SLIDE 15 1/29/2019 15
Assert yourself
Remember all the staff are well trained and, typically, warm and amazing people! Introduce yourself (as Dad) to everyone involved in your baby’s care - doctors, nurses, techs and staff – including janitorial Advocate to be involved with all aspects of baby’s/babies’ care Ask lots of questions, ask for clarification in lay terms
Be like Dwayne The Rock Johnson – infant skin-to-skin (Kangaroo) care is magical for the parent and the baby Like on airplanes - Put your oxygen mask on before trying to help others – emphasize self-care (i.e., sleep, eating, attending to other parts of your life, breaks from the stress) Vary your visits – with mom sometimes, on your own; after/before work/evenings Yes, you want information BUT the internet is a double-edged sword Don’t get lost in the dark hole – the Web doesn’t know your baby Consider connecting with the other dads on the unit Monitor your frustration and overwhelm – When it gets the best of you - Put yourself on time-out; then, apologize Capture positive movements – mental notes, photos, writing journals or poems Don’t forget your baby needs you to invest in your intimate relationship and parenting team Reconnect (or a first connection) with your faith. Talk with spiritual leader(s), especially those at the hospital Consider outside support, now and later Psychologist/social worker/counselor/therapist Parent to parent support groups
Tips identified by NICU Dad Grads -
Web Resources & Supports
NICU dad veterans are out there and want to offer advice and support…
http://www.nicu-pedia.com/blog/6-nicu-dads https://www.pinterest.com/dallaspreemies/nicu-dads/ http://www.twiniversity.com/2015/06/surviving-the-nicu-a- dads-perspective/
Example web and app resources
http://handtohold.org/nicu-resource-library/ https://www.caringbridge.org/ - private mini-site to regularly update your family/friends http://grahamsfoundation.org/mypreemie-app/ NICU-Words App https://www.facebook.com/PapasOfPreemies/
Group dedicated to increasing awareness about the experience of parenting premature babies and all that life brings after the NICU Again - external & professional supports
- Leaders from your spiritual community
- Hospital and parent-parent support groups
- http://www.preemiecare.org/supportgroups.htm#CO
- NICU-informed counselors & therapists
Things for NICU Administration and Staff to Consider
Establish open visitation times and communicate to dads that they can come whenever they can make it – Babies can’t tell time anyway Create and offer simplified, multi-lingual, materials – handout/pamphlet/webpage/streaming PowerPoints – are greatly valued by dads/partners Schedule regular (at least annual) updates to materials for families and resource lists
Fathers services in particular are very hard to develop and maintain due to limited Federal and philanthropic priorities to provide services for men
Regular re-training of staff on how to support parents, especially needed for new to the NICU staff Grapple with the HIPAA need for confidentiality and the family’s need to know you know who they are and can help them and help them connect with other families Remind graduating parents that the journey doesn’t end at discharge and encourage them to seek out professional resources in an on-going fashion Important work is emerging in the literature
Screening tools and pilot project reports are starting to be published Use that work as your springboard Reach out to content experts Remember to do a “needs assessment” –
work with current and graduated families to ensure people want and use what you’ll offer
