SUPPORTING GRIEVING STUDENTS IN THE SCHOOL COMMUNITY Lauren W. S - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

SUPPORTING GRIEVING STUDENTS IN THE SCHOOL COMMUNITY

Lauren W. S Schn hneid ider, , LCSW

Clinical Director of Children’s Programs

OUR R HOUSE SE Grief f Suppor

• rt

t Center 1663 Sawtelle elle Blvd., d., #300 Los Angeles, es, CA 90025 (310) ) 473-1511 www.ou .ourhouse house-gr grie ief.or f.org/ laure ren@our n@ourho house use-gr grief ef.or .org

4 GOALS WHEN SUPPORTING GRIEVING CHILDREN

• Correspond to JW Worden, PhD’s Task Model for

understan standi ding ng grief. ef.

• Grief

ef Counseling nseling & G Grie ief f Therap rapy y (2009)

• Children

ldren & Grief ef (1996 96)

1. 1.To

• Ac

Accep ept t the e Realit ity y of the e Los

• ss
• 2. To Process

cess the e Pai Pain of the e Grief ef

• 3. To Adjust

t to a World ld Witho hout t the e Deceased eased

• 4. To Find

d an Endu during ring Connecti ction

• n with

h the e Decea cease sed d in the e Midst t of

• f

Embar arking ing on a New w Life

1. To assist them with accepting and understanding that their loved

• ne has died

2. To support them while they experience the thoughts and feelings associated with grief 3. To help them adjust to their new normal and 4. get their needs met in a world without their loved one 5. To provide guidance as the child finds ways to honor their loved

• ne’s memory and to maintain

the positive connection with the deceased

WORDEN’S TASK MODEL & OUR GOALS

GOAL L #1: : TO ASSIST ST THE HEM M WITH H ACCEPTIN EPTING G AND ND UND NDERST RSTAN ANDI DING NG THE HE REALIT LITY Y THA HAT T THE HEIR R LOVED D ONE NE HA HAS DIED

1. 1. Child’s ability to achieve goal dependent on thre ree e factor

• rs

2. 2. What can you do before re the child d returns eturns to school?

• l?

3. 3. Bott ttom

• m line:

e: Emp mpower er the child ld so he can talk k about ut what happen ened ed

TODDL DLERS ERS (U (UNTIL NTIL AGE GE 4 4 OR 5)

1.

• 1. Magical

cal Think nker ers s

• 2. Eg

Ego-cent centri ric

• 3. Cogn
• gniti

tively ely un unable le to un under derst stand nd deat ath h relat ated ed conce cepts ts:

• a. Irreversibility
• b. Unpredictable
• c. Universality
• d. Causality
• e. Non-functionality

SCHOOL AGED ( 6-10 YEARS)

1.

• 1. Conc

ncre rete e think nker ers s (P (Pia iage get) t)

• 2. Un

Under dersta stand nd perma rmane nenc nce e

• 3. Lack

k language guage to expres press s grief ief verba ball lly

• 4. “Short sadness span” (Nancy Boyd Webb)

PRE-ADOLESCENTS AND TEENS 1.

• 1. Lack

ck co cogni gnitiv tive e and emoti

• tion
• nal

l maturity ty to process cess grief ef li like e adults lts 2.

• 2. Magica

cal l think nkers 3.

• 3. Eg

Ego-centric centric

TEENS (CONT’)

• 1. Identity vs. Role Confusion (Erickson)
• 2. Separation-Individuation process

impacted

HE HELP LPING NG CHI HILD LD WITH H FI FIRST T GOAL

1.

• 1. Primary

y Inter ervent ntion ion is use e of la langua uage ge 2.

• 2. Avoi
• id

d Eu Euphem phemisms isms or pla latitudes tudes “Death is when a person’s body stops working king and they y no lo longer ger breathe he, , think nk or feel l anythi ything ng and we will ll never er see them alive again”

CAUSES OF DEATH AT CAMP ERIN, AUGUST 2014 83 3 Grieving ving Children: ildren:

• Illness: 66%
• Homicide: 12%
• Suicide: 8%
• Overdose: 3%

DEFINITION OF SUICIDE

Suici cide de is wh s when en so someone meone en ends ds thei heir r own n li life. e.

