W HAT IS CONFLICT ? 3 C ONFLICT S TYLES Accommodate Avoid Compete - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
C OMMUNICATING ON D IFFICULT TOPICS AND WITH D IFFICULT PEOPLE Presenter: 1 Kay-Megan Washington Maryland Agricultural Conflict Resolution Service (ACReS) R OADMAP FOR T ODAY S P RESENTATION What is conflict? Communication skills Tips to
Presenter: Kay-Megan Washington
Maryland Agricultural Conflict Resolution Service (ACReS)
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What is conflict? Communication skills Tips to make discussions easier
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Accommodate Avoid Compete Compromise Collaborate Determining the appropriate method to apply in
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CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLES
more on the importance of the relationship
identify with?
which style does the person you’re dealing with seem to identify with?
Importance
Relation- ship HIGH LOW
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< LOW ---------------- Importance of Outcome
Accommodate I lose, you win Collaborate I win, you win Avoid I lose, you lose Compete I win, you lose Compromise We both win, we both lose
6 Differences over:
Money
Information
Interests/Goals
Relationships
Values
Cultural Norms
Personality types
There are a lot of sources of conflict, but most boil down to lack of knowledge and poor communication.
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15 Essential People Skills:
Which ones have you mastered?
1.
Genuine
2.
Patient
3.
Empathetic
4.
Polite
5.
Respectful
6.
Trustworthy
7.
Good listener
8.
Flexible
9.
Positive
10.
Open-minded
11.
Articulate
12.
Honest
13.
Self-Aware
14.
Good-humored
15.
Other-focused
Which ones are you
skilled at?
Which ones do you
struggle with?
Which ones are
missing?
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What do I want? What do they want? (If I
don’t know, how can I find out?)
What will get me what I
want?
What’s my HOOK? What are the likely
what I want? Of my getting what I want?
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How often do messages
When people are really
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What are some reasons
Think of someone who
What are things this
person did well?
What were skills you
valued in this person?
Behavior + Words = Interpretation 55% Facial expression, gestures, posture 38% Tone of voice, inflection 7% Words
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Acknowledge feelings Repeat
statements/clarify
Ask exploratory
questions/ open-ended questions
Identify what the
person wants
Respond with empathy
when appropriate
Clarify with more
neutral, less confrontational language
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Defensiveness Bias from your own
Ordering Judging Threatening Diagnosing
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Words we associate
How we can look at
Styles we use to deal
Sources of conflict Cycle of conflict Non-verbal
Active listening Recognizing blocks to
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Set up/schedule a time to talk. Ask yourself the questions from the last section (What do you
want? What do you think they want?)
Introduce the subject straightforwardly (e.g., “Your dad and I
have been thinking about what we’d like to have happen to the farm after we’re gone, and we’d like to hear your ideas.”)
Identify the other person’s feelings and values around what you
want to talk about. (Feelings = anger, happiness, fear; Values= independence, reliability, tradition, flexibility)
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This type of listening
involves two key steps:
(1) working to understand a
speaker's idea, then
(2) offering the idea back to
the speaker, to confirm the idea has been understood correctly.
Check in. For example, “I think
you’re saying that you’re sad to think Dad and I won’t always be here, and being someone we can count on is really important to you. Is that right?”
These generally require more than a yes or no
Open invitation for someone to begin expressing his
Here, we are trying to open the conversation Think of the difference between “You think I’m
crazy, don’t you?” and “I can’t read your face. What do you think about what I just said?”
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What is conflict? Communication skills Tips on how to make communication easier
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Not all conflict is bad! Messages can change. Listening takes work. Communicating clearly
helps in all areas of your life and helps get you what you want.
Figuring out what your
conflict management style can help.
Practice, practice,
practice!
ABOUT DIFFICULT TOPICS RELATED TO YOUR FARM?
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