Judgment and Relationship Experience: You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know Until Now EITA Consultant: Jen Furness M.Ed. Tom Wolf, Governor Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
What are judgments? ….And where do they come from? Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
What are judgments? § core processes of judgment: § evaluation and labeling § often automatic/unconscious § based on opposites Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
What are judgments? • They limit reality Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
1. A Lens Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
A Lens reality beliefs / norms judgments Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
A Lens person: beliefs: low salary spends a lot of quality high salary = time with his kids important = success judgment unsuccessful Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
A Lens person: beliefs: low salary spends a lot of family = quality time with his kids important = success judgment highly successful Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
A Lens beliefs: situation: a person may view crying because crying as a sign of stress of weakness judgment “I am weak if I cry” Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
” A judgment often says more about the person who makes the ” judgment than about the person about whom the judgment is made. Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
2. Shaping Reality Ridge & Reber (2002) Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Shaping Reality § if interviewer believed that women felt attracted to them: more flirting behavior § female applicants: more flirting when interviewer believed that they felt attracted to them Ridge & Reber (2002) Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Shaping Reality ” ” Thus, behavior is guided by the filter through which we look at reality. Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
3. Duality ” ” Duality is having two parts with opposite meanings Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Duality § duality is at the core of judgment § duality is contrast § opposites exist only in relation to each other Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Exercise Imagine you were the only person on this planet in this whole universe. Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Exercise § The opposites make each other possible: § happiness <> sadness § life <> death § work <> holiday Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
The Same Coin - + Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
The Same Coin leisure work time Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
The Same Coin - success failure Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Strengthening Duality and Judgment ” § focuses on only one of the two halves - + § two halves are not perceived as interdependent anymore Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Beyond Judgment If we take a look at the whole, we see that: § Good and bad always exists because of each other Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
4. Judgments Limit Reality Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Exercise 1. Recall a recent negative event that you have experienced in your life. Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Reflection Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
5. Judgment Creates Conflict HOW I WHAT I FEEL SHOULD JUDGMENT: “BAD” FEEL Conflict Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Mindfulness and Conflict awareness HOW I WHAT I FEEL SHOULD JUDGMENT: “BAD” FEEL Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Mindfulness awareness judgment Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
A Mindful Person… Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
Reflection Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
EITA Consultant: Jen Furness M.Ed. jfurness@pattankop.net 484-336-0908 Tom Wolf, Governor Pedro Rivera, Secretary of Education | Teresa Miller, Secretary of Human Services
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