EXPLAINING SUICIDE TO CHILDREN

1. Define Suicide in simple terms 2. Give honest, age appropriate information about what actually caused the death 3. Answer questions honestly or by saying “I wish I could answer that question”. 4. Ask children to identify who they would go to for help if they ever felt so depressed they wanted to die

DEFINITION OF HOMICIDE “Homicide is when someone ends someone else's life”

SUBSTANCE RELATED DEATHS 1.Complications of Alcoholism 2.Liver Failure 3.Took too much medicine 4.Overdose

GOAL #1 ACTIVITIES

1.

• 1. Read

d Books: ks: When Dinosaurs Die; Brave Bart; My Memory Book for Grieving Children 2.

• 2. Help them construct

truct their ir narrativ ive:

• a. Write or Draw about the day of death
• b. Write or Draw about the day of the funeral or

memorial service

• c. Draw where your person is now?
• d. The 5 Senses –see, hear, taste, smell, touch

WHA HAT T HA HAPPEN ENED ED TO YOUR UR PER ERSON? SON?

Wh Wher ere e is s you

• ur pe

person son now? w?

WHERE IS YOUR PERSON NOW?

DRAW THE HE DAY OF F THE HE FU FUNE NERAL RAL

DRAW WHA HAT HA HAPPENED PENED ON T N THE HE DAY OF F THE HE DEATH TH

GOAL L #2: : TO SUPPORT THE CHILDREN WHILE THEY EXPERIENCE THE FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS ASSOCIATED WITH GRIEF I T Typic ical l Grie ief Reacti tion

• ns
• A. SADNESS
• B. ANGER
• C. FEAR
• D. RELIEF OR HAPPINESS
• E. GUILT

GOAL #2 ACTIVITIES

• 1. Activit

tivities es de designed ned to

• hel

elp them em expres ress s their eir fee eeli lings gs an and d quan anti tify fy them. em.

• a. Feelings Pie
• b. Feelings Ball
• c. Angry Bags
• d. Feelings Jenga
• e. Feelings Charades

FEELINGS SOUP

26

Intrusive images of the scene or traumatic event itself A survivor may avoid reminders of the event May have difficulty talking about the event at times May exhibit signs of Natural grief at other times Intrusive thoughts or images about the person who died Experiencing the presence May actively search out places and things that remind them of the deceased Comforting to share memories about the person who died

TRAUMA UMATIC TIC GR GRIEF IEF VS VS. . NATURA TURAL L GR GRIEF IEF

CHI HILD LDHO HOOD OD TRAUMA UMATIC TIC GRIEF

• Both
• th Natura

ral l Grief f and PTSD are present sent

• Trauma symptoms interfere with the child’s ability to go through

the e tasks s of mournin urning

• Have to treat

at the e trauma ma sympt ptom

• ms

s first

• Use TF-CBT

BT or ot

• the

her r eviden idence ce-base based d practices tices

• Teach

ch Coping ing Strat ategies egies to use se when hen child d experience eriences trauma ma reacti ction

• ns

GOAL #3: TO HELP THEM ADJUST TO THEIR NEW NORMAL AND HELP THEM GET THEIR NEEDS MET IN A WORLD WITHOUT THEIR LOVED ONE.

• A. Teach coping strategies
• B. Prepare child for special days
• C. Assist with secondary losses as needed

COPING PING STRA RATE TEGIES: GIES:

• 1. Breathing Techniques
• 2. Visualization
• 3. Releases emotions through movement
• 4. Comforting self with music, journaling, pets,

etc.

WHA HAT ARE YOU THA HANK NKFUL FUL FOR?

GOAL #4: TO PROVIDE GUIDANCE AS THE CHILD FINDS WAYS TO HONOR THEIR LOVED ONE’S MEMORY AND TO MAINTAIN THE POSITIVE CONNECTION WITH THE DECEASED

• 1. Engage in on-going rituals
• 2. Become more future oriented over time
• 3. Good News: Kids are resilient

33

GO GOAL #4 4 ACTIVI IVITIES TIES

REMEMBERING DOESN’T HAVE TO HURT!

BEST T PREDICT ICTORS ORS OF POSITIV SITIVE OUTCO COME ME

1. How well the surviving parent or other family members adjust to life without the deceased

• 2. Consistent limit setting
• 3. Presence of similarly bereaved peers

NO SUCH THING AS “CLOSURE”!