Judgment and Relationship Experience: You Dont Know What You Dont - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
Judgment and Relationship Experience: You Dont Know What You Dont Know Until Now EITA Consultant: Jen Furness M.Ed. Tom Wolf, Governor Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
EITA Consultant: Jen Furness M.Ed.
Judgment and Relationship Experience: You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know Until Now
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
What are judgments?
….And where do they come from?
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
What are judgments?
§ core processes of judgment:
§ evaluation and labeling
§ often automatic/unconscious § based on opposites
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
What are judgments?
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
A Lens
beliefs / norms judgments reality
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
A Lens
person: low salary spends a lot of quality time with his kids beliefs: high salary = important = success judgment unsuccessful
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
A Lens
person: low salary spends a lot of quality time with his kids beliefs: family = important = success judgment highly successful
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
situation: crying because
beliefs: a person may view crying as a sign
judgment “I am weak if I cry”
A Lens
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
A judgment often says more about the person who makes the judgment than about the person about whom the judgment is made.
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Ridge & Reber (2002)
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
§ if interviewer believed that women felt attracted to them: more flirting behavior § female applicants: more flirting when interviewer believed that they felt attracted to them
Ridge & Reber (2002)
Shaping Reality
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Shaping Reality
Thus, behavior is guided by the filter through which we look at reality.
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Duality is having two parts with
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Duality
§ duality is at the core of judgment § duality is contrast § opposites exist only in relation to each other
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Exercise
Imagine you were the only person on this planet in this whole universe.
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Exercise
§ The opposites make each other possible:
§ happiness <> sadness § life <> death § work <> holiday
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
The Same Coin
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
The Same Coin
work leisure time
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
The Same Coin
failure
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Strengthening Duality and Judgment
§ focuses on only one of the two halves § two halves are not perceived as interdependent anymore
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
If we take a look at the whole, we see that: §Good and bad always exists because of each other
Beyond Judgment
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Exercise
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Reflection
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
WHAT I FEEL
JUDGMENT: “BAD”
HOW I SHOULD FEEL
Conflict
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Mindfulness and Conflict
awareness
WHAT I FEEL
JUDGMENT: “BAD”
HOW I SHOULD FEEL
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Mindfulness
judgment
awareness
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
A Mindful Person…
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Reflection
Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
EITA Consultant: Jen Furness M.Ed. jfurness@pattankop.net 484-336-0908