Stepfamily Statistics Approximately one-third of all weddings in - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Stepfamily Statistics

 Approximately one-third of all weddings in the United States today create a stepfamily.  It’s predicted that stepfamilies will be the most common family form in the U.S. by the year 2020. An estimated 9,100 new American stepfamilies are created each week.  Thirty-three percent of all Americans are in a stepfamily relationship, including an estimated 10 million stepchildren under the age of 18.  The divorce rate for remarried and stepfamily couples varies but is at least 60

• percent. At least two-thirds of stepfamily couples divorce, and divorce occurs more

quickly in stepfamilies than first marriages.  About 46 percent of U.S. marriages today are a remarriage for one or both partners, and about 65 percent of remarriages involve children from the prior marriage, thus forming a stepfamily.  Source: Stepping In, Stepping Out: Creating Stepfamily Rhythm via Counseling Today article August 30, 2016

Birth Order Position

 The place in the family based on the situation in which the child is born.  This place depends on factors such as number of years between children, disability, and death & miscarriage

• f siblings.

 Generally discussed in traditional families.  Where an individual falls within their family has some influence on how they form their personality.

Ansbacher, 1964

Oldest Child

 Some time is spent as an Only Child  Dethroned at some point – the time spent as an only before dethroned is an important factor in personality  Authoritative, Leader  Rules and Laws  Admire the past & negative outlook toward future  Greatest population of problem children

Ansbacher, 1964

Second Child

 Has a pacemaker  Often more talented and successful  When dethroned, it is not so bad as they have already had to share with another  Is a revolutionary / competitive  Constant striving to overcome others  May be more than one second child

Ansbacher, 1964

Youngest Child

 Never dethroned  Has pacemaker(s)  Usually passes older siblings  Tries to excel in everything  Usually spoiled  May feel the most inferior  Second largest population of problem children

Ansbacher, 1964

Only Child

 Rival is father  Pampered or spoiled  Center of attention  Supported by others yet rules over them  Has difficulty sharing when an adult

Ansbacher, 1964

Other Sibling Situations

 Gender differences  Cultural implications  Physical differences: attractiveness, deformity, organ inferiority, etc.

Ansbacher, 1964

Family Constellation

 Each person has their own place in the family  Each person is influenced by the actions of others in the family

 positive or negative

 Private logic  Parents play an important role

Dreikurs, 1992

Changes in Family

 Death  Divorce  Abandonment/no contact from biological parent  Moving far away from family  Changing schools/friends  Financial impact

Yours, Mine, Ours

 Both spouses have children and all children live with them  Both spouses have children and only one set lives with them, while the others visit (weekends, holidays, vacations)  One spouse has children who live with them  One spouse has children who visit (weekends, holidays, vacations)  One spouse has children, then spouses have child(ren) together

Who all is involved?

 Parents & stepparents  Siblings & stepsiblings  Half siblings  Grandparents & step-grandparents  All of the above on two sides of family (mom’s/dad’s)

Shuffling the deck

 Oldest become dethroned….. again!  Babies move up in chronological order…. not fair!  Onlys have to ……. share?!?  And this is at dad’s house, what about mom’s house?  Constantly shuffling - instability

The age gap matters

 If there is a bigger gap in age between sibling sets, the less of an impact it will have on personalities

 Some exceptions: chauffeuring, babysitting, older sibling influences

 The closer in age, or blending of ages, the bigger the impact on family dynamics

“Blending” the Family

 Be honest (within age, and within reason)  Discuss changes (together) before they occur  Do not expect everyone to be “happy” with the changes  There will be bumps in the road, expect them, have a plan for them  Regular family meetings  Validate feelings & emotions

Feelings

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References

 Ansbacher, H. L. & Ansbacher, R. R. (1964). The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler: A systematic presentation in selections from his writings. New York, NY. Harper Perennial.  Carlson, J. D., & Robey, P. A. (2011). An Integrative Adlerian Approach to Family Counseling. Journal Of Individual Psychology, 67(3), 232-244.  Dreikurs, R. & Soltz, V . (1992). Children: the challenge: the classical work on improving parent-child relations – intelligent, humane, and eminently practical. New York, NY. Plume.  Eckstein, D. (2000). Empirical Studies Indicating Significant Birth-Order-Related Personality

• Differences. Journal Of Individual Psychology, 56(4), 481.

 Eckstein, D., Aycock, K. J., Sperber, M. A., McDonald, J., Van Wiesner III, V ., Watts, R. E., & Ginsburg, P. (2010). A Review of 200 Birth-Order Studies: Lifestyle Characteristics. Journal Of Individual Psychology, 66(4), 408-434.  Eckstein, D., & Kaufman, J. A. (2012). The Role of Birth Order in Personality: An Enduring Intellectual Legacy of Alfred Adler. Journal Of Individual Psychology, 68(1), 60-74.

References cont’d

 http://ct.counseling.org/2016/08/behind-book-stepping-stepping- creating-stepfamily-rhythm/  Kluger, J. (2011). The sibling effect: what the bonds among brothers and sisters reveal about us. New York, NY . Riverhead Books.  Nelsen, J., Erwin, C., & Glenn, H. S. (2000). Positive Discipline for Your Stepfamily: Nurturing Harmony, Respect, and Joy in Your New

• Family. Roseville, CA Prima Publishing.

 Popkin, M. & Einstein, E. (2007). Active Parenting for Stepfamilies: For parents & stepparents. Atlanta, GA. Active Parenting Publishers.  Stewart, A. E., & Eckstein, D. (2012). Birth Order Within Individual

• Psychology. Journal Of Individual Psychology, 68(1), 1-3.

Contact me:

 Renee Devine  CoachReneeDevine@gmail.com