Judgment and Relationship Experience: You Dont Know What You Dont - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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Judgment and Relationship Experience: You Dont Know What You Dont - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Judgment and Relationship Experience: You Dont Know What You Dont Know Until Now EITA Consultant: Jen Furness M.Ed. Tom Wolf, Governor Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services


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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

EITA Consultant: Jen Furness M.Ed.

Judgment and Relationship Experience: You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know Until Now

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

What are judgments?

….And where do they come from?

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

What are judgments?

§ core processes of judgment:

§ evaluation and labeling

§ often automatic/unconscious § based on opposites

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

What are judgments?

  • They limit reality
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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

  • 1. A Lens
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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

A Lens

beliefs / norms judgments reality

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

A Lens

person: low salary spends a lot of quality time with his kids beliefs: high salary = important = success judgment unsuccessful

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

A Lens

person: low salary spends a lot of quality time with his kids beliefs: family = important = success judgment highly successful

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

situation: crying because

  • f stress

beliefs: a person may view crying as a sign

  • f weakness

judgment “I am weak if I cry”

A Lens

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

A judgment often says more about the person who makes the judgment than about the person about whom the judgment is made.

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Ridge & Reber (2002)

  • 2. Shaping Reality
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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

§ if interviewer believed that women felt attracted to them: more flirting behavior § female applicants: more flirting when interviewer believed that they felt attracted to them

Ridge & Reber (2002)

Shaping Reality

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Shaping Reality

Thus, behavior is guided by the filter through which we look at reality.

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

  • 3. Duality

Duality is having two parts with

  • pposite meanings

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Duality

§ duality is at the core of judgment § duality is contrast § opposites exist only in relation to each other

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Exercise

Imagine you were the only person on this planet in this whole universe.

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Exercise

§ The opposites make each other possible:

§ happiness <> sadness § life <> death § work <> holiday

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

The Same Coin

  • +
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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

The Same Coin

work leisure time

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

The Same Coin

  • success

failure

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Strengthening Duality and Judgment

§ focuses on only one of the two halves § two halves are not perceived as interdependent anymore

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

If we take a look at the whole, we see that: §Good and bad always exists because of each other

Beyond Judgment

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

  • 4. Judgments Limit Reality
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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Exercise

  • 1. Recall a recent negative event that you have experienced in your life.
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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Reflection

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

WHAT I FEEL

  • 5. Judgment Creates Conflict

JUDGMENT: “BAD”

HOW I SHOULD FEEL

Conflict

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Mindfulness and Conflict

awareness

WHAT I FEEL

JUDGMENT: “BAD”

HOW I SHOULD FEEL

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Mindfulness

judgment

awareness

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

A Mindful Person…

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

Reflection

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Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services

EITA Consultant: Jen Furness M.Ed. jfurness@pattankop.net 484-336-0908