Parent Strategies L A U R A K A S T N E R , P H . D . C L I N I C - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

L A U R A K A S T N E R , P H . D . C L I N I C A L P R O F E S S O R P S Y C H I A T R Y & B E H A V I O R A L S C I E N C E S D E P A R T M E N T O F P S Y C H O L O G Y U N I V E R S I T Y O F W A S H I N G T O N

Drug Forum Parent Strategies

Myths about Parenting Teens

 Teens have more psychological problems than other

times in their lives

 Teens care more about their peer relationships than

their parents during adolescence

 Parents should hide their own histories of substance

use from their teens

 Parents should let their teens choose whether they

participate in extracurricular activities

 Teens benefit from authoritarian parenting

Risk Protective

 Mental health problems

(e.g. ADHD, depression, anxiety)

 School problems  History of alcohol and drug

addiction in family

 History of difficulty in

parent-child bond

 Conduct problems in

school and legal system

 Substance experimentation

< 6th g  Secure attachment with

parents

 Adaptable/resilient

temperament

 Intellectual strengths  Self-regulation  Social skills  Bonded to school

Risk and Protective Factors- Individual

Risk Protective

 Poverty  Racism, lack of

• pportunities/resources

 Lack of prosocial role

models/social support

 Dangerous

neighborhood

 Peer risk-taking  Bonds to prosocial

groups

 Ties to extended family  Involved with

afterschool activities

 Bonds with adult

figures

Risk and Protective Factors - Environmental

Risk Protective

 Poor supervision  Permissive, disengaged or

authoritarian parenting style

 High conflict  Difficulties in marital

functioning or single parenthood

 Poor communication skills  Parental tolerance for deviance  Monitoring (Big 5)  Authoritative parenting style

(warmth, + discipline + respect for teen’s thoughts & feelings)

 Good conflict resolution skills  Good parental self-regulation  Parents – calm, collaborative

and confident

 Good parent-child boundaries

Risks and Protective Factors - Family

Research shows that positive parenting results in “best outcomes” (achievement, relationships, psychological health, physical health)

Incredible Years, Raising Healthy Families, Triple P

Kastner & Russell, Wise-Minded Parenting

W

Authority

Aps

Psychological Autonomy Authoritative Parenting Warmth

Permissive Authoritarian Neglectful/Indulgent Baumr umrind ind, , Stein inberg berg

Best Outcomes!

(respect for thoughts and feelings)

Secure Attachment

Self-Control Social Thriving Academic Success Emotional Flourishing Strong Character Physical Health

7 Essentials for Raising Successful Teens

Secure attachment during teen years

 Does your teen feel like you accept her exactly the

way she is?

 Would your teen say that you respect his feelings?  Does your teen want your opinion and trust that you

respect hers?

 Do you persevere and tolerate your teen’s

argumentative and irritable moods to show affection and love?

 Do you stay involved and show concern despite your

teen’s “go away” messages?

 Do you find ways to have fun and enjoy time

together?

Authority – Rules, Consequences, Boundaries, Structure, Consistency, Credibility

 Rules – Non-negotiable

• health/safety
• values very important to the family

 Rules – Flexible (not above)

• changes “in the interest of the teen”
• made through careful analysis and parental unity
• not flexed due to caving, winning popularity, fear

Monitoring

Big Five W Questions (until college launch) Cooperation sets you free

1.

Where?

2.

When (home)?

3.

What (plan)?

• 4. Who?

5.

Will you swear to call if plan changes? (no last minute asks for curfew change, consequence for not answering phone, spot checks will occur)

Typical adolescence

Great Expectations (and communication)

Articulate your expectations and listen to their views

• abstinence = perfect safety and legality
• insurance policy = educate and discuss
• focus on safety first
• emphasize “slowing down” for decision-making
• use “science-speak” about substances and the brain,

instead of lecturing and moralizing

• use natural opportunities (news, local mishaps) and

hypotheticals to trigger discussions

Family Structure & Routines

 Limit screens  Homework time secured  Eat dinner together and limit your own alcohol use  Exercise, chores, sleep, take smart stuff out of room  Mandate extracurricular activities (sports, talent,

service)

 Clear expectations and privileges  First, responsibilities and then earned privileges

School is priority

 Support your child’s scholastic development

 Be involved/volunteer at school  Communicate academic expectations and values  Get help if there are problems  Everything goes downhill with academic failure

Communication tips

 Don’t engage in “power struggles” that are about how to think, and who

is right.

 Focus on the important issues of health and safety.  Model the language and tone of voice you expect from your teen.  When communication deteriorates, take a time out.  Practice “C.A.L.M.”

Cool down, Assess your options, Listen with empathy, Make a plan.

 You are more accountable for self-control than teen is.  Find win/win. (You want to go out and have fun, I want safe

parameters)

ww.drugabuse.gov/family-checkup (Videos on how to and how not to communicate with your teen)