Cooling the Flames of Defensiveness Tour Guide: Raj Dhasi - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Cooling the Flames of Defensiveness Tour Guide: Raj Dhasi

Defensiveness (p. 1) Questions, comments, rejections, aha’s Setting limits on objectionable behaviour Skills to de-escalate defensiveness in others Recognizing and managing your triggers Maintaining your composure Mitigating fears related to difficult conversations

Defining Defensiveness (p. 2) • Serving to protect. • Devoted to resisting or preventing aggression or attack. • behavior to protect oneself from a perceived threat or attack • in the state or condition of being prepared or required to defend against attack or criticism. Merriam Webster Dictionary

For a sink to work well, what is more important – the faucet or the drain? Why?

Dealing with Defensiveness

5 Steps to Defusing Defensiveness (p.6) 1. Manage your body movement 2. Regulate your para-verbal presentation 3. Manage your self talk 4. Attune 5. Respond: de-escalating skills Self Care

Dealing with Defensive Behaviour (p. 7) • Use your para-verbals • Normalize • Agree where you can • Question • Reframe

Assertion (p. 8)

Assert (p. 9) • Describe – what you see or hear that is problematic for you • Express – impact on you or the conversation • Specify – what you would prefer • Refocus – to the matter at hand

Key Cooling Skills • Use your voice • Normalize • Agree • Speak with transparency • Question • Reframe • Assert

Cooling the Flames of Defensiveness Ph: 604 353 5100 E: raj@turningpointresolutions.com W: www.turningpointresolutions.com