Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP 5. Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information 6. Use a consistent numbering system 7. Break up long paragraphs 8. Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new

• sent. or new paragraph

9. Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• 10. Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

4.3 Use the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sent. that opens a new paragraph

• Clear English requires: put the subject -> 句首
• Don’t waste the reader’s attention when they begin reading

a sentence.

• Best solution is to shift ``no value added” phrases to later on

in the sentence, and try to reduce them to one word.

• Otherwise, they skim, i.e. to read very fast.
• See 4 examples, and compare them:

– S1. Particularly interesting for researchers in physics is the new feature, named X, for calculating velocity. – S2. Physics now has a new feature, named X, for calculating velocity. – S3. Velocity can now be calculated with a new feature, named X, which is particularly interesting for physicists. – S4. X is a new feature for calculating velocity. It is particularly interesting for physicists.

Outline of Course-4: Structuring Paragraphs

1. First paragraph of a new section – begin with a mini summary plus an indication of the structure 2. First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point 3. Choose the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sentence that opens a new paragraph 4. Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP 5. Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information 6. Use a consistent numbering system 7. Break up long paragraphs 8. Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new

• sent. or new paragraph

9. Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• 10. Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

4.4 Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP

• Compare these two texts:

– S1. Smart devices may have to manage sensitive information that, often, must be protected against unauthorized diffusion or from malicious attacks. Some notable examples of sensitive information are data concerning the health conditions of a patient or data gathered from caregivers about the status of an elderly person. – S2. Smart devices may have to manage sensitive

information, for example the health conditions of a patient or data gathered from caregivers on the status of an elderly person. Clearly, such data must be protected against unauthorized diffusion or from malicious attacks.

4.4 Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP (cont.)

• What do you think?

– In S1, readers have to wait to understand exactly what sensitive information is and why it has to be protected. – S2 tells readers immediately what it is, and therefore enables readers to understand why it should be

• protected. S2 uses fewer words.
• Points

– I am NOT suggesting that you should always use S2 rather than S1. – Just be aware that the same information can be presented in a different order. – Your aim is to choose the most effective order.

Outline of Course-4: Structuring Paragraphs

1. First paragraph of a new section – begin with a mini summary plus an indication of the structure 2. First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point 3. Choose the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sentence that opens a new paragraph 4. Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP 5. Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information 6. Use a consistent numbering system 7. Break up long paragraphs 8. Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new

• sent. or new paragraph

9. Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• 10. Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

4.5 Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information

• Example

– S1: Considering that the rapid increase in the volume of data

generated from connected devices in Industrial Internet of Things (IIoT), opens up new possibilities for enhancing the quality of service for the emerging applications through data sharing, and, security and privacy concerns (e.g, data leakage) are major obstacles for data providers to share their data in wireless networks because the leakage

• f private data can lead to serious issues beyond financial loss for the

providers, we thus propose a blockchain-empowered secure data- sharing architecture for distributed multiple parties in this article.

– S2: The rapid increase in the volume of data generated from connected devices in Industrial Internet of Things (IIoT), opens up new possibilities for enhancing the quality of service for the emerging applications through data sharing. – However, security and privacy concerns (e.g, data leakage) are major obstacles for data providers to share their data in wireless networks. – The leakage of private data can lead to serious issues beyond financial loss for the providers. – In this article, we thus propose a blockchain-empowered secure data sharing architecture for distributed multiple parties.

Question: Why everybody wants to learn AI?

• Probably you don’t know others
• Actually, we have l lot of other interesting research topics

– Computer Networking

• Software-Defined Networking, Self-Driving Networks
• 5G/6G communications
• Blockchain systems
• Edge computing

– Robotics – CPU + OS + Compiler (Tsing Hua student’s level)

• 大一新生的福利：学院将开设“冯诺依曼班”
• 院长要求所有本科新生从大一开始进导师研究室做研究

Outline of Course-4: Structuring Paragraphs

1. First paragraph of a new section – begin with a mini summary plus an indication of the structure 2. First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point 3. Choose the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sentence that opens a new paragraph 4. Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP 5. Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information 6. Use a consistent numbering system 7. Break up long paragraphs 8. Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new

• sent. or new paragraph

9. Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• 10. Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

4.6 Use a consistent numbering system to list phases, states, parts etc. (et cetera)

• When you need to describe various stages in a procedure,

methodology, project etc.,

• use a numbering system, e.g., first(ly), second(ly), third(ly), finally
• Continue your numbering system in the same way that you started it

Original Version (OV)

Our methodology can be divided into three main parts: first of all the characterization of demographic (人口结构的) changes between 2000 and 2010, in order to obtain a scenario for the future with regarding to population shifts. The results from this first part were used as inputs to obtain maps for 2010 to 2015. The resulting maps and input maps regarding climatic and political characteristics were inserted into our model in order to predict future patterns.

4.6 Use a consistent numbering system to list phases, states, parts etc. (cont.)

• When you need to describe various stages in a procedure,

methodology, project etc.,

• use a numbering system, e.g., first(ly), second(ly), third(ly), finally
• Continue your numbering system in the same way that you started it

Revised Version (RV)

Our methodology can be divided into three main stages. Firstly, we characterized demographic (人口结构的) changes between 2000 and 2010, in order to obtain a scenario for the future with regarding to population shifts. Secondly, we used the results from the first part as inputs to obtain maps for 2010 to 2015. Finally, the resulting maps and input maps regarding climatic and political characteristics were inserted into our model in order to predict future patterns.

