Conflict Resolution with Power and Privilege in Mind August 31st - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Conflict Resolution with Power and Privilege in Mind August 31st & September 2nd, 2020

Kad Smith, Liz Derias-Tyehimba, and Learkana Chong

Our Team / About CompassPoint

Mute/Unmute and audio settings Camera On/Off Virtual background settings also found here Full screen, or minimize Zoom screen Gallery View Option (recommended) Reactions Chat Box Name/Pronouns

TECH CHECK

• Chat a quick hello to test your chat inbox
• Invitation to keep cameras on (be in choice <3)
• Training worksheets are provided on a Google doc:

SAVE a copy now so you can take notes, and make it your own

• Muted by default, we will invite folks to un-mute
• Need anything? Please use the chat box

Hello!

• Your name
• Pronouns you use / respond to
• What’s 1 word that comes to mind when

you think of “conflict”?

Workshop Objectives

• 1. Participants shift behavior and attitudes rooted in

values of dominant systems towards better habits.

• 2. Participants will identify at least one new way that

they will approach future conflicts.

• 3. Participants will be able to identify their own

positional power and social privilege in at least one new way.

• 4. Participants can identify and employ one

communication competency (e.g. listening, inquiry, and empathy).

Agenda Overview

DAY 1

• Opening + The Whys of Conflict
• Who Am I? (in relationship to

conflict)

• Who Am I? (in relationship to

privilege and power)

• Communicating Across

Differences – External Behavior and Internal Process

DAY 2

• Skill Building and

Application

○

Focused Listening

○

Curiosity & Questions

○

Making Observations

○

Self-Empathy & Empathy

• Next Steps and Action

Planning

• Both/and thinking
• We all fumble; just remember your intent can be

different from your impact

• Create space, accept space
• Observe confidentiality
• Bring your heart as well as your mind

Community Intentions

Mingle Question

Why is staying aware of privilege important when addressing conflicts?

Why is staying aware of positional power important during a conflict?

Mingle Question

So…

• What are some reasons we

experience conflict at work?

• Why are power and privilege

relevant and important to conflict resolution?

STRETCH BREAK!

Conflict Styles

Conflict Style Definition Fundamental Premise Dimensions*

Avoid

To sidestep or ignore the problem, issue, or person This isn't the right time or place to address this issue. Assertive and Uncooperative

Accommodate

To yield your own position in favor of the other party’s need in a conflict Working toward a common purpose is more important than any of the peripheral concerns; the trauma of confronting differences may damage fragile relationships. Unassertive and Cooperative

Compete

The inverse of accommodation, where you fight your corner and insist

• n ‘winning’ the conflict.

Associates "winning" a conflict with competition. Assertive and Uncooperative

Compromise

Both sides yield or give up part of their position in

• rder to resolve the issue.

Winning something while losing a little is OK. Intermediate of both

Collaborate

Working together to satisfy both parties; distinct from compromise in that neither side has to give anything up. Teamwork and cooperation help everyone achieve their goals while also maintaining relationships. Assertive and Cooperative

Before Breakout Groups

• Access the Google doc in chat so you

can see & take notes from your group

• You can also view the styles chart and

the group questions in your own materials (on page 7 of Google manual shared with you)

BREAK!

Email us! With your questions, reflections, success stories… Kad Smith - KadS@compasspoint.org Liz Derias-Tyehimba - LizDT@compasspoint.org Learkana Chong - LearkanaC@compasspoint.org

THANK YOU! SEE YOU WEDNESDAY!

Conflict Resolution with Power and Privilege in Mind - September 2nd, 2020

Kad Smith, Liz Derias-Tyehimba, and Learkana Chong

• Both/And thinking
• We all fumble; just remember your intent can be

different from your impact

• Bring your heart as well as your mind
• Create Space, Accept Space
• Observe confidentiality

Community Intentions

Welcome Back!

What we did Monday

• Why it’s important to be

aware of positional power and social privilege in conflicts

• We have different ways of

working with conflict and can learn new “styles”

• Hearing other perspectives

What we will do today

• Create your own

principles - how you want to be when in conflict

• Practice listening,

inquiry and empathy in thinking through your live conflict

• 1. “I know what I know. I know what I

don’t know. I don’t know what I don’t

• know. I know that what I once knew

was wrong.”

• 2. Feedback is usually not an

indictment or an appraisal of one’s character.

• 3. Checking my “come-from” place.

Kad’s Principles for Navigating Conflict Liz’s Principles for Navigating Conflict

Some Personal Principles...

• 1. Don’t take it personally.
• 2. Ask questions.
• 3. Take accountability.

Speed Dating

After each question, you will have 5 minutes together to share your responses to the question (2.5 min/person). We will send a message to your breakout room letting you know the midpoint and when to return to the main room for the next question.

What’s one of the silliest reasons you’ve been in conflict?

What’s your “conflict resolution gift” and how does it work?

How has positional power influenced a conflict you’ve had in the past?

(Either the positional power you have held or the person you were in conflict with has held)

What’s one source of inspiration that has helped you to resolve a conflict?

(Examples: a mentor, a spiritual practice, something you tell yourself in a conflict)

Write this down…

What’s 1 thing you’ll tell yourself when a new conflict arises?

(how you want to be in the conflict)

STRETCH BREAK

Superficial listening

I’m listening to you, but I’m distracted with my own thoughts. I don’t hear you. In this situation, it’s really all about me.

Self-referential listening

I’m listening to you, but I will nudge the

• conversation. So now it becomes all about

me.

Fix-it listening

I’m listening to you but I want to fix your issue by myself. In this situation, it’s still really all about me, in relation to you.

Focused listening

I’m listening to you with full attention. I want to understand who you are and what this experience is like for you. In this situation, it’s all about you.

“Focused listening”

• focused on the person speaking
• clear of distraction
• avoid problem-solving or ‘fixing’
• if you relate, hold back your story

Listening Skills

In pairs, take turns listening fully to the other person’s conflict example, using focused listening. Notice if you become drawn towards other listening modes, and come back to focus on the person.

Practice Focused Listening

As you told your side of the story, what were you curious about?

INQUIRY

What could you ask the person you are in conflict with to help open up their thinking?

Refer to page 15 on your copy of the workshop Google doc.

What could you ask yourself to expand your understanding of the conflict and challenge your assumptions?

Try Out Questions

Refer back to your active conflict or communication breakdown. – In your pair, share 1-2 questions you are asking yourself and what you are thinking now about the conflict – Listen to the other person and ask them a question as their listening buddy

STRETCH BREAK!

Empathy and Self-Empathy

5.

Person B takes their turn in the same exercise.

1.

Pair Up & Take Turns as “A” & “B”

2.

Person B interviews A about the concern.

3.

Person A moves to another chair, takes on role of the person in conflict with A.

4.

Person A moves back to their chair, and back to their perspective.

Re-engaging with Someone

• 1. Name the problem in 1 sentence.
• 2. Name my role in the situation so far.
• 3. Name what’s at stake – what are the

consequences if we don’t address this issue?

• 4. Name the next steps that I recommend.
• 5. Invite my partner to respond.

Practice it out loud to hear how it sounds!

Email us! With your questions, reflections, success stories… Kad Smith - KadS@compasspoint.org Liz Derias-Tyehimba - LizDT@compasspoint.org Learkana Chong - LearkanaC@compasspoint.org

THANK YOU!!!!

EVALUATION!

(WE REALLY DO READ THEM :)