1 Constructing Me Sense Contact Perception Coming together of - PDF document

The Western View of the Self Psychotherapy • Emphasis on separateness vs. Without a Self Anatta connection to family, tribe, nature, etc. • Healthy (Western) development: Ronald D. Siegel  Individuated  Aware of Boundaries  Knowing one’s needs  Clear identity and sense of self Narcissism in Western Narcissism in Buddhist Therapeutic Benefits of Psychology Psychology Glimpsing Anatta • DSM • We suffer when we don’t know who we 1. Increased affect tolerance  Character disorder really are • Behavior therapy 2. Radical acceptance of parts  Self efficacy • Attempt to buttress self is central cause 3. Freedom from self-esteem concerns • Psychodynamic psychotherapy of suffering 4. Deeper connection to others  Healthy narcissism or self esteem • Our concept of “self” is based on a fundamental misunderstanding Default Mode Network Thinking Homunculus? 1

Constructing “Me” Sense Contact Perception • Coming together of • Identity is a • Evaluates sense construction project  Sense organ experience  Sense object • Mind is a world-  Awareness of object  Conditioned by building organ culture and language • Six senses  Makes order out of chaos • Constructs and  Seeing  Constructs reality categorizes  Hearing from data streaming  Smelling  Resolves ambiguity in at break-neck  Tasting speed  Touching  Thinking Feeling Where do I Begin and End? Intention and Disposition • We add an affective • We try to or hedonic tone to  Hold onto the pleasant all experience  Push away the unpleasant  Pleasant  Ignore the neutral  Unpleasant • We develop habits of intention  Neutral  Dispositions  Learned behaviors or conditioned responses  Identity or personality characteristics Who Am I? The Construction of Experience Superorganism • Two types of self-reference Intention  Narrative focus (NF) Feeling Perception • Enduring traits • Talking to ourselves about ourselves Consciousness  Experiential focus (EF) • Moment-to-moment experience Sense Organ Sense Object • The mind-body in action 2

Medial Prefrontal Cortex The Study The Results (mPFC) • Links subjective • Half of subjects engaged in 8 week MBSR • In novices, experiential focus (EF) reduced experiences across course, half on wait list self-referential activity in medial prefrontal time cortex (mPFC) • Holds memory of • All trained in narrative focus (NF) and  Self traits experiential focus (EF) modes of responding • In MBSR participants, EF resulted in more  Traits of similar to adjectives marked and pervasive reduced activity in others mPFC, along with increased engagement in  Reflected self- • All asked to do each approach while in fMRI knowledge several other areas scanner  Future aspirations No one Home The Conclusion To study Buddhism is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. • Continuous flow of • There is a fundamental neural dissociation between two forms of self-awareness: moment-to-moment To forget the self is to be enlightened by all experience  The self across time things.  The unfolding of moment-to-moment experience in  New “self” born and the present moment To be enlightened by all things is to be free dies each moment • Not even a stable • Mindfulness practice enables us to see these from attachment to the body and mind of witness as separate one's self and of others.  Just impersonal  To see how the separate “self” is created out of a -- Dogen 13 th Century experience unfolding narrative A human being is part of the whole Nargarguna called by us universe ... We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of Thus neither self nor non-self 1) Affect Tolerance consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to Are to be apprehended as real. affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task Therefore the Great Subduer rejected must be to free ourselves from the prison by Views of self and of non-self. widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self. 3

And I, Sir, Can Be Run Not Knowing Selfing & Affect Tolerance Through with a Sword • Not “my,” but “the”  Anger  Sadness  Fear  Joy  Lust Our Polytheistic Mind Beginner’s Mind 2) Acceptance of Parts How Was Your Meditation? Jung’s Shadow We’re all Bozos on this Bus • Dandelions in a field • Part trying to attend to • We identify with some the breath • Not a path to perfection, but a path to parts while rejecting wholeness • Part fantasizing about others the future • Boundary of what we can accept in • Part judging myself • We become defensive ourselves is the boundary of our when shadow is • Ask the committee! freedom illuminated – Zen Patriarch 4

Self-Evaluation The Trance of Unworthiness • Eastern meditation teachers are 3) Freedom from surprised by Western self-criticism Self-Esteem Concerns • Anxiety is primal mood of the separate self (Tara Brach) • Related to Western cultural emphasis on the separate self What Realms Define Me? The Failure of Success Lake Wobegon • The pain of I, me, me, mine • Skills & Talents • Accomplishments Where all the women are strong, all the • Pedigree or Group men are good looking, and all the • Narcissistic recalibration Membership children are above average. • Moral Standing • Impossibility of winning consistently • Appearance Wrong Wall? It’s Getting Worse As If by an Unseen Hand • Adaptive value to identifying with “self”  Evolved through natural selection  Self-preservation and promotion instinct shared by other animals 5

Egos Inflating Over Time: A Cross ‐ Temporal Narcissistic Personality Meta ‐ Analysis of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory Suffering in Isolation Inventory • I just want to be reasonably happy • If we’re not happy, it’s our fault • I want to amount to something in the eyes of the world  Failure to buy the right consumer product • If I ruled the world it would be a better place  Inherent weakness • The thought of ruling the world scares the hell out of me • I am much like everybody else • Psychiatric diagnostic system can • I am an extraordinary person exacerbate problem  Only sick people have the disorders • I always know what I’m doing • Sometimes I’m not sure of what I’m doing Journal of Personality, Volume 76, Issue 4 Self-Esteem Autobiography He’s just an ordinary kid. I get my money from Mommy. -- Barry Magid ( Ordinary Mind ) Love Self-Esteem 4) Connecting to Others 6

Us and Them Judgments “Do unto others as you would Servant Meat have them do unto you” Servant Enemy Enemy It’s not just a commandment, but a law of Servant Servant nature. Meat Meat Enemy Servant Meat Enemy Servant Relational-Cultural Theory Three Objects of Awareness • Grew out of feminist critique of conventional • Mindfulness of sensations, thoughts, psychology feelings in “me” • Benefits of mutual connection • Mindfulness of the words, body  Energy and vitality language, mood of the other  Greater capacity to act  Increased clarity  Enhanced self-worth (efficacy) • Mindfulness of the flow of relationship  Desire and capacity for more connection It’s About Other People Life in a Space Suit • Defenses against Make a connection, not an pain insulate us from one another impression. • We imagine they keep us safe, but they leave us more vulnerable 7

Service Embracing Insignificance Wat Tham Sua King of England, 1387 Poor Prognosis Tiger Cave Temple Krabi, Thailand 8

Loving-kindness for the Narcissistic Threats Competition • Anxiety often involves threats to us or our loved ones  Self image  Health  Wealth  Fantasized loss of pleasure  Anticipated disappointment Looking Through Another’s Eyes My Mantra Condon, Desbordes, & Miller (2013) Self-Compassion Implications for Treatment Why Are You Unhappy? • Psychotherapy Because 99.9% of everything you without a self can • Self-kindness help us think, and everything you do, is  Embrace • Common Humanity for yourself. And there isn’t one. ordinariness and insignificance • Mindfulness  Foster connection, -- Wei Wu Wei acceptance, and psychological flexibility 9

Therapeutic Progress For recorded meditations, visit: Not about me Not about me www.mindfulness-solution.com www.sittingtogether.com “mine” about me “mine” email: about me rsiegel@hms.harvard.edu -- Adapted from Engler & Fulton 10