Outline of Course-4: Structuring Paragraphs

1. First paragraph of a new section – begin with a mini summary plus an indication of the structure 2. First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point 3. Choose the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sentence that opens a new paragraph 4. Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP 5. Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information 6. Use a consistent numbering system 7. Break up long paragraphs 8. Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new

• sent. or new paragraph

9. Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• 10. Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

一个反例： 太长的段落

4.7 Break up long paragraphs

• Comparison: a long paragraph

4.7 Break up long paragraphs (cont.)

• Comparison after revision

Outline of Course-4: Structuring Paragraphs

1. First paragraph of a new section – begin with a mini summary plus an indication of the structure 2. First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point 3. Choose the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sentence that opens a new paragraph 4. Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP 5. Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information 6. Use a consistent numbering system 7. Break up long paragraphs 8. Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new sentence or new paragraph 9. Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• 10. Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

4.8 Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new sentence or new paragraph

Typical phrases

• In order to do this / To this

end / With this in mind

• Then / Following this /

Afterwards

• For example, / An example
• f this is / In fact, / Unlike /

Nevertheless,

• In addition / Another way to

do / An additional feature of

• On the other hand /

However/ In contrast Function

• To state the purpose of

something.

• To indicate a temporal

relationship.

• To give an example or

supporting/negating evidence.

• To add additional points.
• To qualify what you have just

said: i.e., to indicate an exception or the two sides of an argument

4.8 Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new sent. or new paragraph (cont.)

Typical phrases

• Due to / Since / Although
• Thus / Therefore /

Consequently / Because of this

• This means that / This

highlights that / These considerations imply that / In conclusion / In sum

• Firstly, secondly, finally

Function

• To give reasons for something.
• To indicate a consequence.
• To announce and give a mini

conclusion about what you have said in the previous sentences.

• To introduce elements in a list.

4.8 Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new sent. or new paragraph (cont.)

Typical phrases

• Figure 1 shows / As can be

seen in Table 2

• As far as X is concerned, / In

relation to X / In the case of / With regard to / With respect to (w.r.t) / As noted earlier

• It is worth noting that /

Interestingly

Function

• To talk about figures, tables etc.
• To introduce a new element; to

recall something mentioned earlier.

• To add some additional

information or make some comment, not necessarily directly about something you have mentioned before but as an aside (aside: 旁白).

4.8 Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new sent. or new paragraph (cont.)

Ø Where you begin a new paragraph also depends on which section you are writing.

• In the review of the literature, begin a new paragraph

when

– (1) you begin to talk about a different phase in the logical build- up of research in your field, – (2) you start talking about another author.

• In the section of Methods,

– It may help readers to identify the various components or understand the various steps, – if these components or steps are in separate paragraphs.

Outline of Course-4: Structuring Paragraphs

1. First paragraph of a new section – begin with a mini summary plus an indication of the structure 2. First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point 3. Choose the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sentence that opens a new paragraph 4. Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP 5. Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information 6. Use a consistent numbering system 7. Break up long paragraphs 8. Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new

• sent. or new paragraph

9. Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• 10. Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

4.9 Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• Begin a new paragraph:

– Whenever you want to highlight the importance

• f your study or findings.

– If you have phrases such as

• This study shows that …
• Our findings highlight …
• These results indicate that …
• Otherwise, you will loss a good opportunity to

get the reader to focus on your findings.

Outline of Course-4: Structuring Paragraphs

1. First paragraph of a new section – begin with a mini summary plus an indication of the structure 2. First paragraph of a new section – go directly to the point 3. Choose the most relevant subject to put it at the beginning of a sentence that opens a new paragraph 4. Try to be as concrete as possible ASAP 5. Don’t force readers to hold a lot of preliminary information in their head before giving them the main information 6. Use a consistent numbering system 7. Break up long paragraphs 8. Typical markers that indicate where you could begin a new

• sent. or new paragraph

9. Begin a new paragraph when you begin to talk about your study and your key findings

• 10. Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

4.10 Concluding a paragraph: avoid redundancy

• If your writing is clear,

– there is no need to write a summary sentence between two paragraphs.

• Some authors end a section by talking about the

coverage of the next section

– Such information is often redundant,具体看一个例子 – Particularly if it is repeated again at the beginning of the next section – Introduction 的最后一段是例外，具体看一个例子

Thank you for your attending!

• This is today’s course.
• The other sharing with you in the following

pages

– The research directions in my research group – Welcome to Join Us!

可信下一代网络小组 Trusted Next-Generation Networks

研究方向：可信的 “自驱动”网络(Trusted Self-Driving Networks)

研究目标 基于区块链技术，软件定义技术、边缘智能 等技术建立一个无需人类管理员干涉、可以实 时高效获取全局网络状态、“全局状态一致性” 得到保护、可信的 “自驱动网络” 的运行机制。

可信下一代网络小组

研究方向：

基于区块链平台的“多方数据”可信任保证机制的研究

智能合约的作用与位置

研究目标

基于区块链平台，为 “多方 （multiple-party）”分布式数 据共享平台的可信性的保证。 重点解决大规模网络环境下提 高数据在区块链平台上的实时 同步、校验等操作的效率。

罗校长：金课要打造 引进更多的青年才俊，提升学校竞争力！

可信下一代网络小组

研究方向二： 智能边缘计算 (Intelligent Edge Computing)

研究目标 运用人工智能算法、机器学习算法、数学优化算法解决边 缘计算、5G/6G通信网络的各种应用场景中的重要问题。

数据收集计划

• Build 区块链框架 on “多接入网络”
• 基于收集的 user-trace 研究智能服务

部署的问题

A Request （ お願いします ）

• Help us collect user-trace data

– GPS data – What top N Apps you are using

• Don’t worry about the privacy / security

– We will remove all your sensitive information

Scan to download the APP

A Request （ お願いします ）

• Download the manual document from the

Homepage of our class:

– http://inpluslab.com/paperwriting